


Purple Hearts and Tear Drops

by UbiquitousInterests



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Basically what I think would happen during the 2 years Jihyun is gone after his route, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Lots of pining and yearning like usual, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 47,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UbiquitousInterests/pseuds/UbiquitousInterests
Summary: Things were good. They were great. Nearly perfect.Yet something still felt...off. Jumin was satisfied, yes. How could he not be? Nearly all the previous worries that plagued the organization have shrunk considerably. V was still traveling and trying to find himself. Rika was no longer a threat and the legal problems have more or less all been solved. Everyone was safe. They were healthy. Things were good again and RFA was happy. Jumin was too, but there was still something.Sitting on his bed late one night, he spoke aloud to his empty room. "What is it that I'm searching for?" Then his phone buzzes and your name appears on the screen - was it you?-MM fics in 2020? Say it isn't so! Everyone hop on board the Jumin Deserves The World train! Lmao I was mad at Jihyun's ending and was so heartbroken that Jumin basically becomes a drunk in the normal ending...mad enough to write this whole fic lol...This is a huge mash up of like all of their routes - mostly a fusion of Jihyun's, Jumin's, and Zen's. It starts a few months after the final day of Jihyun's route and then major events from other routes merge in. Basically, spoiler central so be warned!
Relationships: Han Jumin/Main Character, Han Jumin/Reader
Comments: 18
Kudos: 88





	1. Farewell to old times

**Author's Note:**

> Wahhhhh, this was a BEAST to write! And right after I said I never wanted to write another long multi chapter fic...sigh. I was just so frustrated at Jihyun's normal ending! I mean, the man vanishes for 2 years and MC doesn't fall for Jumin (or any of the others)?! Pfft.  
> ANYWAYS!!! An entire fic dedicated to how amazing Jumin is and how much I adore him. I downloaded MM when it got translated to English and it took me this long to write a MM fic lmao i dont even care if this doesnt get any hits or kudos or comments because this is my personal love letter to Jumin - ugh I love that man! Although, I hope any folks that read this enjoy it! I worked very hard on it, harder than any fic I've written before.

> Jumin Han: I'll be standing firm…
> 
> So you can lean on me if you need to.

He meant those words he typed into the messenger just months earlier. Originally, it was about Rika's supposed death when the bomb exploded in her apartment, but it extended further beyond that. V knew that, which is exactly why his long-time best friend was requesting this of him.

“Jumin, I cannot thank you enough. For everything...I mean it.” Those mint eyes full of emotion stared into his own. They're healthy now, fully healed from the surgery he had a few months prior. There is a newfound life in them that Jumin can see beginning to bloom. “I have to do this, and I hate to leave you to clean up my mess and run everything on your own. So, I thank you again. I trust that I can leave this all in your care - including her...”

_Her_. The archangel of the RFA - that was her unofficial title given to her by Luciel. Zen preferred the RFA's princess, but no one could entirely deny angel was likely the most fitting term. Jumin admired her ability to remain not only strong, but endlessly compassionate throughout this entire ordeal. From being manipulated and lured away from the peaceful life she lived before, trapped and tormented in a cult where she saw violence and cruelty first-hand, to being forced to carry the emotional burden of complete strangers and solve a puzzle that still felt incomplete. And now, the man she fought so hard for is leaving to find a part of himself that he never truly sought after.

“Of course. I offered before you ever asked. The only thanks I require is that you eventually come back to us - safe and happy.” Jumin replied, meaning every word. A small smile found its way onto Jumin's mouth and he sighed deeply. “Although, wine would be a nice gift along with your return.”

His old friend laughed, knowing that Jumin only half meant it. “Alright, I'll make sure to get the best I can find and bring it back to you.” He promised with a smile.

The two embrace for a moment and when they part, V grabs his remaining luggage and Jumin gives him a small nod. It was a farewell to old times. Just as V took his steps towards the glass doors of the airport, Jumin found himself feeling they were all stepping forward into something new. 

-

V left at an incredibly...difficult time. There was the issue with Rika, his previous lover who abandoned the life she created to found a cult and try to forcibly induct “believers”. The sudden cancellation of the RFA party was a blow to the organization's reputation, not that Rika's previous participation made anything better. There were still plenty of legal operations underway and Jumin worked closely with the other members to settle matters as swiftly as possible. 

That is exactly what he was on his way to do. They were all meeting together to talk more about the numerous legal cases. They all decided that there should be no more secrets amongst them. Secrets and miscommunication landed them right in the middle of trouble and heartbreak, and they all agreed to ensure it never happens again. 

It was actually their youngest member who proposed the idea, which is far from surprising given what the boy had gone through. Before V was discharged after his eye surgery, the group all gathered away from his room in the hospital while the injured man rested. The group stood around in a circle trying to comprehend exactly what was happening, and Yoosung blurted his thoughts out with tears in his eyes. 

“This is so awful, we can't let it happen again! No more secrets, no more hiding things behind our backs. All it took was for one secret to snowball into,” he gestured towards the group, “ _this_. Y'know? It can't happen again. Please, promise me guys...” 

True to her angelic nature, it was the newest member that first agreed and went to embrace Yoosung, who burst into tears in her arms. A sympathetic Zen reached an arm around Yoosung's shaking shoulders, and Luciel and Assistant Kang nodded silently.

“I agree,” Jumin said in response to the emotional scene before him, crossing his arms and standing tall. “The fact Rika was seeking treatment for her health was nothing to be ashamed of, and it led to this complicated...mess...we've found ourselves in. Unnecessary secrets have gone on for too long and it is clear the consequences are more disastrous than anyone could have anticipated.”

“And I would like to add something...”, the new member spoke with caution, but didn't hesitate. “We gotta work together. Okay? No more solving problems alone. Yes, secrets caused a lot of harm and continue to, but...communication means nothing if someone - _anyone_ \- insists on solving everything on their own.”

It was obvious _who_ she was speaking about and without any hesitation the group agreed. That was his best friends worst habit, and one Jumin felt he may finally drop because of this addition to their organization. She changed V. In a way Jumin never felt would have been possible. The change was only just beginning and only time could tell if it would last, but there was something about her that told him it was permanent. 

“Hey, Trust Fund Kid, you listening?” Zen said, snapping Jumin out of his thoughts. 

“Group hug, Jumin!” The young woman opened her arm towards him beaming.

Before he had a chance to decline the offer, she reached over and pulled him in by his arm, forcing him into the embrace. That was when Jumin knew she was good at bringing them all together, physically and emotionally. Even months later this remained true as Jumin walked into the meeting room and was greeted by his fellow members. 

“Perfect, now that Jumin-hyung is here we can get started!” Yoosung cheered.

“Already back from the airport? Man, V really left, huh?” The white-haired actor said.

“Glad you made it back in time, Jumin.” She walked up and handed him a few documents before walking to the other side of the table.

“Aww, I bet our princess is sad she didn't get to go with.” Zen teased, pulling her into a hug. 

“Oh - haha, no. Actually, it was better that Jumin went. I was busy preparing everything with Jaehee and Seven.” The new member said defensively waving a hand with a small smile when Zen released her.

“I offered, but she declined. Assistant Kang, you have everything set up, yes?” Jumin said simply.

“Yes, of course, Mr. Han.”

“Zen-hyung, stop messing with her.” Yoosung whined weakly in her defense. 

“Worry not, young Yoosung! RFA's angel will continue to guide you all alongside God7!! Brokenhearted or not!” The red-head loudly declared. 

“I mean it, I'm not upset. I'm genuinely happy for him and wish him the best.” She says with a smile.

“Yeahhh, but didn't he say he wanted you to wait for him? Doesn't that mean you guys are, you know, in l- ”

“Zen.” She interrupts in a sweet voice that was quick to stop him. “Please. It isn't like that.” 

“Oh!” Seven shouts. “So the angel's heart is open for the taking?! Gimmie gimmie!” He says as he leans forward across the table with outstretched arms aimed at her and wiggles his fingers.

“As if you know anything about hearts,” Zen laughs. “You can't hack into love~!”

“Yeah and you can't selfie spam your way into it either, hyung.” Yoosung snorts.

“Hm. Maybe I should hide it or sell it to the highest bidder…” She playfully muses with a fist resting under her chin in fake contemplation.

“No! Then Mr. Who-Needs-Emotions over there would get it!” Zen protested loudly.

“I have no interest in a human heart, I have a fully functioning one already.” Jumin replied with a tap of his finger against his chest as his eyes focused on the legal documents before him. 

When she laughs at his joke, Jumin looks up from the papers and around the small room full of lively banter and cheerful smiles. Though he offered to be a pillar to lean on, he could not help but prefer how well she got all of them to stand together, drawing strength from one another. Although they walk together, it was clear she was leading them all towards new beginnings.


	2. Where do we go from here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Healing is hard. It is hard for everyone and in different ways, but it is difficult for you as the new RFA party coordinator to come to terms with everything. Now that the issues that came to light since your arrival have more or less been settled...where do you all go from here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone may like this chapter since it is not a fan favorite character...but! Chapter 4 is where (imo) it starts getting good. I'm just setting the scene here but we'll get into the meat soon enough!! Just get past these chapters and you'll get what you signed up for!

\- Six months later -

"And before I leave, this is the key to the room." Jaehee said as she handed her friend a small key. 

"Wow...I really cannot believe you guys did this for me." You smile, taking the key and hugging her. You pull away, looking around the small office space and large windows that give a view of the city. "Seriously, you _really_ didn't h- "

"Hush." Jaehee interrupts with a genuine smile of her own. "As the RFA party coordinator, it is only fitting you have your own personal space to dedicate to the job. It was convenient that C&R had an open office space that you can use. Besides, you're much closer to the rest of us now. You lived so far away before, but the new apartment and now this office helps."

"Don't even remind me about you guys getting me that apartment! If I think about it I'll start crying again!" You throw your arms around her once again, embracing her tighter than before. "Oh! Now that we work in the same building, we can go to that café you told me about! And we can _finally_ eat lunch together."

Before she could say anything, Jaehee's phone buzzed and she pulled back. Looking at the notification she made a face and adjusted her glasses.

"Uh-oh, something bad?" You ask.

She sighs, the smiling and cheerful side of her disappearing in an instant. "Mr. Han has a meeting in an hour but he just asked another assistant if there are any cat-themed restaurants C&R owns…"

"Go go go!" You urge, knowing full well that Jaehee will spend that entire hour trying to talk him out of starting any new business.

Closing the door behind her as she leaves, you rest your back against it and look around the new office once again. There's a new computer with dual monitors, Seven insisted that it was a _must have_ . To the right there were bookshelves with newly organized materials. Everything about the party they could gather materials on over the past few months was collected in a few small boxes that, with the help of Zen and Yoosung, have been neatly sorted and categorized. There wasn't much after... _her_ apartment blew up. Whatever previous party information, or whatever additional secrets she had, all disappeared that night.

You shook your head. _No! No more suspecting, no more blaming. Just accept it and keep going forward_.

It was hard not to think about Rika. From the moment you joined the RFA chat room to this very day, Rika was everywhere. It had been about, what, eight? Nine? months since it all started. You never expected so much to happen, all you did was download a random app out of boredom. So much happened, you went through a lot. Everyone did. These months with the RFA have been hectic. Between legal battles, trying to figure out what to do with Rika, looking for missing people, addressing and slowly trying to heal from the trauma of it all...It was a shock to everyone (including you) when you suggested hosting parties again.

There was only brief hesitation. When you dropped the question in the chat there was a pause. Everyone silently asks the same thing. _But what about...them?_

Rika and V. The two founders of the RFA. Is it appropriate? Sure, you were technically RFA party coordinator, but that was only given to you due to a plot devised by Rika to bring the group to Mint Eye. It wasn't like you actually earned it. All the other members had genuine reasons for joining the organization, but you were the sole one awkwardly just existing in their space. You couldn't be a real RFA party coordinator without planning an actual party. But...given everything that happened, is it right? Wouldn't it just feel _wrong_ without them?

Right?

> Jumin Han: I like that idea. 

That was all the encouragement they all needed. The interim RFA leader expressing his approval was enough for you and just as soon as the cheers died down, there were suggestions for potential guests. They weren't as...unusual as the ones suggested before (an astronaut literally named "satellite" or an invisible man), but they certainly weren't "normal" either. You make a mental note to tell Seven you convinced longcat to attend.

An unexpected small knock against the door makes you jump a bit and brings you back to reality. 

Opening the door you're greeted by a familiar face. 

"Yoosung! You're here!" Embracing him you immediately feel energized by his happy spirit. 

"Cutie pie Yoosung is here! Haha! Are you ready?" He smiles at you and looks past you into the room - probably making sure you didn't already have someone inside.

"Let me grab my bag and I'll be all good." Gathering your things, you make sure to lock the door with the key Jaehee gave you and hope she was successful in talking Jumin out of any cat-themed business pursuits.

-

A deep inhale through your nose and a slow exhale out your mouth are what finally gets Yoosung to address the elephant in the waiting room. 

"Listen...you don't have to talk to her if you don't want to. After everything she...I mean, after everything that happened…"

Turning to face the blond, you smile at him. "I need this. It's been long enough. I know not everybody wants to, but I don't think I can really move forward unless I talk with her about what happened in the past."

He nods lightly and gives a reassuring smile. "I know what you mean. That's how it was for me at first. I...will never forget what happened, but after hearing what she has to say I feel like life could finally move forward again." His eyes drift towards the ground. "The past and present are so intertwined. You remember what I told you I learned once in high school?"

"That the past and present are one in the sky?" You answer, smiling at the fond memory of you, Yoosung, and Zen stargazing late one night. "You're right Yoosung." Taking another deep breath, you sit up straight. "I can't keep staring up at the sky, I have to keep looking forward or else life will pass me by."

That earns you a small chuckle from the young member and you feel a lot more at ease. Still nervous, but significantly less fearful. 

"Yoosung Kim?" A nurse comes from behind a door and looks around.

"Oh!" He springs up and grabs your hand, leading you through the confusing maze of a care facility. When he stops in front of a door and releases his hold on your hand, you feel your heart in your throat. He looks at you with a smile but eyes full of worry and says, "You can change your mind, it's fine. Remember? No shame, right? You can try again if you need to." 

"I feel strong knowing you'll be out here waiting for me. I can do this. _We_ can do this." You finish with a less confident, but genuine smile.

Nodding, he knocks on the door. "Noona? It's Yoosung...and a friend. Um, can we come in?"

There's a pause. He could have just said your name, but maybe he wanted the moment to seem...friendlier? 

"Of course, anything for my favorite cousin." A slow, sweet voice calls out.

You swallow but your throat feels dry.

Yoosung opens the door and steps in to greet her, and your feet automatically follow his own without you commanding them. 

Your eyes land on her sitting on her bed, smiling up at her approaching cousin. Her golden hair with perfect curls cascade down her body, long enough that some of it was touching the mattress she sat on. When her emerald green eyes shifted from Yoosung, they landed on you. Her expression shifted to what you imagined "pleasantly surprised" looks like on her. It looked genuine. It looked real. 

"Oh, Yoosung. You _did_ bring a friend. My most cherished one too…" She says, smiling at you. Her face looked honest, the care in her eyes and the happy smile were different than anything she showed you in the past.

"Hi, Rika." You say. "You look good…"

"Oh, don't be so cold with me. I'm not going to imprison you or anything." She says with a laugh.

The air in the room turns to ice and the mood shifts immediately with that statement.

"Ah, too soon? My doctor said when someone goes through a traumatic experience, they're a lot healthier when they can finally laugh about it." 

"Noona, um, it's different if _she_ makes the joke...You can't decide it's time to laugh at something so serious so soon…" Yoosung tries to explain gently. 

"Well…" you begin, "it does save me time from awkward hello's and meaningless small talk…" Clearing your still dry throat you continue. "That's kinda what I wanted to talk about today. Er...um, a few other things too actually."

"And that's my cue to leave." Yoosung says, making an awkward face as he slowly backs out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Walking over to an empty chair near a desk your eyes leave Rika and glide around the small room. There's an area for her to write at, clearly she uses it as there are various papers and pens resting on the desk that is against the wall opposite to her bed. A few paper balls sit on the desk and you just momentarily wonder what she could have been writing. There is a small wardrobe next to the desk, decorated with a single framed photo of her and Yoosung. It was a recent photo, you could tell from the matching blonde hair and a shirt Yoosung got a month ago. You grab the chair and spin it to face the woman who has been silently watching you the entire time.

Sitting down, you sigh and meet her gaze. The afternoon sun shining through the windows highlights her features. She looks...peaceful. 

"Rika…" You begin hesitantly. "A part of me wants to ask if you regret it...or if you would take it all back if you could...but…" You fiddle with your hands on your lap, eyes bouncing about the room seeking the words you need to say. "I won't. Whatever you say won't actually be helpful, we can't change the past. So, I guess...I should ask this instead. Do you admit that what happened was bad? That keeping me trapped there wasn't okay?"

Rika's eyes lock onto your own and keep you there. "I wasn't expecting that. My doctor said I should be prepared for yelling or insu- "

"Rika, please." Cutting her off you try to make sure she stays good on that promise she made all those months ago. _Together, we'll both have the upperhand._ She wasn't in control here and neither were you. You had to work this out, together. "My questions, they need answers."

A sad smile forms on her lips and her eyes are still. "Mm. Yes, alright." She pauses, clearly thinking what to say. "...Yes, I'll admit it. It was bad. It wasn't okay. My intentions…" she stops a moment before correcting herself, "My intentions are not the topic here...but my _actions_ are." Her mind mulling over probably numerous conversations with her doctors, repeating things she has heard or said about this very topic. "Taking away someone's freedom when they want it is unfair. I admit it, what happened there...what happened at Mint Eye. It was wrong to do that to you." 

She reaches a hand out towards you and you flinch away before her palm could reach your cheek. Sadness flashes quickly in her eyes and she slowly pulls her hand back, instead using it to comb through her long hair.

"You've heard all my excuses before. I won't say them again because they don't matter anymore. What's done is done. You're right that I cannot change the past, and I can never take back what I stole."

Silently you watch her speak. Maybe it's rude to think, but you can't help but see why she was so successful at becoming "Savior". Rika, as complicated as she is, was magnetic and fascinating. Even when held as a hostage, you couldn't help but want to just hear her speak. 

"I tried to keep you all to myself." She continues with a sad laugh, still stroking her hair slowly. "You may not see it, but I promise you that everybody else does. You're like the living embodiment of love."

"Love?" You ask, now suspicious. "What do you mean? Listen, if you're trying to trick me or something, I'll leave right now." You warn.

"Trick? Dear, have I not been anything but my most authentic self? Even at my worst? From the start, I've been open and honest with you. Not once did I lie or trick you, I mean it. I think...it was only when I saw you that I saw what _actual_ love could be like." She says with eyes looking deep into yours.

"You're saying you love me?"

"Mm, in a way, yes. But not in the way you think. Not in the way a woman loves her partner, no. Not the way I loved V...it's different, but I know it is love." She tries to clarify, but not making it any more clear. She's always like this, speaking so vaguely that she may as well only speak in riddles or something.

"What you had with V wasn't love." You say sternly and perhaps a bit too harshly.

"V didn't love _me_ , but _I_ certainly loved _him_...It was the same for you, right? That's why you're here, isn't it?" She asks slowly, as if talking to a scared animal that might run. 

"V? Love? No no no, there is nothing like that between us. I...I can't describe it, but it definitely isn't love." Trying to articulate the feeling wasn't easy for you, and it was especially difficult when the man's ex-fiancée is right in front of you.

"Oh? Sorry, I was under the impression you were both together. If anyone could make him happy, it would be you." She smiles wide. She was right about always being her most authentic self...if she said it, she meant it. She only said what she truly felt and that fact alone was scary enough. Her kindness was honest and true, but you weren't sure you could ever return it to her.

"I have no intention of being someone's bottle of happiness...V is off traveling and I'm moving on with my life. If there's anyone I want to make happy, it's myself." You sigh. "You know, you kind of remind me of Jumin."

She looks thoroughly shocked at the statement and her hand pauses mid-brush. She stares for a moment and drops her hand onto her lap and laughs. "Jumin Han? You mean THEE Jumin Han?" Another laugh, fuller than the one before. "How am I anything like Mr. Perfect Businessman, Jumin Han?"

You can't help the smile that tugs at your lips. "You're honest and true to yourself. Um, maybe "ambitious" isn't the most _appropriate_ term, but it certainly is accurate…" Rika laughs continue and you almost join her, but your chest squeezes painfully and causes you to hesitate before you finish.

"And...you're sad." Her laughter ends quickly with a sharp gasp. "Really sad, and very lonely…" Sighing, you look into her eyes again. "Rika. Listen, I'm still working through what happened. It's hard. It was a lot. But I can't bring myself to hate you. Because I know that you did as much good to the world as you did bad. I won't _ever_ forgive you, but I don't resent you." You stand up and her eyes follow yours as you rise, looking glassy and full of sadness. "I think that we all still need more time to heal. I hope...I hope your loneliness doesn't haunt you as much as it did before." You swallow, remembering when she confided in you late at night in her chambers at Mint Eye.

Just as you step towards the door you hear her voice once again, thicker than before from the tears she likely will begin to cry. "And what of Jumin's loneliness? Or your own? What will heal that?" She is loudly pleading with you, not-so-subtly asking you to come up with a cure to her own loneliness.

Hand wrapped around the doorknob and standing still, you actually question that for the first time in your life. _What will I do about my loneliness?_

"I...don't know...but, I know I'm not alone. I still have the RFA and we all have each other. We'll overcome this. Together." You say finally as you turn the doorknob and open the door, keenly aware that there is still more you want to say but you can't bring yourself to see her even a moment longer. "Goodbye Rika...I'll...see you again soon…"

You hear some mix between a shocked gasp and a whimper from her as you close the door and walk away. Yoosung sat against the wall and looked up at you with a worried expression.

"Noona, hey, are you ok?" He jumps up and wraps an arm around you. "You're crying, was it that bad? I heard laughing so I thought it was going well…"

Only just now aware of the tears falling down your face, you use the back of your hand to wipe them away. "Sorry, Yoosung. Thank you. I didn't realize how emotional I got at the end there." Walking together with him guiding you, you let out a slow breath. "It went...ok. I think? Maybe it's too soon to tell. I'm not sure how, but I don't think I'm done yet...will you…" You trail off, hoping he'll understand your unspoken request.

"Of course! Anytime you need me here, just let me know. I come here every other weekend usually, but I didn't have class today so it was perfect."

Walking out of the building, Yoosung looks at you again. "Rika mentioned Jumin-hyung. Why was that?"

Watching traffic pass by and busy people walk down the sidewalk you are reminded that the present is missed by those caught in the past. 

"I brought him up. I think...Jumin deserves a little break, no?" Looking at Yoosung you smile wide. "Poor Jaehee had to try and stop him from another crazy cat idea. He works so hard, why don't we try to get him something to cheer him up?"


	3. Something new

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the RFA party drawing near, everyone is excited. You hit a wall when you are faced with trying to convince a guest Jumin suggested, and you're shocked to hear Jumin's solution.

\- Five months later - 

> You: I can't believe it...the party is next month!!
> 
> ZEN: Almost there!
> 
> Jaehee Kang: It is very exciting.
> 
> 707: We should have a prize for "Who Proposed Most Guests"
> 
> Yoosung ☆: Sevennnnn that's not fair! You invited furniture in your house, of course you would win!!
> 
> 707: Hehehe >.0 gotta plan ahead, Yoosung my boy!
> 
> Jumin Han: Luciel is right. Planning ahead is important. 
> 
> And if there should be a prize regarding party guests, it should be reserved for those our coordinator approved of. 
> 
> ZEN: -_- You're only saying that because then  _ you'd  _ win.
> 
> Jumin: Maybe you should have planned better.
> 
> ZEN: This jerk!!!
> 
> You: ahem! 
> 
> If there is a prize it should be for  **me** ! I organized the guests 
> 
> T_T some of them were really hard to convince too! 

Leaning back in your work chair you laugh at the banter between your fellow members. Things were good. Really good. The party was just around the corner and nearly all the guests were confirmed. The venue was selected months ago and you were waiting on a confirmation email from the catering company Zen recommended. Organizing decorations and set up were your priority now, along with the auction.

An email notification forces you to sit up and exit the chat with a simple reminder for everyone to remember to eat lunch. 

The job was challenging at times, but the fun you had greatly outweighed any burden you ever felt. Working with everybody was so easy and it has been a year and a few odd months since you first met them, but it has felt like you've known them all your life. The RFA had quickly become so much more than a charity party, it was like a family. If anything, it was more of a family than your real one. Considering everybody's lives, this was true for many of the other members. 

Despite a rocky period, the RFA was growing and healing. And so were you. You had the occasional nightmare, but they were rare now. You visited Rika more. Each time Yoosung was with you and kept you sane before and after each visit. The others knew you visited her and you almost kept it a secret until you saw the hurt in Yoosung's eyes for forgetting the promise you all made. No one else visits her and you certainly can't blame them. After everything that happened, it's surprising that you're still going to see her at all. It gave you a sense of control you felt you lost those eight days at Mint Eye.

Opening the new email, you sit back in your chair and try to think of how to win them over. It was a guest Jumin recommended, some wealthy business woman in another country he met some years ago who he thought could be good for funds. The problem was she wanted to meet in person. This weekend. It was Tuesday afternoon, you never planned a trip on such short notice before - you're certain your bank account isn't prepared for that either. 

Jumin's voice rang in your ears.  _ If there is ever a particularly difficult guest in my field, don't hesitate to ask for tips. I cannot offer advice for guests in science or the arts - that's best for Luciel and Zen. _

Jumin wouldn't offer anything if he didn't mean it...but you'd rather see if you can convince her to meet over Nyoom instead. 

...Five minutes later she says Friday evening will be a good time for you both to share dinner together at some restaurant you couldn't even pronounce…

Waving a small white flag, you pull out your phone with a sigh.

> You: Jumin! Give me a call when you have a chance. I have a tricky guest you recommended and I need some advice. Pls help Mr. King of Business!!!

Only moments later your phone buzzes and his contact shows up on your screen.  _ More like the King of efficiency. _

"Jumin! You're so fast!" You greet enthusiastically.

"You caught me at a good time. What sort of troubles are you having?" He cuts straight to the point. Calls with any of the other members are still casual and friendly when you are supposed to talk about the party. Jumin was a busy man, he made that very clear. Idle chit-chat with him was rare, but even he would call to - as he likes to say since Seven taught him - "kill time" occasionally. 

You explain the situation and Jumin hums for a moment. "Ah, wait one moment, please." It sounds like he lowers his phone and you can distantly hear his voice continue to speak, addressing someone else in the room with him. Something about proposals and meetings. "We can make this work." He says finally after a minute.

"Oh? How so?" You sit up, pen ready and notebook open.

"As chance would have it, I happen to be meeting with potential clients in the same city on Friday. You'll join me on my flight and can meet with her on your own. Assistant Kang is letting the pilot know about the additional passenger right now."

Standing up and not entirely sure you heard him correctly you turn the volume up on your phone. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there, speed racer."

"I don't race cars, but Driver Kim used to." He replies plainly, not joking.

"Jumin, it's an expression meaning that you're progressing things too fast and with very little explanation - leaving room for confusion, so it's a way of saying that I need you to "slow down". What's happening?" You explain knowing that he'll add the phrase to his vocabulary now that you clarified.

"I see. Alright, let me explain. You will be joining me this weekend. I have a weekend long trip planned to renew a partnership with some long-time associates who are based in the same city. As you need to be in that same city on the same day, I am making arrangements to accommodate you. I've already got the confirmation for your hotel room, I'm emailing it right now." A notification from your desktop dings. "Oh, it seems my moment of peace is over. Assistant Kang just walked in with a large stack of papers. Driver Kim will pick you up on Thursday night. We'll get there early Friday morning. Make sure to eat lunch. Goodbye."

Staring at your phone in disbelief you question just  _ how _ in the world does his mind work. Shaking your head and sitting down again, you let the potential guest you look forward to meeting her and ask if her six-legged dog will be joining them at dinner. 

-

She greeted everything with child-like wonder. It was clear  _ his _ normal was profoundly different from  _ her _ normal, but very rarely did that seem to be the case. She was very good at connecting everybody through their similarities rather than highlighting their differences. And she was  _ very _ different.

"Oh wow!" She breathes. "Jumin, look how beautiful the ocean looks at sunset. Wow…" Her eyes scanning the water below them, face close to the window, and arms pressed against its frame holding her steady. 

His eyes returned to the documents in front of him. "Yes, it is quite a sight to behold." He says.

"Jumin~, you aren't even looking." She playfully pretends to pout. 

"I am busy." He replies without looking up and one hand gestures at the papers he's holding.

"Oops...sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." She slides down to sit and brings her hands to her lap. 

Now glancing up, Jumin eyes her and gives her a confused look. "I'm not bothered, what makes you say that?"

"Ah, well…I thought that you were telling me in a polite way that my talking was interrupting you from working." She says with a guilty expression.

"If I was bothered I would tell you. You weren't interfering with anything. It takes quite a lot for me to get upset, make sure to remember that. This is your first time flying, please enjoy it as much as you can." His eyes drop down to the papers once again after she beams at him for essentially giving her permission to continue fawning over the view.

Her energy was infectious, but at some point even she tires eventually. Usually, on late night flights he would continue working with the overhead light on, but this time he decided to follow in her footsteps and drift to sleep before their arrival.

-

Almost as soon as her eyes opened, her excitable nature sprung up. Greeting him with a smile and yawn, she stretches in her seat. Jumin had woken up about an hour earlier, he wanted to review his documents since he didn't have a chance to last night. 

"Good morning. Now that you're awake, the attendants will bring breakfast. They'll be here momentarily. Where is my pen?" Jumin looks around the small table and around the floor near his feet.

"This one? Ah, it has your name engraved on it, of course it's yours." She says in a sleepy voice as she hands him a pen that was under her own feet. "Are we almost th- Oh wow…" Her attention was caught by whatever was visible out the window, immediately distracting her. "Cities look so small from up here...this is amazing. How far up are we?" 

"About 39,000 feet or 11 plus kilometers. We're also traveling at approximately 700 miles per hour, or 1,100 kilometers per hour, ma'am." A voice says with no hesitation, causing her to turn and face the attendant standing with a notepad in hand. "Good morning Miss. It is a fabulous view. We will land in an hour, may I offer some breakfast while you wait?"

"Oh, um…" Excitedly squirming in her seat she is either trying to find a response to the new information the attendant told her or she was trying to think of what to order. Jumin gave her a glance, a show of unspoken approval that she smiled at. "Yes, thank you. You're so sweet. Um...what do you have?"

Always so friendly and cheerful, Jumin could tell his usual flight attendant was smiling differently than before.  _ She does have a tendency to bring out true smiles when fake ones are typically worn. _ He thinks silently to himself. 

The remaining hour went by smoothly and the plane landed without issue, Jumin felt prepared for his upcoming meeting. Despite how early it was, he could tell she wanted to talk a lot. It looked as though she was waiting for a pause in his work before speaking to him directly. She may lack the years of etiquette training Jumin was raised with, but she was always polite and considerate. 

Just before he could open his mouth to ask what was on her mind, he heard her voice. "Jumin, smile!" And then he heard the sound of a phone camera.

Jumin turns his head to look at her. "Pardon?" She has her phone turned towards them and a small peace sign (she did the pose often in photos with Zen) and a smile, ready to take another selfie with him. "Oh, a photo."

"Jumin~, smile! I'm going to put this on the messenger when we arrive so they all know we're safe!" Her fingers move across the screen. "Here, let's do a filter with cat ears, it'll be super cute." She says in a singing voice.

"Zen will be upset." He pauses a moment. "Yes, a selfie with cat ears sounds good." He remarks as he looks towards the camera, giving his usual business smile.

"C'mon Jumin, not your fake smile." She catches him red handed, able to detect subtle changes in all the members and Jumin is no exception from her expert eyes. "Smile like you mean it. Please~"

"But I have nothing that makes me want to smile."

"Mm...think about how mad Zen will be when he sees it." She says with a laugh, striking a pose again.

Before he could stop it, a small smile crept onto his face at the thought of teasing the fellow member and there was the sound of the camera immediately. She was terribly good at getting her way in the end.

"Perfect! You look so adorable Jumin." She says, beaming at him and shifting in her seat to prepare for exiting the now grounded plane.

She said farewell to each of the attendants and thanked them, leaving the plane with a much brighter feeling than Jumin had ever left it. She excitedly greeted Jumin's security team and chauffeur, leaving each person smiling as she walked by. Truly a unique presence that would have been best utilized in business, unfortunately she has no interest in the field. Jumin tried recruiting her often, each time she declined politely, citing her dedication as party coordinator as the job she prefers.

Sitting in the car, Jumin details his itinerary and tells her that she will be accompanied by two of his security guards at all times.

"It sounds like you have no free time, Jumin. Is that normal? I always assumed you had at least a free morning or afternoon during your trips." 

He hums. "You're right, I usually do. This time it will require me to be focused on closing the deal for two full days. They are very lively and have planned quite a busy weekend…" 

"I see...I know you'll be busy as soon as you have dinner with them, but is there a chance that before you go do that...you could give me tips for my meeting?" She says with caution and likely trying not to take too much of his time.

"You should rest for a bit when we arrive at the hotel. You may not notice it now, but flying is quite an exhausting activity. We can meet for lunch, but that is all the time I can spare." 

She responds with a small cheer of success. He leans back in his seat and listens to her chatter as they make their way to the hotel. When they arrive, she gasps and marvels at everything. Still talking excitedly even as they part to their separate rooms down the hall from each other, waving at him and promising to join him for lunch as she closes her door. 

Jumin releases a sigh and his chief of security glances at him. "She is quite energetic, sir. I'm amazed you could keep up with her." 

"Keeping up with her? Hah, I think that's a generous phrase. She doesn't give anyone an opportunity to stray behind." A deep, slow inhale and exhale. With a chuckle he remarks, "Typically I need time to recover my wits after such a long flight, but it seems that I'm in better shape than when I entered the plane. I'm feeling unusually refreshed." 

Using his free time, he continues working to prepare for his weekend long business meeting. He doesn't even notice time pass and only notices that he's been working when his security informs him that she was waiting for him at his door. 

Jumin knew there was something immensely interesting about her since they first interacted in the RFA messenger over a year ago. She was strange. She was  _ very _ strange. Something about her draws people towards her. Like a strong magnetic pull, the RFA and likely every person she meets gravitate to her.

He watched her as she spoke, holding up papers on the potential guest and topics she knew were taboo and those that would earn the woman's acceptance. When her eyes caught his, he remembered a saying about them being windows into one's soul. He tried to read deeper into her eyes, not sure what exactly he was looking for. He watched how her hands moved a lot as she spoke, the faces she made when weighing potential outcomes, the subtle movements she makes when listening to him. Before long, lunch ended and Jumin shifted his attention back on his work. 

He doesn't see her again until the evening before they leave to return home. Standing in his hotel room near the wall length glass windows, she tells him about her meeting and how she spent her free time during the remainder of her time in the city. When she asks about his meetings, he tells her it went well and that they accepted his proposal. Pouring himself a glass of wine that she already declined, he sits back in a chair near her.

"Wow! Congratulations on the deal!" She says with small claps. "Proud of you!" 

"Proud?" Jumin repeats with a raised eyebrow looking at her over his wine glass as he takes a sip.

"Yes! You did a good job, you deserve to be praised for it." She looks at him with another full, genuine smile. It's infectious and causes him to chuckle.

"I don't think I've been praised and told someone was proud of me for closing a deal since my  _ first _ one." Thinking back fondly at the memory. "My father told everyone he could get to listen…"

"You deserve to hear it more often, Jumin. And not just from your dad." She says as her gaze shifts from him towards the skyline. "I do mean it when I say it. You make me very proud, I'm glad to have someone like you in my life." Her fingers lightly glide across the glass walls as she speaks, tracing some unknown pattern. "It's good you got that deal tonight."

Jumin blinked a few times, unable to stop from staring at her. Her body turned away from him, the moonlight reflecting off her figure and highlighting her beauty.  _ Has she always been so breathtaking? _ When the silence drags on too long she turns her head to look at him and with an apologetic look says, "Sorry, too sentimental, right? I'm sure it caught you off guard." Smiling at him again she pivots away from the glass. "It's late, I should get to bed. Don't stay up too late, Mr. Han." She teases him with a wink.

As she walked towards the door Jumin started to regain his senses and called out to her. "Thank you, and good job securing the party guest. I'm proud of you." He mimics her and when she looks back at him she crinkles her nose and tosses her head to laugh, then thanks him again and wishes him a good night.

The exchange sat on his mind all night. There was something stirring in him, a confusing mixture of familiar yet new. He thinks back to the dinner he had. One of the men told him that distractions make for bad business, and Jumin agreed. 

_ Is that what she is? Distracting? _

He mulls the thought over, letting it settle in his mind before deciding that, yes, she was very distracting. 

_ I'll have to cut back on the time I spend with her. _ He thinks with some twitch of an unfamiliar sensation in his chest. It is quickly extinguished when his phone buzzes with a notification from her.

> "I like spending time with you, we should do it more often."

Despite what he had told himself just mere moments earlier, his thumbs betrayed him and sent a reply. 

> "I agree. I look forward to it." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like writing from Jumin's perspective but since I love Jumin so much I also like writing how we see him. Which is exactly why I jump between perspectives! Next chapter is when we start getting some fluff and budding romance! Woo!


	4. Living in bliss(ful ignorance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a dumb crush. Its harmless. You almost blew it in front of the man once, but it wouldn't happen again...you hope.

"Yoosung, I have a secret." You confess as you help him with his face mask. Sitting in your apartment late at night, you're glad the others have left already. You hosted a small meeting in your living room to discuss the party. It was night now and Yoosung originally stayed back to just chat more about something for a moment, but you somehow ended up doing face masks together after hours of talking.

He makes a face. "Hey, we're not supposed to have secrets!" He pouts and crosses his arms disapprovingly.

"I know, I know." You say adjusting the headband pushing his bangs back and away from his face. He sat on the floor with his back against your couch holding a pillow. Zen made a comment once that even though Jaehee was the only other woman in the organization, Yoosung was better at girl talk than her. You called him sexist for the comment and told him that he should try to be more in touch with his feminine side, or else he'd be a bad boyfriend to a woman he couldn't talk to honestly. You never saw him so deflated from a comment. "It isn't like the ones before though, I promise."

"Is it bad?" He asks with worried eyes.

"It's...different. I wouldn't say  _ bad _ , but it is very hard to ignore." Looking away from his eyes, your face begins to warm and your heart speeds up slightly. "I feel like you're the only one I can trust. It's about Jumin…" you trail off. He is always so good at knowing what you mean, so you hope he can save you from having to outright admit it.

"Jumin-hyung? What is it? Is he in trouble? Did something happen during your trip? Are you okay?" He asks the questions too fast for you to respond and he leans forward trying to look at your eyes.

"No no no, nothing bad, remember? I just...oh man…" You want to cover your face with your hands but the facemask you're wearing stops you, forcing you to nervously fiddle with your hands in your lap as you grow even more embarrassed. "I never said it outloud before - ahhh!!" You squeal and wiggle in some form of giddy frustration. You still can't help the excited energy fueled by talking about your dumb crush to a friend.

He gasps. "No way...Do you…?" 

"Yes!!" Tightly closing your eyes you admit it loudly.

"...Like Jumin-hyung?!" He gapes at you.

"Yes, ugh! Oh my god! Please don't make me say it outloud, I think I'll pass out if I do!!"

"Noona, you  _ like _ like Jumin-hyung?!" 

With a groan you fall back to dramatically lay on the ground. "I have for a while actually...I tried to ignore it, but when we were together on that trip a week ago I said something  _ soooooo _ embarrassing! I thought I messed up and that he would be upset with me, but when he was here this afternoon he seemed perfectly fine…" you end with a sigh. "There is no way he doesn't know already though, I totally blew it - I'm such a creep!! Ugh!"

Sitting up again, you explain what happened and how embarrassed you are and Yoosung gives you a sympathetic pat on your shoulder as you hang your head down.

"I've known Jumin for a while now and I'm 97.5% sure he didn't pick up on your feelings from that." He says when you finish.

"That's oddly specific, where did you get that number?" You ask with a laugh, grateful your blond friend was trying to cheer you up.

"Well, I can't be 100% sure, but knowing Jumin-hyung he probably totally missed it. I think he can only tell when someone likes him if they're doing business." He gives you a reassuring smile. "So, um, are you gonna t- "

"There is no way I'm telling him, Yoosung! I'd die of embarrassment because he doesn't feel the same way!" You shudder at the idea of you confessing to him.

"Hey, you never know! Jumin-hyung is human too, he has feelings...I think." He pauses a moment. "Ah, or not." He makes a face. "Out of everybody in the RFA, I think Jumin is the only one physically incapable of having those kinds of feelings…"

"So, now do you see why it's a secret?" You look at him hoping he understands your secret is truly different from the ones before.

"Ugh, Noonaaaa!" He whines, tossing his head back and groans. "I hate secrets...promise me this won't snowball." He snaps his head up and looks at you with serious eyes. "I need to know that this won't get out of control."

"I promise to prevent any avalanches with such a small snowball, Yoosung." You say with a soft smile. "Just a simple crush, it'll go away soon. I've dealt with this before."

He sits forward, clearly very interested. "Ooo~ do tell. I want to hear how many times you've gotten a broken heart  _ and _ the number of hearts you've broken!" He says with a smile.

Rolling your eyes you internally breathe a sigh of relief that Yoosung isn't mad at you and that your secret is safe with him. There was a question that hung in the air, unasked and unanswered. 

_ What about V? _

-

Starting only a week after the party ended, she kept true to her previous proposal to Jumin. She made herself a more common appearance in his life, even if only seeing her in passing while she dropped documents off to Assistant Kang at her desk. She was fairly consistent and continued to be for months. 

She was calling and texting him more frequently now. There was the occasional shared lunch, but she always insisted that he accompanied her, and each time she introduced him to something new - it was fascinating. She never accepted his offer to treat her to lunch, she was very strong willed and dedicated to educating him about commoner's food. He has shared a lot of strange meals with her, but he enjoyed each one. He was amused by her presence even in the smallest of places. There was a document she needed him to sign once and she had a purple cat-shaped sticky note with a message on it: thank  _ mew _ ! Then there was what looked like a poorly drawn cat.  _ How charming _ , he thought to himself as he wrote a reply on the note after signing the document: The  _ prrrrivilege _ is mine.

He felt a particular closeness with her, both emotionally and physically as she would always stand close enough to brush a hand against him or hug him faster than he could decline. Not that he ever would. She was very open and vocal about her opinions, a trait Jumin valued as a pragmatist and as a man who frequently had difficulties reading the more subtle social cues most employees around him gave. She was quick to tell him if he said something rude or if he was coming off too harsh, especially if it had anything to do with Assistant Kang. Although she didn't spend a significant amount of time criticizing him, it was more likely the time she spent with him was full of amusing stories or teaching him something new. 

He preferred teaching her. As enjoyable as it was to learn from her, Jumin found that her reactions to things that seem practically mundane to him were far more fun. Her highly conserved upbringing and modest lifestyle made most of Jumin's day-to-day life seem foreign to her, but - like always - she did an excellent job of connecting than highlighting what differences existed between the both of them.

"I love hanging out like this, Jumin." She said once. Lying on her back in the snow with pink cheeks and nose, her words almost visible in the puffs of air escaping from her mouth. The slowly and silently descending light snow fell into her hair and framed her face, giving her the appearance of what he'd imagine a true snow angel would look like. 

Starfished out in the snow beside her, he stops making the snow angel she only just commanded him to make and turns to look at her smiling at him. "That was quite unexpected." He says slightly caught off guard. She does this to him sometimes. It is rare that he feels surprised or experiences something he didn't expect, but she was always so good at it.

Laughing for reasons he doesn't know, she turns her head to look up at the cloudy sky above them and watches the snow continue to fall. "I'm just saying that it's fun being with you, silly. Even though you're a weirdo who tried to calculate how far to move your arms and legs to make a perfectly symmetrical snow angel."

"I'm a weirdo?" He lifts a curious eyebrow at her lighthearted tease.

Another laugh escapes her lips and despite the fact that he was surrounded by snow, he felt himself beginning to warm up and his heart beat a little louder - were those the beginning signs of hypothermia?

"Yeah, you totally are. But that's why I lo- I mean, that's what's fun about you, y'know?" She sits up and turns her face from him. "Hanging out with friends is always fun."

"I have fun too. I don't remember the last time I had an afternoon to play in snow." 

"Jumin," she turns back to him and gives him a playful smile. Her face is much more pink than before - she was probably warming up like him from being in the cold for so long. "You said that already. We should do things like this more often. Whenever you're free, anyways." 

"Yes, but next time we should have that snowman making contest. I know the only reason you said no was because mine would be better." He quips with a small smile of his own.

She giggles and takes a single glove off to offer up her pinky. "Fine, I promise next time we can have a contest. But  _ only _ if you're the one actually making the snowman, okay?"

Removing a glove of his own he obeys and wraps his pinky finger around hers. "It'll be a fair contest that I have no plans of losing." He says confidently. 

When they leave, she convinces him to eat ice cream with her - saying that ice cream actually tastes better in the winter than in the summer. Jumin disagreed but cherished the peaceful moment of them sitting side-by-side inside a chilled ice cream shop, laughing when she gets a brain freeze for eating too fast and teaching her a trick to get rid of them. He definitely enjoyed spending time with her.

Of course, she also spent a lot of time with the other members - not just him. He was certain that she wasn't playing favorites. Although Luciel complained he was the one who saw her the least, she reminded him that he always turned down her offers so she had no sympathy for him. If anything, she spent the most time with Zen and Yoosung out of any of the members. The trio often went on outings, posting group selfies to the messenger of their adventures. It was entertaining to read stories they told about ways Zen embarrassed himself, or Yoosung whining about minor inconveniences, or when she talked about how they all got lost and spent hours looking for a destination that was right in front of them the whole time. These escapades were probably every other week or so, but it never interrupted her work. Her dedication to preparing the party was unmatched, even compared to Jumin.

A few months after the party, they all decided that they should have another around the same time next year, and Jumin again admired her ability to keep the group motivated. New guests have been suggested and new ideas have sprung up. Assistant Kang mentioned recently that these past few months have also helped C&R, noting Jumin's increase in productivity and success in making deals. 

It has been about four months since she suggested hosting another party and Assistant Kang was right after she handed him a report. The numbers didn't lie, and it was clear that since the party there was a steady and gradual increase in his productivity that he didn't even notice. 

Things were good. They were great. Nearly perfect.

Yet something still felt... _ off _ . Jumin was satisfied, yes. How could he not be? Nearly all the previous worries that plagued the organization years prior have shrunk considerably. V was still traveling, he posted in the messenger that he was now on his way to El Salvador. Something about a man in the mountains that could help him tap into his spiritual side and make something called  _ pupusas _ . Rika was no longer a threat and the legal problems have more or less all been solved. Justice was swift, thankfully. He tried not to think about Rika. He visited her once. He said nothing as he listened to her speak, and left no more than three minutes after he arrived. There was nothing he had to say to her that she didn't already hear in court, that was the last bit of closure he needed. Of course, there seems to be remaining pieces of the puzzle missing, but Jumin doesn't know what they could be. It doesn't haunt him as it did before, he decided that it was best he focus on the matters before him.

Everyone was safe. They were healthy. Things were good again and people were happy. Jumin was too, but there was still  _ something _ . Threads wove around him slowly. They didn't pull or squeeze, they sat limp on his shoulders, but they were still there. 

Sitting on his bed late one night, mindlessly petting the snow white fur of his companion he spoke aloud to his empty room. "What is it that I'm searching for?" Elizabeth the 3rd chirps and his eyes lower to her small body. Elizabeth the 3rd was doing what he was told was a "cat loaf". Or was it "loafing"? 

As if reading his mind, the very one who taught him the term showed up on his screen. She was...strange.

"It's you." He says when he answers.

"Oh! You picked up so fast, haha! Hi, Jumin!" She greets with her usual excited energy. Still so strong even late at night.

"Hello. You're calling very late. To what do I owe this honor?" 

He hears her snort a laugh on the other end. "Honor? I think Zen is rubbing off on you, Jumin."

"That's insulting to say." He half jokes.

She giggles and continues. "I wanted to ask you when you have some time off. There's a guest I need to meet in person."

"Ah, hoping we'll have another flight?" He asks sitting up and moving off his bed to look for his work phone.

"Oh, no. Actually they are just a 30 minute drive out of the city." She says quickly. "I wanted to have you come with me!"

"Zen or Yoosung couldn't join you?" He holds the phone between his ear and shoulder as he uses both hands to search for the device.  _ Where did I leave it? _

"Umm...I didn't ask them, I felt you would like this more than them." 

"So you require my expertise again?" Stepping away from his sleeping area, he walks towards his kitchen still looking around. 

"No no no, nothing like that. I just want you to come! Do I really need a reason?" Her cheerful voice hid nothing and was always honest. She pauses a moment. "Unless you're too busy or don't want to go..."

Finding the phone on the countertop, Jumin immediately goes to find his schedule only to remember that Assistant Kang was in charge of his schedule. He sighs.

"Oh, sorry, forget I asked. You're really busy I bet. It's fine, I can go. I just wanted to offer but I get you don't have time to kill." She keeps talking, but Jumin doesn't hear her over his own thoughts and interrupts her without knowing.

"I'll contact Assistant Kang in a moment about my availability. I'll get back to you as soon as she lets me know. I look forward to spending a day with you. It's late, you should rest."

There is silence and Jumin looks at his phone to make sure he didn't accidentally end the call. 

"Hello?"

"Oh! Sorry! Um, yes. That works for me. I was planning just an afternoon, but a date - I mean, um, a day would be better. It'd be fun...Ah, you're right too, it's definitely time to go to bed. Don't stay up too late Jumin. Talk to you soon, bye!"

That call was what led to their current outing. It was sunny and only a dozen or so fluffy white clouds scattered across the vast sky. He looked around once again and marveled at the sight before him.

They were in the middle of a giant flower field. It was expansive and the unpaved dirt walking paths curved with the natural rise and fall of the land, the occasional sound of bees passing from flower to flower. The sunlight bathed the fields, the flowers dancing softly as a gentle breeze passed through. The sound of song birds in the distant forest along the back edge of the field reached his ears. There was a faint scent of honey.

A quick yet gentle tug from the back of his shirt brought him back. He looked down and saw her hand lightly holding the fabric in her fingers and a soft smile on her face.

"Earth to Jumin. I've been calling you, but you were staring at the flowers." 

"This is quite captivating, I couldn't help but be lost in thought. You've been here before?" He moves and follows her as she walks.

"Mhm!" She says with a nod and stares ahead as she walks. "Just once and it was raining when I got here, it was beautiful then too. But!" She spins around to face him as she walks backwards. "Nothing can beat  _ this _ , right? It's even better with a friend! I've been wanting to come back here for a while, it's really so pretty here." She spins again and continues walking forward. 

They walk up a small hill and toward a modest wooden cart. She was here to convince a beekeeper to attend the party they will be hosting in about eight months. It was a guest she came up with on her own, they also worked the fields and she felt that buying local flowers from them would be better than some large-name florist. "I don't know much of anything about the economy, but at the very least it's important to help small, local businesses!" She said at the time. She was always coming up with fresh ideas.

He stood back and watched her as she spoke with the person behind the cart. Just as the moon reflected her elegance, the sun wrapped around her and showed Jumin again how beautiful she was. From the color of her skin, the texture of her hair, the shape of her face and honest smiles. Her eyes were captivating and her presence was refreshing. As she stood there surrounded by flowers under the sun, he felt that strange sensation in his chest again. 

Shaking his head he walks closer and hears the beekeeper speak, handing her a flower. "Dear, you're so young." The voice says to her sincerely. "Take it from me, live life in sweet bliss. Cherish every moment you can. I learned that lesson later in life, but I live by it as much as I can. That's why my honey is the best."

As they walk away from successfully convincing another guest to the party, she reaches up and places the flower behind his ear and runs her fingers through his hair. His heart begins to beat loudly with her so close to him and his face warms when her hands touch him. Unable to speak, he can't protest when she says he looks cute and she wants to take a picture - quickly taking a selfie with him before he regains his wits. She cheers and beams up at him, leaving Jumin to simply smile down at her. She turns her attention towards some large sunflowers down a different path and excitedly chatters.

But...his smile disappears and is replaced with a worried frown when he notices deep gray storm clouds in the distance. Living in bliss? Or was it blissful ignorance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was soooo fun to write! The flower fields were actually inspired by a real place (2 places combined actually). In northern San Diego, there is a gorgeous flower field not far from where I grew up. And I did a summer internship in Vermont and there was a place me and my friends went to go pick berries and they sold honey I still dream about years later...sigh.   
> Writing an aloof Jumin was fun! I know the man is smart but he is also so very dumb with his feelings lol. MAJOR spoilers for Zen's route in the next chapter! Also, pretty angsty...it hurt me to write it


	5. The storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Echo girl single handedly shook the RFA hard enough to spiral them into a new crisis. Things were bad enough with Zen trying to grapple with it all, and Jumin...seems different.

Things got bad. Fast. 

It started with an injury. Zen was supposed to work on a show he thought he could never score with the popular singer Echo Girl. Everyone was excited for him, he works so hard and it seems like he was starting to get the recognition he deserved. You cheered him on, making time to visit him to drop off healthy goodies and chat whenever you got the chance. Jaehee and Yoosung were equally as enthusiastic, the three of you looking forward to seeing Zen's performance. Plus, Seven was trying to find a way to get an autograph to sell online. It was all great. Until he injured himself after a particularly harsh argument with Jumin. 

Zen has a difficult time after that happens. Rehearsals were soon but he couldn't find it in him to tell the director about his injury. When you arrive at his home to cheer him up, he tells you about how difficult it has been trying to follow his dreams. You had never seen him look so beaten.

Zen, always the shining ray of optimism in the organization, seemed hollow and empty now. The usually sparkling eyes seemed darker and devoid of any life they previously held. That night he tells you about his family, what it was like to grow up, how he ran away, the struggles he faced, how V (and Rika - who he never talks about anymore) saved him, and that the RFA is a better family to him than his parents and brother were. You listen to him all night, silently stroking his back with your hand and offering encouraging nods as he tells you his stories. When he stops, you embrace him. Making sure to give him a full hug to squeeze his troubles out and he laughs when you say that. 

You offer him words of encouragement, and you assure him that his talent will be recognized and he will definitely get a role worthy enough for the sexiest man alive. Crashing at his place, despite the protests of many members, you rest for the night and leave Zen the next morning so you can get to work. There is still a party to plan!

You eat your lunch that afternoon but pause at an interesting, yet worrying conversation on the messenger.

> Yoosung☆: Do you think Jumin was serious
> 
> When Echo Girl came to him and screamed about getting revenge…?
> 
> You: I'm worried about Zen… 

Not long after the conversation ends, you see that Jumin ran out mid-meeting leaving Jaehee to clean up his mess. Citing a headache as the reason for his sudden departure, likely involving something to do with irritation about how his dad's new girlfriend is interfering with C&R business. The conversation takes an unexpected twist with Jumin complimenting your ability to help Zen grow up (his words). The compliment makes you think back to the conversation you had with Rika so long ago.  _ I have no intention of being someone's bottle of happiness _ . No. That isn't what Jumin was insinuating. Zen may be slightly happier, but it is on his own terms. You sigh heavily. After all the emotional lifting with V back then, you want to make sure you never become someone's "sun" or something. 

Jaehee and you both hope the Echo Girl threat is minor and that nothing comes of it. It is only a few hours later that you all regret not taking the woman's threats seriously.

Now Zen has been accused of sexual harassment and Jumin rumored to be gay. Not that the rumor about Jumin really impacted him emotionally…

They all do their best to work together to clear Zen's name. Mostly Seven and Yoosung, there is only so much you could do and Jaehee had to focus on the new troubles C&R were dealing with. This is when things really start to get bad. Although Jumin personally did not care about the rumors, the more conservative business associates Jumin works with pull away from C&R and things aren't looking good. A month passes and discussions about Echo Girl have died down after Seven gets some evidence to prove Zen's innocence, but the entire event has damaged everyone. 

Everyone feels it. Although Zen eventually picks up work and the others seem to settle down, work starts to pile on for Jaehee and Jumin. It is rare for them to come into the chat during the day and neither have any free time, so you can't visit anymore without feeling like a nuisance. You shoot them both encouraging messages and do your best to work hard on the party to make sure neither feel any excess stress or pressure. 

After a full day of negotiating with potential guests and organizing seemingly minor details that required  _ way _ too much paperwork, you leave the office and laugh to yourself when you think,  “Things may be bad now,  but at least I'm not being imprisoned in a cult. ” And again, your mind wanders to what Rika said the first time you saw her after the fall of Mint Eye. Maybe she was right. 

-

Everything was wrong. Every document, every meeting, every planned event, the pens, papers, coffee, people,  _ everything _ . Wrong, wrong, wrong.

"Jumin?"

There's a flash of light and his eyes spring open again.

"Oh, sorry, V. I was distracted. There's...a fairly rough thunderstorm passing over right now." Jumin says as he sighs. He is unable to stop from feeling the pressure of work weighing down on him, even when talking with his most cherished friend. "What did you say?"

"I was asking about you actually, but I can already tell you're having a difficult time." He replies in a kind tone.

"I will admit that it is not an  _ easy _ period for C&R right now. The whole fiasco I told you about earlier has left a lasting effect on all of us. I certainly never expected C&R to take such a heavy hit from such baseless rumors." Jumin is complaining. He rarely does it but if there is anyone he could complain to, it's V.

It certainly is not easy. It seems as though each morning he is greeted with a new problem and leaves with news that their attempts to solve it have failed. It has been four months straight. Four very, very long months. This is the longest single period that they've had nonstop problems. Not a single moment of peace. Sleep was becoming scarce and there is so little time in the day he could not pursue any of his fun personal projects. It is one of the few ways he relieves his stress, but he is too stressed and busy to do it. In truth, Jumin feels incredibly tired and he only felt it so much because this is a first where there is no end in sight. There is no knowing how long it will take to recover from all the losses. With each small success it was immediately followed by two large failures. That was the reality of the situation, but the last thing he wanted was pity...or for the man seeking self actualization to burden himself with Jumin's woes.

"I'm sorry that it happened, Jumin. Maybe I should send you some wine? I  _ am  _ in Italy. I got you that one bottle you really enjoyed during my last visit."

Jumin hums approvingly. "That sounds fine, thank you. Although, wine tastes much better when you share it with a friend." Jumin says, silently asking the question that none of the members feel comfortable asking.

"Ah, that is true...how about I send you a bottle now and then bring a different wine when I return? I want to comfort my hard-working friend even if I'm far away."

"It is rude to reject a gift, I suppose. Alright, I'll take a bottle." Jumin says and walks towards a chair. 

"Good, I'm glad. I hope the other members are helping out too." He says and pauses for a few moments. "I'm curious, Jumin…" he trails off.

Jumin waits, not entirely sure what his friend will say.

"How is she doing?"

Oh, he certainly did not expect him to ask that.

Jumin sits back in his chair and tries to recall the last update he received on her. "If I remember correctly, her condition is stable and treatment is going well. I haven't seen her in over a year, I can't speak to how well she looks, but Yoosung frequently visits her and s- "

"Jumin." V interrupts. "Thank you, but that's not who I'm asking about...You are taking care of her, so I know she's in good hands, but I've been thinking of her a lot and…" he trails off a second time.

A twinge of pain sparks for a brief moment in Jumin's chest and fades just as quickly. Of course he meant you and not Rika. 

Before he has a chance to reply, V says something to somebody else and tells Jumin that the meteor shower is about to begin as he has to leave. He ends the call before Jumin could say goodbye.

If you had heard him say that bit about taking care of you, Jumin knows you would have scolded V for having such outdated ideas about women. And you would be right, it was an old fashioned way of thinking. You weren't a domesticated animal or houseplant meant to be dependent on someone to care for you. No, you were far from that. You were strong yet kept yourself open, always approaching each member with the same level of empathy and kindness. Stubborn but not impossible to negotiate with. Free spirited and expressive, you meet each new encounter with a creative and unique perspective. Independent but never self sacrificing or determined to solve problems alone - likely a lesson learned from everything that happened with V.

And V...he didn't even know you. Did he love you? There is no way, he couldn't even speak about you in a way that was respectful. Was it happening again? Was he supposedly falling for a woman he truly did not know and taking her away…

Away? From who?

There was a flash of light that lit up the dark penthouse followed by a window rattling burst of thunder. Jumin only then was aware he was standing and gripping his fists tightly enough for it to hurt. Something overtook his body and wrapped around him, flooding the inside of him as fast as the pouring rain outside filled streets. It clawed and tore at him and painfully squeezed him from inside. He recognized it as guilt.

It has happened again. He has developed feelings for a woman V loves. Twice now. 

_ No, that can't be right. There is no way it has happened again _ . 

Jumin tries to collect his thoughts. Did he have romantic feelings towards you? Is that what it was? It was different from what he felt with Rika all those years ago. Then what was it? What on Earth was it?

His phone buzzed on the table and when he looked down he saw your contact show up. He had to glance around him, making sure you weren't secretly watching him.  _ How is it that she always knows when to call? _ He watched his phone continue to buzz, feeling storm clouds in his chest. They rumbled loudly when the call stopped and he only finally reached a hand down to grab it when he saw a notification for a new voicemail. 

When he pressed his phone against his ear, his body felt electric and his heart felt strong, yet was jumping weightlessly.

> "Hey, Jumin! It's me. You're probably sleeping, it's so late. Um, I just wanted to call and say that I miss you and hope that you have a good night's rest. Good luck tomorrow, proud of you."

When the message ended, an overwhelming sense of agony choked him.

No, it wasn't simply romantic feelings. It was love. He was in love with you. One hand gripped the chair beside him and the other dropped his phone as he clutched his aching chest. Jumin Han, for the first time in his entire life, was in love. He was in love with you. With your personality, your beauty, your kind spirit. When you spoke it gave him strength, when you laughed at his jokes he felt understood, when you smiled at him he couldn't help but do the same. He was always learning with you, there was no end to various topics you knew about and you continued to teach him new things each time. One of his favorite things was your laugh. Not the small or short ones, but the full bellied, genuine laughs. Although, the very sound of your voice alone was worth falling for you. And he was. He already had. He was so deeply, utterly, and entirely in love with you - he sees it now.

And he cannot have you. 

The threads that were previously resting around his body quickly grew taut and pulled him. They moved and tangled themselves up all around him. The storm outside rages on as Jumin slumps to the floor on his knees, and silently he begs for the storm to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( this was sad to write...i feel pretty guilty and i dont ease up on the man at all unfortunately. lmao when i first fell in love i cried because i was really unhappy about it because i DIDNT want to be in love. It was so dumb haha, love is wild


	6. A deeper (mis)understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting worse for Jumin. Nothing is easing up for him and you have no clue how to help him. It all blows up when a woman named Sarah appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it starts merging with Jumin's route! From here on, it will be canon dialogue with plenty of creative liberties for zest / to fit the story better. Since there is no Saeran acting as a hacker, I already had to change a bunch of things.

A month passes and Jumin still doesn't answer or return your calls, the only time you see him is in the messenger. It wasn't that he was outright ignoring you, he chats with you while the others are there, but he never stays for very long and he spends most of his time tormenting Zen. Yoosung knows you worry about him, but he also thinks that it is  _ just _ as a RFA member and not because of your feelings for him. You don't want to admit the truth to him, but it is also very likely he knows this. 

One night when you're unable to sleep from party planning in your head, you decide to check the messenger to see if Seven or Zen are up and will keep you company. Although it is late enough for even crickets to sleep, you see Jaehee and Jumin are both logged in.

> You: Jaehee! Jumin! I've missed you guys! 
> 
> Jaehee Kang: Missed us?
> 
> I was here chatting with you last night;;;
> 
> You: Lol
> 
> This is the first time in forever that both of you have logged on together!
> 
> Jumin Han: Impressive. I was not aware you kept a log of chat patterns of all the members.
> 
> You: ;;; jeez, now that makes it sound weird…
> 
> Jaehee Kang: I see what you're saying, and you're right. Today is a rare one...it seems like it is the first time in months that we have a moment to breathe. I think things will be easier from here on out.
> 
> You: How can you say that when it's so late;;;

You sigh, feeling thankful that they both  _ finally _ have a chance to decompress for a moment, even if it is only at...what time was it? 2:59...wow…

Even though everything was more or less back to normal for everybody else, it was nonstop work for Jaehee and Jumin. With the party only three months away, you were beginning to wonder if it would ever ease up.

> You: Jaehee, do either you or Jumin have any days where you don't have a business meeting over lunch? I haven't seen either of you in-person in  **months** !!! 
> 
> Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han does have a non-business related meeting this afternoon, but unfortunately neither of us have any free afternoons to spare.
> 
> Jumin Han: What do I have planned for the day?
> 
> Jaehee Kang: (1) Morning: meeting with the Cultured Citizens Organization
> 
> (2) Lunch: lunch with Mr. Chairman at Plaza Hotel
> 
> I hope you haven't forgotten. 
> 
> You: What an elegant schedule.
> 
> Jumin Han: ...
> 
> Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han.
> 
> Mr. Han.
> 
> Jumin Han:  **I have lunch with my father today?**
> 
> Jaehee Kang: Yes.
> 
> You: I think Jumin's a bit flustered.

It was obvious from early when you joined that Jumin's relationship with his dad was great...but that sometimes there were...difficulties. When you exit the chat you can't help but wonder how Jumin might see you, hoping that he didn't think of you with disdain like he does with the many girlfriends his dad dates. 

It seems Jumin thought of women in two categories: money hungry gold diggers or employees. So, where did that put you? It was clear Jumin didn't feel the way you did about him, there were no signs he treated you any differently than the other members. He must know you have no interest in vast amounts of wealth, you've turned down his offers to get you a  _ very _ well paying job, instead preferring what you do for the RFA full-time. So you weren't a gold digger. But he explicitly stated his dislike when you addressed him as "Mr. Han" once because you weren't his employee. You were both members, yes, but where in his two potential categories does that put you?

_ Where was Rika? _

You sat up in your bed, clutching your sheets to your chest. Of course, he has a third option you completely forgot about. 

Friend.

-

Jaehee was right, things were looking ever so slightly better. Or at least that's what you thought when you saw Jumin logged in while the sun was still out. 

Jumin and Seven go back and forth, with Seven teasing the bored and uncomfortable executive as he shared lunch with his dad. Jumin was seeking some form of an escape from his uncomfortable situation, clearly trying to ease his troubles.

> 707: Can it be Melanie?? Who made the pumpkin cake from her mother's recipe?
> 
> That would be so awesome!!
> 
> Jumin Han: Melanin? That reminds me of the skin cell that determines the color.
> 
> 707: No.
> 
> **Not Melanin, Melanie!!**
> 
> The winner of Mister Chef season N!
> 
> Jumin Han: Melly smelly.
> 
> 707: What.
> 
> What was that.
> 
> Jumin Han:  **A joke.**
> 
> 707: Then fail.
> 
> FAIL!!
> 
> Jumin Han: Pale?
> 
> 707: FAIL!!!!
> 
> You: ...haha.
> 
> Jumin Han: She laughed.
> 
> I'm glad.
> 
> 707: lolololol
> 
> Dude, stop. lol
> 
> Can't you tell she's just being polite? lol
> 
> Seriously…
> 
> Your jokes in this chat room aren't funny.
> 
> Jumin Han: ...

You frown at Seven's tease. Jumin has a peculiar sense of humor, and that one in particular was not as funny as previous one's he's made, but he was being overly critical of Jumin. It seems clear that Seven is more hyper than usual when the conversation turns towards Jumin's lack of interest in women, causing him to leave the chat without warning. After Seven leaves to finally get some much needed sleep after working for hours, you try to shift your thoughts away from Jumin and focus on writing this email to this Mister Chef Seven loves so much.

A few days pass and you're starting to see Jaehee and Jumin in the chat room more frequently during the day. Both were still busy and there was more work to be done, but their workload must have decreased considerably for them to finally join in while the others were online too. Feeling courageous a week after you notice them consistently coming more during the day, you finally give Jumin a call again and you're ecstatic when he finally doesn't deny your call. It feels like a victory to you.

"Oh, it's you. Just in time. I was thinking about the conversation I had with Zen. I want you to be very objective of me. I was born with many privileges, but I wouldn't have been able to keep my place if it weren't for my abilities. Ever since I was little I worked on my business tactics, analyzing skills, and decision making. I think I make a very good executive. As evidence, my department produces twice, three times the profit of other departments. So it's not logical to say that I don't deserve my position. I meet a lot of people who still make that mistake...But of course, they have nothing to do with me so I don't care."

Sitting in your office chair, you look out the window at the passing traffic below and nod your head before you realize he can't see you. "I don't think that. I think you try just as hard as everyone else." You say honestly. 

"I'm glad you understand. Many people refuse to objectively see the results I've given and judge me for my background. It's idiotic."

_ Is he...complaining? That's new. _ You think to yourself, pressing the end of a pen to your lips as you let him speak.

"Since we're talking about it...my father is the chairman of C&R, but he wouldn't have given me this position if I was incapable."

He continues on to talk about his dad and the great amount of respect he has for him, and you reach to organize some papers you just notice are in the wrong place on your desk.

"I don't care what the media or the public says about me. But it'd be annoying to have people around me think the same, so I hope you understand...but I especially don't want you to think so."

Your hand releases the paper it was holding and you feel your heart flutter a moment. Sitting up, you bring all your attention to his words. 

"It's funny that I'm telling you this...but I wanted to. I don't like people close to me misunderstanding things. If you have questions, you can ask them."

A hand presses against your chest in some attempt to calm your heart. "No, I don't. I trust you." You say after only a brief pause.  _ Close to him? So, he admits I'm close to him...but - duh, of course I am! Jeez! We're friends!! _ You shake your head and try to focus again.

"I'm quite impressed to hear that you trust me. I do hear it from others time to time, but you saying that is a bit more...Hmm, I don't know how to put it…Is it because you're a member of the RFA? Or...No. I'll have to think about this later. I'd like to talk more, but I'm afraid I'll say something strange. Let's talk again later. Have a good rest of the day."

When he ends the call you sit back in your chair silently. It was the first time in so long you heard his voice and  _ god  _ did you miss it. You tried to be as understanding as possible about how busy he was and give him space, but it was so hard to ignore just how badly you missed him. When was the last time you saw him in person? The last time you hugged him? Or heard his laugh? It had been so long. Too long. Jumping up you try to think of ways to get Jumin back to his old self and help him out. You pause for a moment and look down at your phone and can't contain a smile that grows. Your hands wrap around your phone and you hold it up in muted victory.

_ He said we'll talk again later! _

Sure enough, that same day you speak with him again. Unfortunately, it isn't for fun or idle chit-chat - it's about the sudden appearance of a supposed fiancée. Not that you were jealous, you were never the jealous type. But you couldn't help but feel...protective of Jumin. When he answers he sounds different from his usual self, it's worrying.

"Hello? It's you...I'm sorry, but this isn't a good time to call. I haven't organized my thoughts yet. My father...is not like he was before. He isn't this irrational...I feel complicated. No, I shouldn't be talking about this with you. I have to go. Please forgive my rudeness. Bye."

Your heart sinks a bit at his words. What did he mean by not talking about it with you? Did you do something wrong? Was it private information? But he said it himself, you were close to him - shouldn't one confide in their closest friends in times of trouble? 

You were friends, right? You felt so sure before, but now you also feel complicated. If that was his way of clarifying, it gave you a deeper understanding of where you stood with him. 

-

Two months go by and Jumin continues warring with his own dad. His dad is unyielding and Jumin is having a difficult time arguing with him for so long. Everyone tries to cheer him on when he logs in, but it hardly helps. Yoosung keeps "conveniently" adding in his two cents on the "arranged marriage" business, texting you a winky face after he leaves the chats. He was subtle to everyone but you.

Eventually, it became clear he was drawing more into himself and becoming increasingly distant from the members. You send Jumin a document to sign with the sticky notes he likes and write "You're the cat's meow!" And then add a separate sticky note detailing the meaning of the phrase. When it is delivered back to you, the sticky notes are gone and now you  _ really _ start to worry. The party is in two weeks and if V  _ and _ Jumin can't be present to help, things will be difficult. 

It only gets worse when a week later Zen logs in to talk about a weird dream he had.

> ZEN: I have something to tell you;;
> 
> I had a bad dream today…
> 
> I saw  **a woman crying after seeing my face** in my dream.
> 
> You: ...She must have been struck with awe at how handsome you are!
> 
> ZEN: lololol. That's so funny lolololol
> 
> But wait.
> 
> **Woman? ;;**
> 
> Did I say woman? ;
> 
> …
> 
> What the hell did I just type right now?? I just called that fur ball a woman;;
> 
> No way.
> 
> It's all that jerk's fault!;;
> 
> You: You mean Elizabeth was in your dream? You must secretly like cats. Lol
> 
> ZEN: No, I don't! It did appear in my dream but I don't like cats!!!
> 
> Anyways, back to what I was saying.
> 
> **In my dream, that fur ball was crying in the middle of a forest.**
> 
> You: That doesn't seem like a good dream.

After Zen talks about his potential prophetic dream and suggests that Glam Choi might be plotting to take Elizabeth the 3rd to force Jumin to marry her student, Jumin changes right before everyone's eyes.

Initially it began as a simple increase in security surrounding his apartment, but it got out of hand. Not only was security tight enough, but Jumin assured it was only him preparing for the worst then cancelled all his meetings for the next few days. Jaehee mentions that he spent a great deal of time shopping with Elizabeth, intent on not leaving her at home alone. Ignoring his responsibilities at work entirely, Jumin retreats further from them all. A countdown on your phone reminds you that the party is only a few days away.

-

A soft meow made him gaze sadly at the small creature he has trapped in his home. His fingers scratch behind her ears and he strokes her perfect white fur.

"You're only a cat…" He says to her out loud. "You can never understand my complicated feelings...and look at me with the same blue eyes as always." He moves his hand to pet along her spine. "Still, I decided that I would be satisfied with that. It's impossible for creatures of different species to completely understand each other."

Pulling his hand back, Jumin continues. "When my life is being all shaken up right now, I feel so empty...that I can't expect you to do anything other than just stare at me. And that emptiness always begs the question that I'd buried deep within. How much do we understand each other…?" Standing up, he looks down at his small companion as she chirps at him. "Maybe you and Rika weren't meant to be with me."

His eyes widened at his own words, surprised he finally said what he felt so deep down. He had already known he saw Rika in Elizabeth the 3rd - more or less projecting his feelings onto the cat, not that he would admit it to anyone. But he is shocked that he addressed something he never wanted to let himself question. 

His head hurts terribly bad. He has bad migraines so frequently these past few months, and he feels yet another one building behind his eyes. Closing the curtains and turning the lights off, Jumin finally sits down in a chair facing the large cage and holds his head in his hands. Elbows resting against his knees and learning forward, Jumin's mind is spinning and shaking. He had so much work to do. He's still upset with his father. Those women are probably still plotting and scheming to steal from him. 

He wondered what Atlas felt like. He remembers learning about the titan god as a young boy, the man was meant to carry the weight of everything on his back.  _ Is this how V felt? Like Atlas? _

Exhausted to his very core, Jumin sighs and his hands come to hold the front of his head where the painful sensation was beginning to develop. Opening a single eye, he sweeps it across the dark empty room closes it again when light spots enter into his vision. Feeling lonelier than ever before, Jumin sits in a horrid mixture between physical and emotional pain. Knowing full well it was midday, Jumin wonders how long this night of anguish will last.


	7. Day breaks at night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally arrive at Jumin's and see just how hard of a time he has had these past few months. When you're with him, you cant help but feel like its all a dream - but not even you could dream up something as dramatic as Jumin's life.

Everything is spiraling out of control, his entire world is crumbling apart as he knows it and his mind is broken. Whatever semblance of normality or stability in his life has long since vanished and all Jumin can do is watch as it gets worse and worse. He sat in that chair full of agony raging inside of him, the storm enveloped around him and swallowed him whole - all while Elizabeth the 3rd stared at him blankly.

Until he opened his eyes and saw pure daylight enter his home.

"I'm here, Jumin." You greet him with eyes clearly full of concern. "I hope I'm not intruding. I was worried about you so…"

It was immediate. The agony he felt so deeply it made his bones ache evaporated instantly at the sound of your voice.  _ Yes, her voice...her sweet, sweet voice… _

At the sight of you, his chest felt lighter and the pressure that suffocated his lunges lifted, and each breath that entered and exited from him tasted like freedom. Trapped in his own mind for months it was your presence that set him free. 

You were speaking but Jumin was still trying to fully comprehend the situation and only started hearing your words when the phrase "I can leave if you want" came up.

"No." He says quickly, regaining his senses. "It's just that I never expected you to come to my house. I feel a bit nervous...to actually see you like this." He confesses. The effect you have on him is so profound and before he used to scoff at Zen's ridiculous talk about "unleashing the beast"...but now he thinks he understands what he means a bit better.

The expression on your face indicates you don't pick up the meaning behind his words. It was for the best, that last thing he would want is to make you uncomfortable. "Although…" he continues, "I'm quite happy that you are worried for me." He pauses a moment and gives a tired smile. "Welcome to my home."

Your eyes pull from Jumin's and land on the large metal cage near him, finally seeing the results of Jumin's fear and erratic behavior. 

"Oh. Late introductions. This is Elizabeth the 3rd." He walks over to the cage and you approach beside him. "I put her in a cage for now."

The white haired beauty rubbed the side of her body along the cage and chirped at you excitedly. Kneeling down to pet her, you ask about the cage. Instead of properly explaining, Jumin says he'll talk about it later and switches the subject to proposing you rest at his home the remainder of the night. 

"Only if that's what you want." He says. "Just tell me what you want and I can provide you anything." When he looks at you, you can see just how terribly tired his eyes are. He gives you a small, weak smile - something you've never seen before. "...I never expected you to come, but now that you're here, I'd hate for you to leave."

"Alright, Jumin." You beam at him for the first time in months, making his heart squeeze tightly in his chest. "If that's what will help you, I'll happily accept." 

-

_ How did this happen? How on Earth did this happen?! I'm here. Here! In Jumin Han's home! What the everloving fuck is going on?! _

You're sitting on his couch with your back against an armrest and your legs stretched out along the cushions with your phone in one hand and your other over your mouth. Jumin was talking to his security guards, he was arranging for you to have sleepwear delivered along with your own toiletries and other basic necessities. He was very thorough and even asked about if there were feminine hygiene products or medications you needed as well. Even at his worst, Jumin remained as diligent as ever. 

He actually spends most of his time talking with them than you, making you question if your presence was making him uncomfortable and regret coming so late. After over an hour of him talking with the men, you bring your attention to Elizabeth. Petting her through the metal bars, you talk about your day and the emails you sent, trying to find comfort with the small cat in a very awkward situation. 

"I'm sure you're worried, Elizabeth. Don't worry too much though! It will all be solved soon and your papa will be better in no time." She rolls over onto her back and you use your hand to act as a toy for her to paw at. You take a quick look around you to make sure you're alone in the room and whisper to the cat, fully aware that she cannot  _ actually _ understand you. "How bad is it, girl? Hm? You look well cared for, but Jumin himself doesn't look well at all." You look around again, still empty. "I'm so, so worried for him, I have been for a while…I wish I could have come sooner."

She rolls over and walks away from you, clearly done with playing and petting. Gazing at her your thoughts continue to grow silently in the empty room. 

The RFA is in crisis. Certainly not the level of crisis like when you first joined, no, but it was  _ very _ far from peaceful. Zen had that nasty experience with Echo Girl a while back. Yoosung was still struggling with school, feeling lost and directionless. Seven was only a shell of himself compared to how he was when you first met him, the hacker issue was never resolved and even though he tried to hide it you could tell it still messes with him. Jaehee was overworked and underappreciated, with no family or support system (other than the RFA) to encourage her to follow the dreams she told you about in secret. Jumin was dealing with C&R, his dad and his dad's girlfriend, and Sarah. And V… 

You didn't want to think about V. The man was a sore subject you didn't like to bring up and did your best to avoid. It was only two months after the escape from Mint Eye that you realized you misinterpreted your feelings of gratitude and relief with romantic feelings during your imprisonment and escape. Yes, he asked you to wait for him and you agreed to...but you also said that after he had been stabbed by Rika. What, were you supposed to look at the man and say anything  **but** what he needed to hear to just make it through the night? The topic of romance or dating never came up again and before he left, you had fully realized you never loved nor had any romantic feelings toward V. 

You stand and your eyes land on a decorated bookshelf across the room near the wall lengthed glass windows hidden behind curtains. Approaching it, you pull them back to look out to see how busy and lively the city is despite the late hour. The penthouse was high enough up that most of the noisy traffic was distant and muted compared to the sound of the fish tank filtering water and the distant sound of coffee being made - you heard Jumin mention he was making some earlier. Pulling your eyes away from the city below, you look at the various items on the bookshelf. Books he has mentioned before: all the editions of Expert Playboy, a book on vampirism, one on dark magic, and the unique collection continues. There were small collections from various successful business enterprises. You recognized a gift he was sent by a business partner he made a year ago, another was a cat-themed souvenir given to him from a long-time business partner he successfully convinced to continue working with, one was unfamiliar and you imagine it is from yet another success before your time. You see framed photos of Jumin with different people and at different ages. One bright, multicolored photo catches your eye.

It is one of Jumin, V, and Rika. Your hands grab the frame and you pull it from the shelf and inspect it closer. The three of them are together, sitting on a blanket on top of green grass and an opened bottle of wine with each of them holding their own glasses smiling back at you. You wonder how old the photo is because they all look so...happy. Was there ever a time any of the three were as happy as they seemed to be in this photo? Jumin was the only one not looking at the camera, instead he was gazing softly at the couple. It was that very couple that was the cause of the previous crisis in the RFA. Their toxic and unhealthy relationship is the sole cause for the pain you are keenly aware you all still feel. It was their false love, love like the sun. That fake love burned and scarred Rika. And you too. You felt the pain of V's yearning as well. Even though there  _ was _ no relationship between you and there never will be, the feelings he had for you still haunt you. Your eyes glide across the photo and land on the raven-haired man and your heart throbs painfully in your chest. 

Yes, they haunt you because it wasn't V you loved. It was Jumin. 

"Ahem."

The sudden sound makes you jump and you turn your body towards the source, moving your hands to hide the photo behind your back. Jumin stands not too far away from you, the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled up to expose his lean yet muscular forearms tucked into each other across this broad chest. His tie was already off when you arrived, but now the first few buttons of his shirt are now unbuttoned and only a sliver of his collar bone was exposed. It reminded you of a conversation you had with him once, you jokingly said that you preferred the sight of a man's Adam's apple - but he did not pick up on the joke and he called your tastes peculiar. Maybe they were a bit weird, you admit now that the sight before you was enough to make your face warm ever so slightly.

"I apologize, it took longer to get things set up than I thought it would. Please, forgive my rudeness. I didn't mean to leave my guest unattended for so long." He says.

"Oh, no,  _ I'm sorry _ for causing so much trouble and making your night so hectic. I came here with intentions to help you but it seems all I have done is make you work…" You trail off.

"Nonsense. It is no trouble at all." He says simply. "Although…", his eyes go from your face and slip down to your arms, which were still hiding the photo behind your back. "I am curious what  _ you _ have been up to."

"Oh! Oh, jeez, sorry…" You say sheepishly, pulling the frame from behind you and holding it up. "I was...being a bad guest, I apologize…"

Jumin walks towards you and accepts the photo when you hand it to him. Gazing down at it, he says nothing for a moment, probably remembering the day that photo was taken. His eyes flick down to look at you for a beat before he finally replaces it onto the bookcase in its original place and continues speaking.

"Impossible, you have been incredibly patient." He looks down at you again. "Come, all of your items have been delivered and you look tired. It is about time I take you to bed." He finishes and walks away intending you to follow.

"Take me to bed?" You repeat in shock at the implications of his statement, not sure if he knew the sexual undertones hidden in his choice of words. 

"Yes," he says plainly as he continues walking, "I have kept you awake very late. It is nearing midnight and you need to rest." He leads you away and gestures towards a door, "You may use this bathroom to clean up and you can sleep in my bed tonight."

"Your bed?" Repeating his words again like a trained magpie. Your warmth on your face deepens and you feel your hands sweat. "Um, but...where will you sleep?" You ask trying to make sure you're not assuming things are traveling down a road you're  _ very _ much not ready for anytime soon.

"I'll be fine. I don't think I'll sleep." He says. "I have some things to think about…"

You blow a raspberry and he looks at you with wide eyes full of confusion.

"Nope! That's not how this is going to go at all, mister!" You say crossing your arms. "You've had all day to think, nothing you come up with sleep deprived will be better than anything you could put together after a full night's rest."

"Hm."

"Am I wrong?" You ask hoping he doesn't fight you too much on the issue. 

"I have a lot of work I still need to do, so I can't go to sleep anytime soon." He says as he crosses his own arms.

"That's perfect then. I have more emails to send for the party, we can work together until we're both done." Trying to call his bluff you don't budge from your position.

"No. You should sleep." He says firmly, trying to sound stern.

You sigh before you continue. "Listen, Jumin. You're an incredible negotiator with a lifetime's worth of experience in successfully getting your way in business. But I'm the RFA party coordinator - I've convinced everyone from astronauts to an invisible man and a literal coding language to attend our party. We will be here for weeks unless you just agree to go to sleep with me."

"With you?"

"No! I meant - ugh - Jumin Han!! I meant that  _ you _ and  _ I _ both agree to go to sleep, but sleep  _ separately _ ." You say, moving your hands as you speak, growing more and more flustered at the seemingly endless amount of sexual innuendos that keep appearing. 

"I know," he says with a smile, "I was teasing you."

You laugh weakly. "Glad to know you're still sane enough to tease me, Jumin."

"You make it too easy," he says. "You're wrong about one thing though. Things don't always go my way and it seems my negotiation skills are subpar by now."

You tilt your head, confused at the statement, but straighten up once you understand. "Oh, you must be talking about the difficulties with getting C&R back on track after the Echo Girl incident."

Eyes shifting away from yours he confirms with a small hum. 

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that, Jumin." You say as you try to look at his eyes. "First, you get dressed for bed and I will too, okay? Promise me."

Jumin looks at you as you extend out your arm and hold up a pinky finger. A smile tugs at his lips when he realizes you haven't made him pinky promise anything in months. Wrapping his own finger around yours, he promises and you both part for a few minutes. 

When you exit the bathroom wearing pajamas Jumin provided you, you see him in a matching set (a light gray/lavender base with dark gray vertical stripes) sitting on his couch waiting for you. You sit down on the couch near him, crossing your legs and sitting on the cushions facing him as Jumin sits up and feet on the ground. 

"I'm not...ready to talk about the issue with my father right now. Or those women...I hope you understand." When he looks at you his eyes reveal a painful sadness you knew he had to be experiencing, but you didn't know it was  _ that _ bad. He leans forward and breathes deeply.

"Yes, Jumin. Of course. Only tell me what you feel ready to tell me." You say leaning in close to him, unable to stop yourself from placing a hand on his forearm resting on his knees. But he doesn't pull away from your touch and you can't bring yourself to remove your hand.

And, so, you both stay there on the couch. Jumin confides in you about the difficult business meetings he has gone to, the endless amount of phone calls he's dealt with from investors, the numerous failed attempts at rekindling business partnerships with other companies. You're pleasantly surprised when he begins to complain, telling you about shitty interns that bring him cold coffee or grammatical errors in important documents. When you accidentally let a yawn slip past your lips, he guides you to his bed, promising that he'll also retire the moment he is certain you're asleep. You decide that you've given the poor man a hard enough time as is so you take his word - Jumin always keeps his promises. When sleep finally takes you, you don't dream. Instead, your mind plays a memory of when Jumin went with you to the flower fields. Although you told Yoosung you didn't have any more secrets, you did have a single one you kept even from him. While Jumin was busy marveling at the fields, you were plucking petals off a flower. 

_ He loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...he loves me not...he loves me...he loves me not...oh...this is the last petal...I guess that means he loves me... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this fluff? Idk! But if you've read any of my other works you know that THIS is my SHIT!!! I love writing things like this, intimacy is my faaaave and I hope y'all are ready for more!  
> I should say that because this takes place in Jihyun's route and Jumin doesn't have feelings for Rika anymore, his relationship with Elly is different! It is more evident in later chapters, but just an FYI!


	8. Jumin's change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being around Jumin is more difficult than you thought it would be. It was getting harder and harder to hide your feelings for him. Your focus immediately shifts when Elizabeth goes missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next few chapters play out like how his route does + expanding conversations and filling in where I think the game could have. (Not that I am dissatisfied with what Cheritz gave us! I love them and how hard everyone continues to work on the game!! I wish folks on twitter weren't so obnoxious to the official twitter account! If you have ever bothered the poor social media intern that probably manages that page...stop that!! It makes me sad when I see it...)

You apparently slept like a brick in Jumin's bed. When you woke up, the sun was up and you were spread out like a starfish and a good amount of drool coated your cheek. Looking anything but elegant, you waddle over to the bathroom to wake yourself up some more. After peeing, brushing your teeth, and taking a shower you finally notice that the clothes you put in the hamper the night before were neatly folded on a shelf.  _ Did Jumin send my clothes to be cleaned while I slept? Mr. Efficient is as diligent and courteous as ever. _

Drying off and putting on the freshly cleaned clothes, you give yourself a look over in the mirror and are feeling new and ready for the day. 

Stepping out of the bathroom, you turn your head to the sounds of someone cooking in the kitchen - only to be greeted to the sight of your well groomed host turned away from you. No longer in his sleepwear, he looms over the stove in his new button down tucked into his black slacks secured around his hips by his belt. As you walk up your eyes travel across the wide expanse of his back, accidentally making yourself so distracted you don't have time to stop yourself from wrapping your arms around his waist and hugging him from behind.

"Ah!" He jumps at the unexpected contact with a startled gasp. He releases a relieved sigh when he looks over his shoulder and down at you. "You shocked me, I didn't hear you coming this way." Now smiling he continues. "Good morning, you look well rested."

_ Oh my god, I'm such a creep! _

Embarrassed at your unexpected embrace, you give an awkward smile and begin to pull away, only stopping when you feel one of his large hands cover your own wrapped around his stomach - a silent voice enters your mind saying  _ don't go _ .

Stopping your retreat, you instead crane your neck to look around him to see what he is up to. "Good morning, Jumin. Your bed was very comfortable, I can't remember a night that I've slept as well as I did last night. What are you doing?" You're being much more bold with how you're acting with him. This is definitely not how friends act with each other. There is no way Jumin is okay with you acting like this. Right? But Jumin always spoke his mind, he is quick to express his discomfort no matter the occasion. He didn't tell you to stop, the hand that is holding your own to his waist told you otherwise. Does he...want you to keep being affectionate like this? Does he know  _ why _ you're so affectionate? Does he feel the same…?

"Making strawberry pancakes." His eyes pull away from you and he turns his head towards the stove again. "Your timing is perfect, they're almost done."

"Jumin," you say with a happy smile extending your lips and tightening your hold around his waist, "I didn't know you cooked. You didn't have to, I could've made you something." 

"Nonsense, you're my guest, you shouldn't have to cook. Look over there." He says as he points towards a countertop to your left with a spatula. "There is coffee, an assortment of tea, fruit, and some eggs that I have also prepared for you. Please, help yourself - I've already eaten." Finally pulling his hand from yours, he returns to flipping flapjacks. 

Reluctantly releasing him from your arms you walk towards the clean marble countertop and sit at a chair as you watch the man cook a little longer. 

"How did you sleep, Jumin? You look much brighter than you did yesterday."

"I slept well, the coach is comfortable enough." He brings the pan over to you and in a few strides with his long legs he arrives at the countertop and puts the freshly made pancakes onto your plate. 

"Oh, Jumin. You shouldn't have to sleep on the couch, I feel bad now." A hint of small guilt blooms in your chest. You're also slightly embarrassed because that means that you slept with no walls to divide you; thus, Jumin had free reign to watch you without restriction. With a burst of excitement spreading through your body his old words come up again,  _ you have peculiar tastes _ . Yeah, you kinda did.

"Given the state of things, doing anything with you out of my sight for a prolonged period of time would be too much to bear. I wouldn't have felt secure unless I knew you were safe."

"Is your home not safe?" You ask knowing full well that it  _ is _ safe, trying to get Jumin to see how excessively paranoid his thoughts are.

"Anywhere I cannot see you is not safe." He says as he walks back to replace the pan onto the stove to cool. "Those women...I just know they're planning something."

"Then isn't the natural plan of action to stop them? As opposed to simply waiting for something to happen?" You want him to see reason, to see how uncharacteristically irrational he is being. "We can all come up with a plan together. We're all so worried, Jumin…"

As if on cue, your phone buzzes in your pocket and you see a notification from the messenger. It's Jaehee, and she reminds you of the  _ real _ reason why you're at Jumin's. Not solely to comfort him, but to make him feel at ease to a point where he can get back work. She urges you to convince Jumin to come to the office.

When you tell Jumin about the rumors his employees are saying, remind him of the work he still has to do, AND the fact that you'll be here guarding Elizabeth, he stops to think and weigh his options.

"I can't just sit and let strange rumors get around my office." He sighs after a prolonged period of silence. "If you take care of Elizabeth the 3rd, I'll feel safe while I'm gone...Will you be okay?" 

"I'll take good care of her." Smiling that he is finally starting to come to his senses. "Don't worry and go, I got it handled from here." 

He crosses the kitchen once again and looks down into your eyes, speaking softly. "You have a beautiful heart…Elizabeth the 3rd is important to me. But that's how much I trust you...So I won't have to be anxious while taking care of work." He begins adjusting and fiddling with his cufflinks, a rare show of nervousness. "I hope you both stay safe until I come back. If anything happens, you know to call me, right?"

Jumin seems to be regaining his cool, it is more relieving than you'll ever admit that his usual pragmatic and rational personality was returning. 

"You'll both be here alone...I should introduce you to the chief of security. He'll be in charge of protecting you in my stead. Just wait a minute." He steps out of the kitchen and your stomach growls angrily at you for neglecting it while surrounded by so much good food. Using the brief moment of peace, you take a few bites of pancake and drink a bit of your tea to calm your stomach. 

When Jumin returns he has a vest on and is putting his jacket on as he walks over speaking with a man you haven't seen before. 

"Oh, I should show you how to feed Elizabeth the 3rd in case I'm not back soon enough to feed her." He looks at you and nods towards her cage. "Come."

Getting up, you follow him across the other side of the open penthouse. When he shows you how to open the cage you apologize and run to grab your phone to set a reminder at the correct time to feed her. When you reach your phone you quickly respond to a few texts from some of the members, only to be interrupted when you hear a loud voice. 

"What?!"

Turning to the sound you see the two men looking around the empty cage with Elizabeth nowhere in sight.  _ What in the world? It was only a few moments… _

"She was there just now...where did she go?" Jumin's voice is frantic as his eyes bounce around his home. His chief of security is saying something but your focus is on the now crumbling man before you, a sense of dread filling your body. 

"Elizabeth...the 3rd…" Jumin's voice is small now, full of hurt and...betrayal?

Your eyes remain on Jumin and your chest aches at the sight of him before you. He's hurting. He's scared. There's something else that you notice but can't interpret. Eventually his eyes land on you and he's quick to advance. 

"I need you to stay here." His voice is firm yet desperate. He's both telling you and begging you, trying to negotiate between being reasonable and being safe. "Please don't leave this place." His hands drop onto your shoulders and his eyes strike deep into yours. "Alright? Don't. Leave." 

He lifts his head towards the ceiling and takes a sharp inhale and exhale. "God...Keep calm." You're unsure if he's telling it to himself or you, probably a mixture of both. He turns his head towards his front door and bites his lip a moment. Releasing your shoulders he quickly moves, tossing a look over his shoulder as he leaves. "Just wait for me here…!"

When the door closes, a cool touch of anxiety slides through your heart, reminding you of the sound of gates locking you in like the ones at Mint Eye long ago.

-

Hours pass and no sign of Elizabeth. The messenger is full of activity since the news of her disappearance broke. You try to stay positive, Zen is feeling guilty about the dream he had and poor Jaehee is still suffering from all the work, the rumors about Jumin, and now the fact her employer was slowly devolving into madness from the sudden loss of his furry companion. 

Jaehee tries to understand what could have driven the most well cared for cat away from her beloved owner, and you can't help but remember the image of Ray handing you a flower. The thought made you shudder. Being well cared for is nice, but a cage is still a cage.

> You: She might just be rebelling.

You  _ really _ didn't want to think about that right now.  _ Just stay busy, focus on what you have control over. One step at a time. Breathe. Slow, slow. Breathe. It's ok. You're safe. It's safe. Everything will be alright. _

You try to calm your mind with advice from the counselor you saw for a while after the whole incident. To try and keep your sanity, you focus on working on the party from your phone. Unlike the others who juggle a million roles and responsibilities, being RFA party coordinator was something only you could do. 

You're sitting on the couch composing an email when Jumin finally returns. You spring up and go to him as he slowly approaches with weak steps. 

"Jumin…"

"I'm sorry for coming home so late…" he sighs. "I'm glad you're safe." 

"What about Elizabeth?" You haven't heard an update from anyone in a while and you have started to worry more than you would like.

His pained eyes find yours and he pauses before he says anything. "I...couldn't find her." He says in a defeated voice. "I can't believe this. I can't believe that I still haven't found her...She could have left the building." He walks over to the couch and plants both hands on top of it and rests his weight there and starts talking more to himself than to you. He hung his head down and sighed deeply. "I can't believe that she's not here...I wish this were a dream."

It pains you to see the man in so much distress. Stepping towards him you speak in a low, soft tone. "Jumin...we'll find her. It's going to be okay. It's only a matter of time, but she'll be back home soon enough."

His head lifts up but his eyes stare straight ahead, looking far off. "Yes, we will…Alive or not, we'll find her."

"Jumin…!" You gasp at his morbid statement, shocked he'd say such a thing.

"I feel like all the love I've given her for years have gone to waste. How do I express how I'm feeling right now…? I feel...as if I've been betrayed." A hand comes up and presses to his chest. "This bitter sadness that eats away a part of my heart." He pauses a moment and shakes his head and stands up. "Why am I like this? It's very unlike me."

Finally he turns to look down at you, eyes still heavy with pain. "You'll...stay a bit longer with me, won't you?"

Taking another step closer you hold his gaze. "I'll be here until you feel better, Jumin. You can trust me." 

He thanks you, apologizing for burdening you with his woes and scolds himself for his inability to control his emotions. "I hate myself like this. I feel like I've truly hit rock bottom." 

Before he could say anymore, there's a knock on the door and he mumbles something to himself about a new body guard and takes a few steps closer to the door before calling for them to open it.

"Mr. Han, Miss Sarah has come for you." The man says.

Crossing his arms, Jumin reached his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The worst woman at the worst timing." The man says that Sarah claims to have knowledge of Elizabeth, but will only say if she can see Jumin in person. Jumin drops his hand and raises an eyebrow, clearly weighing his options. Body still facing forward, Jumin turns his head to tilt back to look at you. "I don't want to let that woman in and I'm sure what she has to say is a lie...but should I let her in? What do you think?"

You pause. Although you can't help but feel...protective of Jumin...you're also curious what the woman is like. Besides...what if she actually does have information? "Nothing bad will come out of hearing some information. You can judge whether or not what she says is helpful." You internally praise yourself for sounding cool headed even in such a chaotic situation. 

With a small smile he agrees, but it vanishes when he continues. "It's highly likely that she thinks of this situation as an opportunity...If I think that the information she provides is useless, then that will give me a reason to never see her face again…" His head turns towards the door. "I wish that woman would say 'I have Elizabeth the 3rd, give me your money.' like a villain." The voice he uses to imitate her makes you laugh. "Let's hope for it."

The mood shifts immediately as she walks in, her sultry voice ringing off the walls as she speaks. "Jumin! Oh my~! You look sooo tired, but don't worry. I, your beloved Sarah, am finally here so everything will be solved!" She proclaims into the space with her nose up and closed eyes.

"Where is the cat?" Jumin asks with no emotion. 

Turning to her purse she works to fish something out. "It's not with me yet~! Here, I have a photo - let me show you." She finally looks at Jumin but quickly her eyes catch you on the other side of the couch behind him. "W-...What's this? But who is that woman?" She looks at Jumin with wide eyes and points an accusing finger at you. 

"Show me the photo." Again, not a single hint of emotion in his tone.  _ So much for a loving reunion with a  _ _fiancé_.

She scoffs. "What, is she your hidden lover?" 

Hesitantly you speak up, feeling embarrassed at her words. "It's nothing like that…" You're honest but you gotta admit...it does look like it. "First, just show us the photo of Elizabeth."

With an angry low laugh she shakes her head, "Oh my, look at that girl lying through her teeth! Just what the hell are you doing in my fiancé's house in the middle of the day?! Hm?"

"...Who's whose fiancé?" Jumin asks.

Her eyes flick to him. "Oh, Jumin...No need to be shy. I know everything~ I'm sure she's just a meaningless hookup. Don't you worry, I'm not the type of woman who makes fusses about these things." She takes a few steps towards him, hips swaying as her heels click on the floor. "You work in the big league. I'm sure  _ this _ ," she gestures to you as her eyes stay glued on his, "is nothing. It's fine. Marriage is a much more sacred bond than meaningless desire." She stops walking and tenses up. "Alright, alright. Don't look at me like that." She says with hands up defensively, but you can't see the expression on his face from far behind him.

She clears her throat. "You'll feel much better if I show you the photo." Pulling it from the purse she proudly holds it up. "Now, here! It's her, right?"

You're quick to prevent a laugh from escaping when you see it. The  _ last _ thing Jumin needed was for someone to laugh at the situation. Even from your position you could tell that what Sarah showed up with was certainly  _ not _ a photo of Elizabeth.

A dramatic and awkward scene plays out in front of you. Sarah is trying desperately to defend herself, suggesting that she must have been tricked. Jumin, tired of her schemes, clearly wants her gone. 

"Wait, Jumin! Don't try to call off the marriage on your own!" She is growing frantic now. Her eyes lock onto yours again. "Is it because of that woman? I'm going to tell Mr. Han first!! That you have another woman!"

Your anxiety grows at the mention of Jumin's dad. You know he really doesn't want to think about his dad right now. "Sarah, I'm Jumin's friend. Please...watch what you say." You regret telling Jumin to let her in now.

"Friend?" She laughs at you. "What kind of friend are you to stay alone with him at his house?!" She looks around as she talks and lets out a disgusted scoff. "And it looks like you  _ spent the night _ . Are those pancakes?! Ugh! It is so obvious!"

Looking around yourself you can see now just how badly it looks. If this were a scene you walked into, you also couldn't help but wonder the type of night Jumin had with a woman. 

She steps even closer to Jumin, only about an arms length away from him by this point. "Jumin! How could you do this to me?! Mr. Han loves you so much…" She flashes him a sad look with damp eyes. "How could you be so rude to me when he picked me! I can't just leave like this!"

Jumin stands still and his voice keeps its cool, emotionless tone. "Funny. This reminds me of an episode of a soap opera. Your fake tears, your timid threats...It's all so cliché that it almost makes me want to laugh. Almost." She continues protesting and repeating the same thing, but Jumin stands firm. "You've annoyed me enough to get me to talk. I know from experience that people like you will do whatever it takes to get what they want...It is such a pity, you covet all this wealth I've had since I was born." He pauses. "Do you want some? A couple million, is that what you want?"

There's a shocked silence from both Sarah and you. You both exchange confused, surprised looks before you both look back at Jumin. 

"Tell me. If you ask me for it, I might give it to you. You need money, right? It's nothing to me." You feel something building, but you don't know what. 

Sarah pokes and prods, still uneasy about the strange direction this encounter has turned. "Can...you write me a check right now?" She asks hesitantly. "You mean it?" A simple nod from Jumin and she clears her throat. "Um...then three million. Then I'll say no to the marriage. But, only if you put it nicely to Mr. Han."

"Got you."

Your eyes widen, you see what Jumin just did. He told you about this very scene he saw in a soap opera while on a trip in the middle east. He was on the messenger to ask Seven about Arabic, but Jumin more or less understood exactly what was happening in the episode. You distinctly remember Jumin mentioning that the episode was very entertaining. You laugh internally, because...of course,  _ Jumin _ would pull a stunt like that - even in this situation. 

When he explains to Sarah, she is livid. Her face nearly as red as her hair, she angrily shouts at Jumin and insults you. That is more than enough for him, he is likely done with entertaining her and feeling annoyed the situation has dragged on for so long - but she refuses to leave. 

He sighs. "Fine. If you do not wish to leave, I will use you as an excuse to do what I want." He says simply before mumbling something about soap operas. You straighten up when Jumin turns his head to look at you and back up into the couch when he quickly approaches you.

As he steps towards you he speaks with a level voice. "Please excuse me. I have no other choice to let her out. Don't move." Before you could even have a chance to move, he hooks a finger under your chin to lift your face and his lips land on your own. The sensation immediately sends a near deadly level of electricity to your brain and a hand quickly moves up to desperately grasp his shirt, feeling an overwhelming heat flood your body. As he deepens the kiss, you feel yourself being pushed further into the couch behind you that you're very much depending on to keep you from falling. There's a whimper you don't even recognize as your own until Jumin shushes you, lips still on yours. Returning the kiss almost hungrily, you finally hear something that sounds like a door slamming. Jumin pulls away and straightens up as he turns his head towards the door. 

"Do you hear me?" His voice catches your attention, but you're still reeling from the unexpected kiss.

"I'm...phew, um. I'm sorry, Jumin. What was that? I'm a little dizzy I think, sorry. What were you saying?" Your eyes find his own and you release his clothes from your tight grip, feeling embarrassed at how little it took for your desires to overtake you. 

"I said," he leans down again and with a deep voice he repeats his words, "that you still taste like pancakes."

"Jumin!!" You yelp as you turn your head away and feel his lips graze your cheek instead. You were not ready. You were  _ so not fucking ready _ for this. You weren't emotionally, physically, nor spiritually ready for this - whatever  _ this _ was - with Jumin. You place your hands on his chest and put a little distance between the both of you and look away from him, worried that he'll see how bright red your face is and call a doctor or something like that. Up until now, he played the role of an innocent and inexperienced man, but that kiss was definitely not from a man who didn't know a thing about desire. "T-Thank you. Um, that was great. I've wanted that for a while, but -"

"You have?" He interrupts. 

"Jumin…!" You snap your head up now, and try to keep what little composure you have left. "Don't...don't make me say it out loud. Ugh! God. I just…" You sigh deeply, more flustered you have ever been your entire life. "I can't help but wonder if this is okay...Can we do this?" Your heart is pounding loudly in your chest and electricity is still tingling inside of you. 

"To be honest," he says, taking a step back so your arms drop and you anxiously tug at your hands as he speaks, "I've imagined doing that since you walked through my door. No, long before then too."

You want to scream, you want to roll on the floor and jump and squeal and do cartwheels. You have a million questions to ask, your heart is pounding so fast and hard you try to remember what Seven once told you about how women experience heart attacks differently from men but you don't remember what the symptoms are.  _ What a beautiful way to go _ , you think to yourself before you regain your senses. 

"I'm sorry that was so sudden - I should have asked before doing it. But I want you to know I don't regret what I did - only my method."

He's a damn lucky man that you've wanted to kiss him too or else you'd tear him a new one about treating women with respect by asking for consent...not that you can do that without being a hypocrite for the countless amount of nights you've dreamed of downright disrespectful scenarios involving the man…but you can't let your mind wander and try to focus the conversation.

You give a small nod. "I see...but...is this appropriate? Elizabeth is still missing." You try to step out of the little bubble you've both found yourselves in and back into reality. 

"This has nothing to do with that." He says with a frown. "It's my emotions. Besides, Elizabeth isn't here, but you are."

_ What is that supposed to mean? _

"Ah - I just realized something." He says smiling down sweetly at you and places a hand to very gently cup your cheek. "You are - indeed - very different from Elizabeth the 3rd."

_ Seriously, what in the world is he saying? _

Unable to stop yourself, you press deeper into his palm and wrap your right hand around his wrist and your left overlays his own resting on your cheek as he continues. "You're a special person who can truly understand me...who I can touch and kiss and understand what I'm saying." He uses his thumb to stroke your cheek. "I think I know now...that what I truly need is you, not a cat. And seeing you right in front of my eyes after not seeing you for so long...God, it's been far too long since I've seen this gorgeous face...I feel like I've finally gotten what I wanted. And I won't be a fool that loses what he needs." He says with a strong sense of finality.

Needs? He's saying he not only wants, but that he needs you? You're swooning, you're sure you practically have hearts in your eyes and you're certain he must see them from the look in his eyes. You smile at him and breathe a happy sigh as your heart races. He feels the same way you do - your biggest fear was that you'd lose his friendship if he ever found out about your feelings for him. But here you were, in the middle of his penthouse, confessing to one another and…

A giant, empty metal cage in the middle of his home…

"Yes, Jumin. I feel the same, but - "

"But?" A hint of hurt in his tone.

"Yes, but. I need you to calm down first. You were so worried about Elizabeth a moment ago. Remember?" You're doing your best to keep things from snowballing. You promised Yoosung a year ago you would stop any avalanches from forming from your small snowball. But you could already see it getting larger and larger.

"I've never been so sure of my feelings. Now that Elizabeth the 3rd isn't here...It must be so ironic that I'm so happy. But I've realized what I truly wanted thanks to my cat going missing. I want you." His thumb stops and he leans down just a tad - not low enough to kiss, but close enough for you to want to reach up and kiss him yourself. "And I want you to want me too - I mean it." 

Your eyes slip closed and you let yourself just cherish his words for a moment. They felt like silk running over you, they were as sweet as honey, and they sounded better than any melody you've ever heard. "Mm, I do. I  _ really _ do, Jumin." Your eyes open and you smile at his words. "I want you and have for such a long time, you have no idea. And time...time is what we have to explore this, okay? All the time in the world - I promise." Your smile fades and you speak seriously. "Although, there is a very time sensitive matter at hand. Before anything, we  _ must _ find Elizabeth."

"Yes...Yes, you're right. We have time. If that is what you want, I'll give it to you. Because even if it takes time, I want to have everything you are. So just stay here with me."

_ He's agreeing to the Elizabeth thing too, right?  _


	9. About father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely sure if what is happening is a dream or not, you try to adjust to everything by keeping busy. When you finally get the man to open up, you feel much more connected to him than you ever hoped you could be.

Searching for any type of normalcy, you try to focus on working remotely on the final details for the party and chatting with the others. Yoosung is with Seven doing what he can to help out, but he is feeling pretty useless compared to all the effort Jumin and Jaehee are putting in. It sounds like Seven is planning on taking Yoosung somewhere, but neither of you know where yet - though Yoosung seems excited for a chance to do anything other than go to school.

Jumin left after your small confessions to one another, he still needed to search for Elizabeth. He called you not long after he left, making you feel slightly better after hearing his voice. Although, you note that the man is very comfortable speaking bluntly with you.

> "I miss you already...perhaps because I've touched you. I still can't forget the shape and feeling of your lips. And for your information, I never forget something I closely observed."

Oh, lord...this man will be the death of you. He wasn't this way only with his physical attraction to you, but he was so much more open about his feelings than you thought he ever would be.

> "That electric feeling I had when our lips first touched...I think I felt it because we are connected. I never believed that before but after experiencing it myself, I know it's true."

It was touching to hear him say something cute like that. Obviously, you knew how you felt about him, but you didn't know too much how he felt about you. He told you that he wants a trusting relationship with you, saying that he wants to talk about how to get there later when you both have time. You're thankful he truly listened to what you had to say before he left. When you hear his voice your face warms, when he says he misses you your body tingles, every sigh and hum fills you with butterflies and you can't help but feel like a young teenager again.

A lot of the budding confidence in your newfound relationship is challenged by the reality Jumin is facing. Thankfully, he is still diligently looking for his cat, but the larger issue has yet to be addressed.

> You: Jumin, I think we should talk about your dad…

Finger hovering over the send button you stare at the message and bite your lip. _What will he say? What if it makes him anxious? He's already so nervous, texting him this will only make him feel worse. He keeps running from it, but this issue with Elizabeth is only a symptom of a_ **_much_ ** _bigger problem._ With a sigh you delete the message.

> You: I miss you. I can't wait for you to get home. ♡

Flat on his bed with legs hanging off the side, you drape an arm over your face and groan at the fact you have to figure out how to get such an emotionally repressed man to talk about the single most important person in his life.

You'd rather focus on finalizing details for the party. It is only two days away and it doesn't look like this crisis is passing anytime soon. You've all worked so hard and you do _not_ want to cancel this one just like you did the first time you ever tried to host a RFA party back when you were trapped at Mint Eye.

Your phone makes a sound and you read a simple text from Jumin.

> Jumin Han: Me too. I'll be home tonight, I'll make sure to bring some good wine back with me.

Knowing Jumin's love for wine, you can tell that him doing that was a big show of his affections towards you. The thought of him wracking his brain over something as simple as the kind of wine he wants to bring home makes you smile. You immediately shoot up when your mind starts to wander and imagine what dinner with him would be like. _Focus!!!!!! You have a job to do! Jaehee is having a hard time, and Jumin is suffering - stop living in la la land and get a grip!_

Shaking your head you bring your mind back to the issue at hand. Jumin's dad. Looking down at your phone again you decide that it's best to not make him any more worried than he already is out there. It would be better to have him with you when you bring his dad up and it won't be overwhelming to address issues one at a time. Texting him about his dad or work now won't make him any better.

Now the issue is what to _say_ to Jumin about his dad. You definitely have your own opinion of the man based on what Jumin has told you about him, but you'd never in a million years say anything other than you respect him. But you don't - not really. You detest infidelity and it is unnerving that the old man has had relationships with women your own age. He may be a fabulous dad to his adult son, but you definitely didn't think highly of Chairman Han. From what you could piece together about his childhood, he was immensely blessed, but he lacked the emotional attention all children need growing up. It is strange to call it a neglectful childhood given all that he's had, but it is clear that his dad did not do right by Jumin until he was a grown man working at C&R. Yes, his dad loved him - but it seemed conditional. And Jumin doesn't seem aware that even now, he's desperately seeking his dad's approval and love as if he's still a young boy. You'll take these thoughts to the grave though, you could never turn Jumin against his own dad. Especially when Jumin loves and respects his dad _so much_.

Plopping onto the bed again you roll over and grab a pillow to shove your face into and groan. What on Earth are you supposed to do about his dad? There is not a single piece of advice you can offer nor could you act as unbiased third party - you're in love with Jumin, it doesn't get more biased than that.

"Ughhh, how am I supposed to solve this?" You whine into the pillow, but your head perks up after a moment when you remember that conversation with Rika.

> " _I...don't know...but, I know I'm not alone. I still have the RFA and we all have each other. We'll overcome this. Together_."

That's right - duh. You weren't here to fix Jumin's problems. You were here to help him feel better, yes, but you weren't in charge of finding a solution or solving a problem. It was _Jumin's_ relationship with his dad, it was his relationship to mend. You were here not to do it for him, but to help him open himself up and guide him to do it on his own. You'll figure it out - together.

-

He doesn't return until much later that evening. Sure enough, he walks in with a bottle in hand and tells you about the various methods he's using to search for Elizabeth. Your phone is buzzing from the numerous check in texts from Zen and exhausted reminders from Jaehee. Both of them essentially want you to leave and go back to your own home, but you promise them you will as soon as Jumin feels better. Fortunately, Yoosung and Seven both seem busy so you don't have the entire organization chanting for you to leave - it would be hard fighting all of them off.

Eventually, a chef arrives and you both eat dinner and help yourself to the wine he brought home - restricting yourself to only a glass to keep your wits about you. When the meal ends and you both clean your dishes, you decide it's time to bring up his dad.

"Jumin, come sit with me and keep me company for a bit before we go to sleep." You call to him from his couch as he went to his room removing his outerwear, leaving only his white dress shirt with a loose tie and slacks. 

When he returns, he sits in the same spot he did the night before. "It's late, I should be encouraging you to rest instead of keeping you up." 

"Hmm, I'm fairly certain I went to sleep _much_ later last night and woke up feeling better than ever." You tease. "Besides…", you scoot closer to him and grab one of his hands and hold it in your own. "There's something we should talk about."

He looks at you seriously now, turning his body towards yours, he tucks a leg under him and faces you. "Anything you need to say, I'll listen." Using his free hand to cover your own.

"Actually, I'm going to need to be the one listening." He gives you a confused look. "We need to talk about your dad." You say finally.

"About my father?" Averting his gaze from you, his jaw clenches and you see his muscles tense. "I'd rather not." 

"Jumin, honey, I know. I get it. You probably have a lot of mixed feelings about everything. It's been, what? Two months? Jumin...that's such a long time to be at odds ends with him." Although his eyes aren't looking into your own, you can see the hurt in them. "I know it's been so hard for you, Jumin. I want to help."

"There's nothing you can do, this concerns my father and I." He says harshly, probably not meaning for it to hurt your heart as much as it did. 

"Yes, that's true...but…", giving his hand a light squeeze you continue, "you've been dealing with this alone for so long. Have you even talked about it with someone at all? At least once?"

"Talk? With no aim of finding a solution? What good will that do?" He sounds irritated. Not good.

"Talking about your feelings is important, Jumin. We've talked about this before on the messenger." Sighing you try to think of how to get him to see what you mean. "What if I was going through something terribly painful for months, but refused to talk to you about it? Despite the fact you know how much I cherish you, I still closed myself off from you."

He turns to look at you when you say that, concern in his eyes. "Have you been struggling without me noticing? If so, I apologize for not providing any support for you." 

"No, I'm fine. Thank you. But, don't you see? At even the _chance_ that I may need help you offer it." Pausing to search his eyes, you see it hasn't fully clicked yet. "And what if it was out of your control? Wouldn't you want to provide emotional support? Or offer yourself to be someone to lean on in times of trouble...I remember you doing that after…"

"After Mint Eye fell." He finishes.

"Exactly. You couldn't cure anyone's grief or pain, but you offered to be there nonetheless. That's what I'm trying to do for you now, Jumin. And...it hurts that you're rejecting me." You bite your lip and feel the familiar sensation of tears building in your eyes. "Please, don't push me away." You want to help him and you can't help but feel hurt on his behalf, your highly empathetic nature showing up in the form of glassy eyes.

"No, please know that was not my intention." His hands pull from yours and rise to cup both sides of your face, thumbs ready to wipe away any tears that may fall. "I never meant to hurt you, I…" he sighs and pauses to collect his thoughts. "I don't want to be a burden. The last thing I could ever want is to bring you pain, I'm so sorry."

Laying your hands over his, you plead with him. "Then just talk to me, Jumin. I need to know what you're thinking and how you're feeling. All I know is that you're hurting and I want to be there for you." 

He leans forward and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead. "Yes, alright. I think...I'll need more wine." 

"Bring the bottle and a glass for me too, I have a feeling we'll both need some wine." 

Retrieving the wine and two glasses, he returns to his spot and has a few sips before saying anything. 

"Initially, I was shocked. I guess I still am, but much more so in the beginning. It was baffling to me - that he'd ever do such a thing…"

Nodding you silently urge him to continue as you drink. 

"He's my father. If anyone knows me well enough it is him. He must have known I would oppose. The man raised me for Christ's -...!" Closing his eyes and taking a sharp inhale and exhale he tries to keep his composure. "Then I started feeling angry." The hand not holding his glass clenched tightly in his lap. "Not only was he weak willed enough to let some vapid woman convince him of such a ridiculous idea, he continues to listen to her over his own son."

He shakes his head and drinks some more from his glass. "I feel...insulted. Ignored. I feel he doesn't respect me as a man any more. My autonomy means nothing to him, my own goals and efforts...he doesn't care about them. He only cares about a woman he barely knows and who is only using him. Taking advantage of his single greatest flaw."

Placing your now empty wine glass onto the ground against the couch, you feel it already starting to warm you up. It was stronger than you're used to and it's been some time since the last time you drank. 

"Not to mention he doesn't even recognize nor care about the damage control my department has been doing for _months_! In meetings with investors he's begun to make a disgraceful habit of bringing up our personal matters. It's manipulative and far from the man I've known my whole life." 

He finishes his own glass and huffs. "I feel so utterly disrespected on so many levels. As a person, as a business associate, as a son. I'm also so deeply disappointed. And as angry as I am...It saddens me that my father's loneliness is being weaponized by that woman. She is no different than any other woman he's been with before, or any woman that has approached me. If anything, she's simply more successful in her scheming." He finishes with a deep sigh.

Turning his head he looks at you for the first time since he started. "You're truly so profoundly different from every single woman I've met before. You have no idea how thankful I am to have you here." His arms wrap around you and he embraces you with his arms draping around your shoulders and he gives you a tight squeeze. He breathes a deep breath and rests his chin on your head. "When you're here, I swear it's like I can just _see_ the threads untangle themselves slowly."

_Threads?_

Having him so close you smell his cologne and feel his body heat add to your own warmth. You shift a bit to sit up on your knees and you lean forward to nuzzle his neck as you wrap your arms around his torso. "I think you've done a great job at defending yourself so far, Jumin." You murmur into his neck, "Hm...maybe you can try something to show him you're serious. Or you can focus on Glam, since that is all he is paying attention to - if he won't listen to you then he'll definitely listen if he hears evidence against her." You have to stop yourself from kissing his neck, now keenly aware of the fact you're feeling frisky from the wine. _Ah, that's why I don't drink it when I go out...I forgot about that. Maybe the wine was a bad idea._

Jumin only hums at your suggestion and releases a comfortable sigh when your hand slowly strokes his back.

You're not sure how long you both stay like that, embracing each other and savoring the feel of finally being here together. For you, it's the fact you're here with him and that you're _with_ him. It took two years but you're finally here. Once the mess with his dad clears up, Elizabeth returns, and C&R is back on track, you know you'll _finally_ get to experience your relationship fully. This tender moment of intimacy and vulnerability is so much more than you ever could have dreamed about with him. 

Unfortunately, it ends when you yawn. He pulls away and looks down at you. "Oh, now I've gone and kept my princess awake far too long." 

The pet name makes your face flush and puts a smile on your lips. "Thank you, Jumin. Thank you so much." You embrace him again pressing your face against the crook of his neck. "Thank you sooooo much for talking with me, you have no idea how much it means to me." You squeeze him again and begin to move to crawl into his lap, but he pries your arms wrapped around his waist.

"Alright." He says laughing. "It is definitely time for me to put you to bed. I didn't know you were such a lightweight." He teases.

"Mm, 'put me to bed'? Don't threaten me with a good time, honeybun." You smile up at him as he stands up and pulls you to stand with him. You're definitely feeling the wine now. Maybe the wine was actually a _good_ idea.

He laughs again and he leads you to the bathroom. Of course, there's a fresh set of pajamas waiting for you and your basic necessities all set up for you. _Ugh, he's the best._

When you finish getting ready, you walk out and crawl into his bed still feeling somewhat giddy. Wrapping yourself up in the covers, you ease your eyelids to close when Jumin wishes you a good night and shuts the lights off. 

...but you can't sleep. Time passes by slowly and you're wide awake still.

"Stop fidgeting. It's time to sleep." He commands from somewhere far away. Curious, you peek an eye open but don't see him in your immediate line of sight. 

Slowly and quietly your hands grab your phone and dial his number. You see a figure move on the opposite side of the penthouse near the kitchen. 

> "There is no wall standing between us. You are in front of my eyes and I am in front of yours. But you call me and smile? Are you playing with me? This is fun."

You laugh and he continues.

> "Oh, alright...I won't move. I just want to stay still and look at you until you want me so desperately."

"Mission accomplished, Jumin. Quite a long time ago, in fact." You're rewarded with a chuckle.

> "...I love seeing you make that face. Let's just say it's my fantasy. You look like you want something. Is there something that you want me to do?"

You grin and can't help but be curious how far he's willing to take this. He's been teasing you since last night and you don't want to miss an opportunity to return the favor. "If I tell you, will you play it out for me?"

> "I've repeated the same words ever since you came here. I will do whatever you want. If it's me that you want, I will give myself to you."

A wicked smile creeps on your face and you casually mention one of the hundreds of scenarios you've already imagined yourself doing to Jumin - sparing no detail. You're exhilarated when his initial reaction is a cross between a choke and a cough. 

> "That was quite unexpected. Is that really what you want? You have a peculiar taste...If that's what you want, I'll keep that in mind. One day, I'll have one of my emplo-...no, we will see and choose it together. It is for our private use, so we must choose it. If you need anything else, tell me as you think of them. I can't wait to hear your creative ideas."

He pauses and you make sure to keep still, not wanting to ruin the moment.

> "You can be more greedy. Much more greedy. You can act like a baby to me. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to satisfy you. Just imagining a future with you is fun. But, we can play this game another time. Preferably, when neither of us should be sleeping. I'm hanging up now. Go to sleep, I mean it."

When he ends the call you roll over and actually try to fall asleep - although feeling newly frustrated from him toying with you like that. At least you knew now that you were the only one who could get flustered. _Phew, what type of wine did he bring? I should make sure to avoid that for a while._

As much as you truly _want_ to sleep, you're still full of energy with no sign of it disappearing. You turn on your side and start counting sheep hoping that it'll get you bored enough to make you pass out. 

_One Jumin sheep, two Jumin sheep, three Jumin sheep_.

Eventually you get to a thousand, the thought of a thousand little chibi Jumin's dressed as sheep was too cute. 

_I can't sleep. It's so late now, Jumin must be asleep...maybe I should check the messenger._

As if on cue, the man speaks up. "I know you're awake." 

Still in a playful mood, you grab your phone again but are greeted with a tired sigh from Jumin when he answers your call. "Why are you sighing?"

> "Why are you calling me at this hour…? I told you to sleep…Oh, please stop that. If you toss around like that my patience will reach its limit. Please don't move and don't fidget."

He's practically commanding you now. Indulging him, you remain still and speak in a low voice. You blow gently into the phone and continue, "Can I at least blow wind like this?" You tease. He sighs again and grumbles something about rules, making you worry you're actually annoying him before he continues.

> "Dear, didn't you learn that ears are very sensitive? You'll know whether or not that's ok if I do the same to you. Open your ears and listen…"

His punishment for you is to simply repeat your actions and all you can do is gasp at the rush of feminine desire sweeping through you, making you impossibly warm and tingly.

> "How about It? Do you understand my struggle now?"

Feeling guilty you shift nervously. "Yes, I understand now...I won't do it again." _Tonight at least._

> "Your face is red. Do you have a fever? I tend to have a lower body temperature. You'd be the perfect temperature in my arms then…"

Sitting up now, your head sweeps back and forth across the dark space, determined to find Jumin and put a stop to his relentless teasing. 

> "Oh? You look interested. Although you're the one that started it...Just hang up and look forward to it."

There is movement from the same area he was in the last time you called, and you see his shape steadily approaching. 

> "Enough chit-chat. Stay still."

This time it's less a command and more something you think he plans to make happen. When he reaches his bed he holds a hand out. "Your phone. Clearly, you having it the remainder of this night will only bring problems." Placing the device in his hand, you scoot back to make room for him on the bed, far too excited to simply cuddle with him.

Putting his own phone down next to yours on a shelf near his bed, he eases himself onto the bed and wraps his arms around your body to pull you to his chest. Resting his back against his pillows and bed frame, he lays out with his long legs stretched out. Your face presses into his chest and your arms wrap around his waist again. The beat of his heart is steady and loud, it makes you feel at ease. 

"After all that, I didn't expect this all to end in something as innocent as cuddling, Jumin." You say against his chest with a smile, definitely preferring it be PG or else you'd likely not survive the night.

"I don't want to rush things, there's a natural order and I don't want to skip even a single step with you." He places a light peck on the top of your head. "I've never had something like this before...all the people I've been with in the past were merely a few hours and nothing more - there were never emotions involved. I honestly cannot even remember the names of people I saw in the past. Well, I don't know if you can even say that I saw them."

Lifting your head you look up at him. "Jumin Han, I never took you for a playboy." you tease lightly. His eyes gaze into your own and you smile at him. "You're saying that this is the first time you've opened your heart." Translating his words you can tell when he nods his head that _that_ is the reason for all his suggestive words. "That explains a lot, Jumin."

"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, I'm utterly inexperienced with romance." He's relying on whatever interpersonal experiences he's had in the past to help him navigate everything with you right now. Hence, his shameless teases and unfiltered thoughts. Unfortunately for him, you have no plans of being what Sarah accused you of - a meaningless hookup. Which meant this man needed to learn how to be wholesome, not just sexy.

"You could tone it down a notch or ten." You say bringing your head back down to his chest. "I want there to be more to us than just passion. My feelings for you go so much further than that, I would hate for you to miss that…"

"Mine do too, I'll try to control myself more." He brings a hand up to gently pet your hair, repeating his motions and making you feel much more peaceful. "I'll do anything for you, my baby lamb. For us."

When your eyes drift close, they don't open again until sunlight has filled the space. 

Jumin left a note telling you to continue resting while he continues searching for Elizabeth. Your words must have reached him because he also mentions that he plans on visiting his office - the one thing Jaehee wanted. It took longer than you'd thought, but it was mission accomplished on that side.

Finding your phone, you're greeted by dozens of notifications from Yoosung and Zen. Apparently Yoosung is miserable with Seven on their "top secret" mission to look for Elizabeth, and Zen is concerned about you being cooped up at Jumin's place for so long. You open the messenger to leave a message for everyone and see the pair logged in.

> You: good morning!!!
> 
> ZEN: omg
> 
> Are u okay????
> 
> Jumin didn't do anything, right??
> 
> He may be a rock but he's still a man;;;
> 
> Hello? 
> 
> **Hello?!**
> 
> You: omg Zen! I'm ok!
> 
> ZEN: Haaaa...thank god. 
> 
> I was getting so worried, you didn't pick up any of my calls!
> 
> CEO-in-line needs to let you go!! 
> 
> Yoosung☆: I'm with Zen on this one. You've been at his place for so long and you guys aren't even dating…
> 
> ZEN: that jerk doesn't know anything about dating, all he wants to do is keep her locked up and treat her like a doll I bet!!!
> 
> You: guys -_- I'm fine! I mean it!! Jumin has been nothing but a gentleman! 
> 
> Yoosung☆: what kind of gentleman locks a woman in his house tho;;
> 
> ZEN: the man is twisted!!!!
> 
> You: Jumin is going through a lot. I was there for you, Zen. Even tho everyone told me to leave, I stayed and it helped you a lot back then, remember?
> 
> ZEN: ...that's different;; i never trapped you or told you that you couldn't leave! Besides! The party is tomorrow! 
> 
> I get the guy is upset about the fur ball but...this is excessive. 
> 
> You: oh right, Yoosung! How is the search for Elizabeth going?
> 
> Yoosung☆: AWFUL!
> 
> SEVEN IS SO MEAN!!!!! 
> 
> I've been holding my pee for hours and he keeps saying he'll pull over but then he doesn't!
> 
> ZEN: dude;;
> 
> Yoosung☆: it feels like he's been driving for hours! I'm not even sure where we are tbh…
> 
> You: my poor, poor cutiepie Yoosung 💔
> 
> ZEN: don't coddle him -_- this is why he's still single
> 
> Yoosung☆: what's ur excuse then lol
> 
> ZEN: …

Zen made a valid point though. You had to finalize details and prepare for the party and Jumin has kept you inside for a while...you've done your best to ignore how it reminds you a bit of Mint Eye. It calms you down when you remember that this will all be over once Elizabeth returns. Jumin will still have the issue with work and his dad, but at least when Elizabeth is back in the apartment he'll have a greater sense of control.

You're reviewing the guest list while eating a light lunch when Jumin's contact pops up on your screen. _Hopefully it is an update on Elizabeth_. 

"Jumin! Any news? Are you heading to the office?"

> "Unfortunately, there aren't any good leads about Elizabeth the 3rd. The TV stations aren't being as cooperative as I hoped, apparently they've been getting a lot of complaints...and, yes, I'm heading to the office right now. I'm calling because I have a little bit of time before we arrive."

There's a sigh and he pauses. _Did something happen? He sounds stressed._

"Are you worried you'll run into your dad when you get there?" Treading lightly you try to get a feel of where his head is at right now.

> "No, I'm not thinking about him right now. I have an idea about how to solve that, but...There are only so many stressful issues I can take occupying my mind at a time. I'm calling about what you said in the messenger."

_About what I said?_ You shift nervously in your seat, trying to remember what you said to Zen and Yoosung that would make Jumin upset. After all you've done to try and comfort him, you've somehow made him more stressed out.

> "Why didn't you tell them?"

"Tell them what, Jumin?" You're confused, unsure of what you left out when you were chatting. "...I hope you don't mean the wine, I would rather Zen not have a reason to come try to break me out of your home."

> "He wouldn't be able to, security is too tight and I already told them to turn Zen away if he gets to the building."

You let out a light laugh. "Did you show them a picture of him? Which one did you use?" Jumin either used the most recent one he could find or the worst photo he could get his hands on, either were very likely scenarios.

> "That isn't important and that's not what I was referring to." 

He clears his throat before he continues, seeming on edge and nervous.

> "We're getting close to C&R already...I was hoping we'd have more time...damn."

"Jumin, what is it? I'm sorry for whatever I did, I didn't me- "

> "You're already apologizing before I tell you? How do I know it is sincere if you say it so quickly?"

"Jumin…" you're hurt and a little surprised at his bite. Jumin hasn't spoken to you like this before and now you're really worried. "Just because I say it easily doesn't mean that I'm not actually sorry. Just...tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it."

> "Why didn't you correct Yoosung? He thought it was inappropriate to have you over because we aren't together, why didn't you tell him that he's wrong?" 

_Oh, shit._ You totally forgot Yoosung made the comment and your mind was preoccupied trying to not wander and think about last night. But, Jumin was clearly upset with you right now. He's never been angry with you before and it feels _awful_. "Oh no, Jumin, I'm so sorry. Please know that it wasn't intentional, I didn't purposely not mention it. It's not like I'm hiding it or anything, I honestly didn't think to mention it. Zen was so upset that I'm here at all, so I was more focused on trying to calm him down."

> "That may be so, but I don't understand why you didn't correct them later on. You had plenty of chances to."

He's getting upset, his voice sounds anxious and he's talking fast. "You're right, I should have done it then. I'm sorry, Jumin. I wasn't thinking about you or how you'd feel about that, I should have been more considerate…" with a nervous sigh you continue. "I know we haven't exactly talked about... _us_ yet. But I think we should wait until things aren't so hectic to talk more about it. Just know I had no intention of hurting you and that I'm truly _so_ sorry for making you upset."

> "Us? Do we even need to talk about that? I thought- Ah, damn. I'm already at the office and there's a lot going on. I need to leave."

He's really upset and you want nothing more than to run to him right now. "Alright, that's fine. I'm sure you're going to be very busy. I'll see you tonight when you get home, okay?" You try to calm him down a bit and remind him that you're still here for him. "Good luck today...I miss you." There's silence and you think he's hung up before you hear his voice again.

> "I miss you too. See you tonight."

When the call ends you can't help but feel _awful_ for hurting Jumin like that. Under normal circumstances, you'd be concerned that a partner felt so insecure about your relationship, but this was _definitely_ far from normal. With everything going on, it is understandable that even the smallest thing can make him scared, but you never expected something so minor to make him so upset with you. 

Once the party is done, you have every intention of clearly establishing your relationship with Jumin. You couldn't even tell if you were dating, in an exclusive relationship, or just moments away from the man giving you a ring. You shudder at the thought of him proposing right now - you'd definitely call Zen if Jumin pulled that on you anytime soon.

Your pity party was interrupted when your phone buzzed in your hand. Yoosung was in the messenger again. _Maybe I should correct him now, Jumin will probably feel better if I do that._

> Yoosung☆: WE FOUND HER! 
> 
> WE GOT THE CAT!!!

_Nevermind, this is bigger news._

> You: OMG! Did you tell Jumin?!
> 
> Yoosung☆: I tried calling but he didn't answer and I sent him a text!!!!! 
> 
> I thought he'd be here but…
> 
> You: Where did you find her? Is she ok? 

Yoosung sends a photo of him and a very dirty Elizabeth. She's sitting on his lap and looking incredibly uncomfortable, either it was because Yoosung's lap wasn't some thousand dollar cat bed or because the poor girl was clearly lost and was covered in mud, dirt, and had all kinds of twigs and leaves in her previously stunning white fur.

> You: oh poor girl 💔 she must be so scared and hungry!
> 
> Yoosung☆: poor Elizabeth?!
> 
> **I think you mean "poor Yoosung" T_T**
> 
> I'm covered in fur and she thinks I'm a scratching post! 
> 
> This is even worse than the drive here!!!
> 
> You: you guys are on your way back, right? Where are you???
> 
> Yoosung☆: idk tbh T_T
> 
> Oh
> 
> **UGH**
> 
> **5 HOURS?!**
> 
> Seven says we'll be back in 5 hours!!!! 
> 
> This is the _worst_ trip I've ever been on!!!
> 
> You: Yoosung thank you so much for going with Seven to save Elizabeth!
> 
> Yoosung☆: -_- stop that. stop trying to make it seem like this is something I should be happy about…
> 
> You: oops! You caught me!
> 
> But you should call Jaehee! 
> 
> Yoosung☆: oh!!! Ur right! 
> 
> I'll do that right now!
> 
> You: oh wait Yoosung, I have something to tell you real quick 
> 
> About this morning
> 
> Yoosung☆: Tell me tonight when we drop off Elizabeth!!! I gotta go!!
> 
> Bye!!

He leaves before you have a chance to mention that you're with Jumin. Maybe it would be better if you just tell him in person…You shake your head, trying to focus on the bigger issue - Elizabeth is safe and on her way back! A wave of relief passes over you at the fact that she's finally coming home. She wasn't gone long, but her escape and absence have made Jumin's life exceptionally difficult. Thankfully, the hours pass by quickly. 

When Jumin arrives home, he looks anxious. Pacing back and forth across his home, he talks to you (but mostly to himself) about the progress he made at work to try and ease his mind. When you get a text from Yoosung that they're close by, Jumin gets worse.

"Jumin, please just tell me why you're so anxious." It's been a good hour of him filling the house up with nervous energy and it's starting to get to you.

"What if she doesn't want me anymore."

"What? Jumin, that's outrageous. She's Elizabeth, of course she wants to come home with you." Trying to not let his thoughts get worse you quickly shoot down his idea. "After being gone that long she'll definitely know that this right here is where she belongs." 

"She ran from me, clearly she was unhappy with living with me. She isn't coming back on her own volition, she is only returning to me because Luciel and Yoosung have - "

"Jumin." You interrupt him by gently grabbing both sides of his face. "Breathe. Just take a moment to breathe." Gazing up at him towering above you, you give him a small smile to calm him.

"I am breathing, I'm also the only one who remembers that she _chose_ to leave me." His voice is full of pain, he doesn't look like he'll cry - but the sadness in his voice almost makes you want to cry for him.

"She only left because she was in the cage, Jumin...She just felt trapped and she did what animals do when they're trapped. If given an opportunity to run, they take it." Sighing you try to make it clearer for him. "Think of it like this. Elizabeth has lived her entire fabulous life here with you. She's had all the freedom in the world to do whatever her heart desires because you provide her any and everything she wants. There was not a day in her life that she ever felt restricted or like the world wasn't anything but her kingdom. So, when that suddenly changed and she was put in a cage...I'm sure she just ran on instinct and forgot about everything else."

"She wanted to have control in her life again…" Jumin says softly.

"Yes!" You squish his cheeks a little. "Exactly, Jumin. She wants control again. Just like how you ask me to stay here with you to keep your environment stable, Elizabeth was just looking for her own stability and was trying to be free again. I'm glad you understand."

His hands reach up and pull yours away from his face. "You're saying you felt trapped here."

"Not...necessarily. I'm not projecting my experiences onto Elizabeth, I was just making a comparison between your behavior and hers. At times...I did feel a bit caged in...but it also doesn't help you have _that_." Nodding your head towards the giant empty metal cage Jumin still had, he stares at it for a few moments. "I think the cage is too much, Jumin. Elizabeth is safe here with you. She'll be happy as long as you keep giving her the love and freedom you had before all of this."

Hands still holding yours he gives a small squeeze before nodding his head in agreement. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted when his security announces that Seven and Yoosung have arrived with Elizabeth.

Releasing your hands he takes a few steps towards him and says to let them in.

You hear them before you see them, Yoosung is whining loudly and Seven is scolding him as the pair walk through the door and into Jumin's home.

"Elizabeth!" You gasp, both excited to see her and shocked to see how rough she looks.

Seven whistles and looks around, "It's been a minute since I busted into here to get to Elly, you've definitely beefed up security. Even I would have a nearly impossible time getting in here now." He is probably saying that just to make Jumin feel more secure about the safety of his home, but it is also probably very true.

"Jumin-hyung!!!! Take her!!" Yoosung cries as he hands Elizabeth to his tall friend. "She _hates_ me and I can't handle being her scratch post anymore!"

"It's Elizabeth the 3rd, not 'Elly', Luciel." Jumin corrects. "And hello to both of you." He smiles as he takes Elizabeth into his arms gently and holds her to his chest. "I cannot thank you enough for bringing her back to me."

Walking to Jumin you reach over and stroke Elizabeth's head lightly. "Where was she? She is covered in dirt, I cannot imagine the journey she's been through." 

Luciel walks over to the couch and plops down. "Zen's dream was right. She was in the forest! Not sure how she got so far away so fast though…"

"Yoosung, there's a lint roller on that counter over there." You point at a shelf for the still miserable looking blond. 

"I'm surprised she could survive out there...she's a domesticated cat, not a feral one." Jumin looks down at her in his arms and makes a worried face. "Is it possible that Glam or Sarah got someone to abandon her out there?"

"Well...that _is_ a likely scenario, but we don't have any proof." Seven says. "If we did then Papa Chairman might -"

"Might drop this arranged marriage business." Jumin finished. "That's what I was thinking too. Sarah came here the other day and claimed to have found Elizabeth the 3rd, but she showed me a photo of an entirely different cat...I don't think it's beneath her to do something like abandon her in a forest."

"Well, she's safe now!" You chime in, trying to lighten the mood. "She's back home and she won't ever be bothered by them again. No more cage and no more evil ladies trying to take advantage of her being missing."

Luciel springs up from the couch. "Oh! I didn't even notice this!" Walking over to the cage he runs a hand over the top. "Ahhh~, now we know how you managed to keep the RFA's angel in here for so long." He says with a grin.

"Not funny, Seven." Yoosung says from the side. "God! So much fur!" He cries as he frantically tries to get the hair off him.

"Seven, I stayed because I wanted to help Jumin. He didn't force me to do anything." Scratching Elizabeth under her chin you continue. "Jumin was nice enough to let me stay here and I think he'll be a lot better now. Besides, now that Elizabeth is back, I can leave knowing Jumin will be okay." 

"You're leaving already?" Jumin looks down at you with sad eyes. "I was hoping you'd stay to help clean Elizabeth the 3rd."

"No way!" Seven walks up and wraps an arm around your shoulders. "She's been here long enough and it's time for her to go home, dude. You've got Elly - "

"Elizabeth the 3rd."

"Yeah, she's back now and the party is _tomorrow_ and she needs. To. Go. Home." Seven wears a mostly fake serious face, but you know he means what he's saying.

Jumin's eyes go from yours, to Seven's, to his arm on your shoulder, and then down to Elizabeth in his own arms. With a sigh he looks at you once again. "I'm afraid that if you leave me now, you'll never come back."

"D'awww!" Seven moves behind you and pulls his arm back, only to put a hand on both shoulders and lean in to your ear, saying in a fake whisper that they all can hear, "I think Jumin is saying he'll miss you~, how sweet. Might as well give 'im a kiss goodbye." He chuckles.

There's a loud "Ah!" from Yoosung, likely because Seven didn't know about your feelings for Jumin and didn't know how nervous that would have made you before. "Seven!! Stop that! Ugh, you always take things too far!" He grabs the laughing redhead by his jacket and pulls him away from you. "Jeez, let's just leave now, okay?"

You step closer to Jumin, reaching up to grab his face once again and smile at him - knowing full well Yoosung and Seven are watching in shocked silence. "I won't be anywhere you can't reach me, there's no need to worry. I'll see you at the party, but I'll miss you too. Bye, Elizabeth. Bye, Jumin." Standing on your toes and pulling him down to your level, you place a quick peck on his lips and pull away before he has a chance to deepen it. You spin and walk towards the door, passing Yoosung and Seven whose jaws are practically on the floor and eyes wide in surprise. "C'mon, guys. Let's get out of here so Jumin can spend time with Elizabeth." 

-

The car ride to your apartment was noisy and full of laughs. You told them both what happened with Sarah and how Jumin still plans to talk to his dad about ending talks about an arranged marriage. You also say that you both weren't official yet, but that at the very least Jumin and you were _going_ to be exclusive soon. The two show their support for your still new relationship and Seven jokes that Zen is going to watch Jumin like a hawk from now on. "You'll be lucky if he lets you visit Jumin's place again."

"Well, I sure hope he lets me. I don't think Jumin will like my bed if he sleeps at my apartment. His bed is _very_ comfortable."

"Yuck, I don't want to think about Jumin's bed!" Yoosung says, making a disgusted face. 

When you finally make it home you fall back into your bed and stare at the ceiling trying to break down everything that happened these past few days. You're interrupted by a text from Jumin. 

Sitting up you open the message and are greeted with a blurry selfie of Jumin and a newly cleaned Elizabeth. Hugging your phone to your chest you roll around your bed and squeal, finally letting your pent up energy and excitement out. He's charming, sexy as hell, intelligent, kind, and funny...but he's also _so_ damn cute. 

> You: I'm glad she's clean and safe! I miss you already so so sooo much!
> 
> Also, you mentioned something about your dad earlier. What did you say?
> 
> Jumin Han: We both miss you. And, I have something planned with my father. You've inspired me to do something, you'll know it when you see it.

On your back you stare up at the ceiling above you and try to think of what on Earth Jumin was planning. _Will it involve cats? Zen won't be happy if it does…well, at least Elizabeth is back now._

Sighing happily, your eyes slip closed and you're thankful that at least one problem is solved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, this was soooo fun to writeeeee I love this man!!! I seriously don't like Jumin's dad lol he straight up ignored him and focused on all his wives and girlfriends! Trash!!!  
> Shout out to all my girl friends for always getting crazy levels of horny when they drink wine - I don't like to drink so I had to ask all my friends wtf wine is like looool  
> I am not sure if Jumin is vague about the gender of his previous lovers when he says it in Korean, but the fact it was translated to be gender neutral is enough for me to be very glad he is a BI (or pan) KING!!!


	10. The party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party is finally here! Everything is going as planned until...Jumin continues what you can only assume is his reenactment of VERY dramatic TV dramas.

Finally, the day of the party. Excitement buzzed energetically in your stomach from the moment you woke up because  _ god  _ it was finally here. After everything that had happened these past few months and especially this week, it feels like a miracle that it all came together.

Luckily, you were able to finalize all the little details and prep while at Jumin's place, so you got a chance to just rest when you got home. You woke up early enough that your bed begged you to continue sleeping, but the party was just in seven hours and you had to be there early to make sure everything was perfect. Before leaving, you pack your outfit in a large bag and eat a light breakfast with some tea. There are some errands you need to run before you head over to the venue, and you run through your mental list as you leave your apartment. 

A few hours after running around you stop to catch your breath and check the messenger, and you're greeted by your equally excited members.

> 707: Look who decided to join us lololol how is the RFA's heartbreaker doing today?
> 
> Yoosung☆: Seven;; that doesn't even make sense…
> 
> Jaehee Kang: Good morning, did you sleep well?
> 
> ZEN: She must have, she finally escaped Jumin's place!
> 
> You: where is Jumin? He's usually dressed and ready for the day by this time.
> 
> 707: omg…
> 
> ZEN: I hate that you know little details like that now.
> 
> 707: was there a lot of undressing the night before?
> 
> Yoosung☆: SEVEN!!
> 
> ZEN: dude;; so gross 
> 
> Jaehee Kang: I'd rather not hear that stuff about my boss…
> 
> Haa...but you're right, he's usually up by this time. I'm sure he's still getting ready.
> 
> You: Jumin! When you read this, tell Elizabeth I said "hi" and give her a kiss for me!
> 
> ZEN: He never did thank me for giving him info on where to get the fur ball 
> 
> 707: lolololol you talking about your dream practically caused all this lololol 
> 
> ZEN: …

It was about four hours until the start of the party, so you made your way there to get things ready for setup. You're the first to arrive so you use your key to get in and lock the door behind you, wanting to take a moment to look at the empty space before everything starts. When your phone buzzes with a notification that the flowers will be arriving in two hours, you focus on changing in one of the bathrooms before anyone else arrives. 

Jaehee is the first RFA member to arrive and help get things organized. She tells you that Jumin is supposed to be coming later, and that she's thankful that you convinced him to come to the office. 

"I thought I was dreaming when he walked in, I seriously thought it was too good to be true." She says in a mystified yet tired voice. Although her appearance is well kept and she looks perfect, you know your friend well enough to tell that she's probably still very tired.

"Aw, Jaehee...I wish I could have visited him sooner. You both were having such a hard time these past few months, I'm so sorry I couldn't be much of a help." Placing a hand on her shoulder you try to comfort the woman and give an apologetic smile.

"You did more than enough for that trust fund jerk!" A voice calls out. Turning you see Zen walking up, looking as charming as ever. "He kept you locked up like a princess in a castle! I almost had to be your prince and save you from the dragon!" He says dramatically and strikes a heroic pose. 

"Hi, Zen. Good to see you too." You laugh. "I should tell you both right now though before anything starts." You bite your lip and glance between the two whose focus is entirely on you. Before you lose your courage you speak fast. "Jumin and I are gonna start dating." You admit to a now shocked Jaehee and an angry Zen. Holding your hands up defensively, you continue. "Before either of you say anything, he didn't force me to do anything. I've had feelings for him for...well, for a long time and I didn't know he felt the same until a few days ago. It kinda just...happened. i should have said something sooner, but I mean...I didn't feel comfortable just announcing it in the messenger..."

"Oh, you  _ definitely  _ can't go back to the dragon, princess!" Zen practically shouts. "My god! Jumin? You mean you and Jumin Han! Is this another bad dream? Jaehee, quick - pinch me." He holds an arm up to her.

"No, thank you." Jaehee puts a hand up to move his arm away. "But...the timing couldn't make it look worse. Are you sure he isn't...using you as a replacement for Elizabeth?" Jaehee is hesitant to ask and wants to be as delicate as she can. She is asking a valid question. Not only was Jumin unwavering in his "I-never-show-my-emotions-all-I-need-is-logic" act his entire life, but the moment he suddenly seems like he is capable of human emotion he decides to date the most emotionally put-together RFA member? To an outside eye, it  _ does _ just look like Jumin is using you as a therapist and not ready for an actual relationship.

"I'm positive he isn't, Jaehee. I was worried about that too at first, but after talking with him and spending so much time with him I feel…" you fiddle with your hands, nervously trying to find the right words, "I feel like we've connected on a deeper level…"

Zen makes a gagging noise and you give him a playful whack on the chest. "I can't believe Jumin was even able to connect with anyone...let alone  _ you _ ! You're so in touch with your feelings, but I swear Jumin is a rock!"

"I'm surprised too...Mr. Han never expressed any interest in...well, anybody. This is the first time I've heard the words "Jumin" and "dating" used in a sentence that wasn't from a gossip columnist…" Jaehee is still trying to be polite, but is clearly very surprised too. "Oh, but congratulations on the new relationship. See if you can convince him to keep working."

"And give Jaehee a few days off." Zen butts in.

"Trust me, I have every intention of fixing how poorly he treats my one and only Jaehee!" You pull her into a hug and give her a tight squeeze. "Thanks for being so supportive all the time. You're the best!"

A few hours pass until Seven and Yoosung arrive together, although you're surprised Yoosung was willing to ride with Seven after all that complaining he did yesterday. "Oh! There she is! The future Mrs. Han!" Seven shouts across the hall with Yoosung loudly nagging him as they walk up.

"Oh, jeez. Don't say that again, you'll definitely put an idea in Jumin's head that I am very much not ready for." You say as you embrace the duo. "Where is Jumin anyways? The party is in an hour and he isn't here yet...even his security got here before him…"

Nearly everything was ready, all they needed were the guests and Jumin then the party would be all ready.

"I've tried calling him but he texted a while ago and said he'll be arriving when it starts." Jaehee chimes in. 

You sigh and hum a moment. "I guess it's pretty childish if I'm focused on my boyfriend when there's a whole party to worry about." You laugh. But, you can't help yourself and catch yourself watching the clock and glancing to look at the front door, hoping to see Jumin step through.

"Noona, do you want to be the one to greet guests instead of me?" Yoosung grabs your attention. "I know you want to see him, I can take over for you."

"Ah, am I being that obvious? It's fine, thank you. I guess I didn't know how nervous I'd be without him here. He's always been here when people need him, y'know? He's really reliable...which is why it's weird he isn't here." It was easier to admit these feelings to Yoosung than any of the others, probably because he's known about how you've felt about Jumin the longest.

Before long, guests begin arriving and there is a mob of press waiting outside. When you ask Jaehee who invited them, she tells you that Jumin asked her to call them just last night.  _ What is this man up to? _

"It's Glam Choi!" A voice shouts and there are dozens of flashes from cameras and overlapping questions. 

Shifting your weight between your feet nervously, you watch from a distance as Glam Choi, Sarah, and Chairman Han walk through. You don't want to see any of them and your nerves multiply.  _ Jumin, where are you? _

Fully aware that you should avoid Sarah seeing you, you busy yourself and stay out of sight. It's only a few minutes later when you hear reporters frantically shouting "Jumin Han" that you feel your anxiety ease up. Taking a peek into the hall from the kitchen, you see Jumin stepping up to the stage and going towards the microphone. He typically is the one who starts off the party by greeting everyone and briefly going over what the plan is. You squeeze your way out of the kitchen and stand next to the fellow members who are lined up in the furthest side of the hall away from guests and reporters. 

"He is a little late, but Jumin-hyung is here!" Yoosung shoots you a wide smile when you reach the group and you smile back, genuinely relieved to see Jumin up there.

"Good afternoon, everyone." Jumin begins. "Today's party, hosted by the RFA, is held to help those in need. However, before that, I'd like to apologize for starting the party with my personal news."

The members swap worried glances between each other and continue listening.

"The reporters here might not really know, but the RFA party is held to help those who are neglected, those in unfortunate situations where happiness is barely touchable. We auction off a variety of items, most notably the famous photographer V's pieces to donate the profit and support foundations. But, I have invited people who are not related to the party: my father, Glam Choi, Sarah, and all of you reporters...That was all done to announce a very important piece of news to everyone."

"Jaehee", you whisper, "do you know what he's planning?" Anxiety creeping up, you don't know what the man is plotting.

"I was hoping you did...I have no idea what he's planning but I'm going to take an aspirin right now because I have a feeling I'll get a headache later…" she whispers back looking very tired.

Jumin begins playing with his cufflinks so you know he's nervous too. Whatever he's planning, it's big enough to put him on edge…that thought alone makes you break into a nervous sweat.

"Just until a while ago, I was skeptical about love. My goal was to prove myself by being as efficient as possible and I didn't know how to truly appreciate, take care of, encourage, and thank other people. I was never interested in love...but there's one person who taught me that it's much more important to share emotions and love rather than finish my tasks."

You feel an elbow nudge you and catch Seven grinning at you. "Isn't he just a charmer? He's so good with his words." You bat his arm away and shush him with a smile, nerves settling just a tad but still lingering.

"I couldn't help but fall in love with this beautiful person who warmed up my stone-cold heart."

Grabbing Jaehee's arm you gasp. Looking at her for confirmation your lips move silently and mouth "love?", with her silently nodding her head and looking as surprised as you. You knew he had feelings for you but you didn't know he  _ loved _ you. He really just dropped the "L" bomb to a bunch of reporters before telling you in private. This man...

"I achieved immense financial and social success at a very young age. And now I would like to work on building a family, and a loving home."

You and Jaehee exchange glances feeling something very big coming. Zen walks over to your other side and whispers in your ear, "Listen, if your boyfriend proposes up there I'm gonna punch him for being crazy." For a lot of reasons (including Zen's promise), you  _ really _ hoped he wasn't about to propose. 

"In order to enter this new chapter in my life...I would like to resign from my position as Director of C&R."

As the mob of reporters go wild, the members all collectively turn to look at Jaehee, who looks positively livid. 

"What are your future plans?" A reporter shouts.

"I plan to discuss that with my girlfriend." Jumin replies plainly and continues answering their questions.

"Jaehee…" You look at her and place an arm on her shoulder. "I truly had no idea, if I knew I would've told you right away." 

She exhales sharply. "What in the world is this?!" Her arm gestures towards the reporters across the hall, not talking to any of the members specifically but just very angry. "Mr. Han is resigning?!"

The members circle around her, trying to calm her down from running up to Jumin and using one of her judo moves on him. There's more commotion from the reporters and Jumin is still talking, but your attention is stolen when you hear a familiar voice behind you speak.

"Jumin sure knows how to throw a party."

The small group all turn and see a mint-haired, tall man standing by with a wide smile. He must have silently come in when Jumin was talking because everyone is shocked. 

"V!? What are you doing here?" You're stunned, no one had heard from him in months and he never mentioned anything about attending the party.

"It's Jihyun now." He says walking up and embracing you fully. Pulling back slightly, he moves a hand up to lightly brush his fingers against your cheek, making you freeze. "I've missed you. I'm sorry I was gone so long…" His eyes gaze deeply into yours for a few moments and you're stuck trying to comprehend just what the hell is happening.

As fast as lightning, Zen moves to pull Jihyun away from you and wraps an arm around him, quickly tossing you a worried look before guiding the man away towards some of the food. Still frozen in place, you jump when you hear Yoosung calling your name. 

"What? God...sorry, Yoosung, say that again - I didn't hear you."

"I said V - I mean, Jihyun didn't come alone...look at Seven." He nods his head towards the entrance and your legs almost give out when your eyes land on the bleached white hair you haven't seen in over two years.

"Oh my god...is that...oh my god." Tears begin to well up in your eyes. "Ray? Oh my god." Ray, the mysterious hacker that fell for you as he and Rika kept you imprisoned at Mint Eye. He had supposedly died in the explosion and despite everything that had happened, you still mourned and regretted not being able to save him like Rika. Although wobbly at first, the strength in your legs gradually build when Yoosung gives your back a gentle pat, you walk towards the hackers - leaving Jaehee and Yoosung to watch after Jumin.

When you reach them your voice cracks as you speak, "Ray? Is that you? Is that really you?"

The pair look at you, both with wet faces from crying and still embracing each other. Seven sniffs and sobs before starting, "His name is Saeran. He's my brother." He turns to look at the man. "Oh my god, I thought you were dead. Oh my god." Embracing him again, Seven's voice is muffled as he sobs.

"It's you...you're okay...even after all that." Saeran's eyes were full of tears as he did his best to contain his own cries, but wasn't doing a very good job of it. "I'm so glad." 

You weren't doing much better, your own tears were mere moments away from falling and your breath hitched. You had always had complicated feelings about Saeran, he tricked you and kept you imprisoned at Mint Eye with Rika...but he was a victim that was caught in V and Rika's trouble. Most of your feelings were unresolved and you always felt haunted by that fact because...you thought he died. But there he was, right in front of you again. You had so much to say, so much to ask. 

A tap on your shoulder brings you back to the present and you turn to see Zen. "Hey, sorry to pull you away from...uh, whatever this is...but we have a situation. I think you need to come back over…"

Never a single moment of peace in the RFA or its party…

You give the pair a small wave and promise to make time to talk to them once you're free again. Walking back to the hall you see a very nervous looking Glam Choi next to Jumin facing the reporters. 

"Jumin, the reporters will misunderstand if you discuss something that hasn't been decided yet, hahaha...I think he went a bit too far while thinking of marrying Sarah...everyone, the last few statements are not official!" Glam announces trying to salvage the situation. She motions for Sarah to come closer.

Jumin looks at the two women up and down before continuing. "Both of you are here, I'm glad. Everyone, please focus on these two women. This is Glam Choi, my father's girlfriend and her sister, Sarah Choi." 

"Oh, jeez…" you watch in a mix of fascination and exhaustion at the fact things are about to get a lot more chaotic. Looking at Zen you shake your head. "There's basically nothing I can do to stop this...all we can do is...watch and see what happens, I guess."

Trying to correct Jumin, Glam insists that Sarah is her student, not her sister. But, as diligent as ever, Jumin notes various pieces of evidence that deny Glam's claim. "Glam and Sarah Choi, go ahead and deny the fact you are sisters in front of dozens of cameras."

"Yeesh!" Zen whispers. "Jumin definitely watches way too many dramas...he really did all that for this?"

Jumin continues to plot out the scheme that Glam and her sister played, sparing no detail. Sure enough, just like a drama, Glam dramatically runs from the reporters and is confronted by Chairman Han - who looks furious. 

"God, I wish I had some popcorn." Yoosung pops up next to you with a still angry Jaehee. "Jumin-hyung is putting on a nice show."

It doesn't take very long for the sisters to leave - knowing full well that they're going to court - and Chairman Han leaves at the same time. Jumin calls for security to clear out the reporters and you see him follow his guards out the door.

"I hate to interrupt the free entertainment Jumin set up...but...can I steal her away for a moment?" Jihyun walks up and places a hand on your shoulder. 

"Ummm…" Zen looks around a bit, probably trying to come up with an excuse to get you out of that. Overprotective about you alone with men as always, mama hen Zen will always do his best to scare off any potential wolves.

"Jihyun," you say hesitantly, his name still new to you. "Can we talk later, maybe after the party? It isn't even 12:30 yet, but we have hours until it ends. I promise we'll have a chance to talk in private later." 

When he agrees, you use the opportunity to properly greet the guests and go over the schedule before excusing yourself and encouraging them to mingle until the next event planned in thirty minutes. Walking down the steps you see Zen and Yoosung giving you nervous smiles. 

"What's wrong...you guys look like you're about to tell me bad news…"

"Well…" Yoosung starts and looks up at Zen who makes a face. "So, us and V - er...I mean, us and Jihyun are the only other members here...Jumin must have left with his dad and Jaehee left right after...Seven ditched me and so, uh…"

"Us three have to run the party." You finish feeling a heavy weight land on your shoulders. "I'd say four, but he's been MIA for so long that he doesn't know how to run one…' you sigh. "Alright, fellas. We've done a lot of crazy things before, let's get this handled like we always do." You say flashing a confident smile. 

And you do. Somehow. The three of you manage the guests, the events, and troubleshooting any issues that happened during the party. Stopping to take the occasional group selfie, or have Jihyun take a photo, you all plan to spam the messenger later on. It'll be punishment for abandoning you four without warning. 

It's nearing sunset by the time everything ends and the hall is as empty as it was when you arrived. Jihyun pulls away from the small group, excusing himself to answer a call. 

"God, and did you see the old lady all over Zen-hyung? I was convinced she was gonna try to steal you away!" Yoosung laughs.

"Please don't joke about that…" Zen sighs in a defeated tone. "I was worried too." 

Jihyun calls your name and you turn to look at him, still laughing at your friend's jokes. "What?" Jihyun looks down at his phone in confusion and pockets the device before walking up to the three of you.

"Hyun, Yoosung. Thanks for helping with the party. It was a huge success and I'm sure our favorite coordinator would've had a terrible time without you guys being here." Jihyun says in his usual calm tone. "But, I'd like some time alone with her, it's been far too long and I've kept her waiting." Wrapping an arm around your waist he pulls you to press against his side and smiles fondly at you.

The air is tense around you all but Jihyun is the only one who doesn't notice. With a nervous smile you look at the two men. "It's alright guys. It's just Jihyun. Thank you for helping, I'll catch him up on everything, it'll be okay."

Yoosung starts to say something when Zen puts a hand on his shoulder. "The princess gave us a command, as her humble servants we must obey." He says playfully and Yoosung rolls his eyes.

"Fine. Noona, we'll see you. Jihyun...it's nice to see you again." 

The two walk off together waving goodbye to you, and you tense up when you feel Jihyun's hand give your waist a light squeeze.

"I've missed you." Looking up at him you meet his mint eyes, and a rush of anxiety pumps through your body from your heart. "I was gone for so long...but, thank you for waiting. I think I'm ready now. For love. To love you like you deserve." He leans down an inch and pulls you closer.

"Ah, wait." One hand pulls his hand from your waist and the other pushes against his chest to put distance between you both. Only a few days ago you were in a similar position with Jumin, this situation with his best friend had gone on far too long. "Jihyun, I have to stop you right there."

He looks surprised at you pulling away from him so quickly, clearly not expecting you to deny his affections. "Is something wrong? I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast, I can't help myself." He says with a laugh. 

Sighing you try to decide where to start.  _ I never loved you? I'm with Jumin? Having you so close is triggering me? I don't want you to touch me? Why did you take so long to get back? Did you seriously think I'd be waiting all this time? Why did you never call me or check in with me to see if that was true? Were you aware that you asked me that when I was in a situation where it would have been inappropriate to refuse? Don't you think that's manipulative? Both Rika and I are still recovering from the time we've spent with you, we will never be together. Were you seriously thinking  _ -

Hearing your name snaps you out of your thoughts and Jihyun is waving a hand in front of your face. "You look...upset. Did I do something wrong?"

_ Yes. _

"No, sorry, Jihyun. I just...don't know where to start." Biting your lip nervously you try to be sensible and speak with kindness. "Can we sit down somewhere? Did you drive? Maybe we can talk in your car."

"Oh, um. Of course, I parked over here." Walking out to the parking lot, he guides you to a modest car that you assume is a rental. He must have only just come back to the country. 

When you're both sitting down, you lean your head back and take a few deep breaths to settle yourself. Staring straight ahead, you watch as the sun inches closer and closer to the horizon. A smile crawls onto your lips.

"Y'know, Yoosung told me something important one time. He told me that if you look down at Earth from a star, you'd be seeing what it looked like in the past, but when you look at the sky from Earth you see what the atmosphere looks like in the present. He said that the past and present are one in the sky." 

Jihyun turns from watching the sun to looking at you. "That's romantic."

Your smile fades and you think of that first time you saw Rika in the hospital. "But...I also know very well that if I spend all my time staring at the sky, life will pass right by me. I'll miss what's important and what I should look forward to. I can't be staring at stars and suns all the time…"

"You're saying I'm the sun?" He tries to translate your words to understand what you're telling him. 

_ Maybe I've spent too much time with Rika...her way of speaking so vaguely is starting to rub off on me… _

"No, you're a human, Jihyun. No one could ever dream to have an influence as powerful as the sun." You hum. "I guess I'm saying that I can't be focusing on the past. I know I made a promise to you back then." Pulling your eyes from the horizon you look at Jihyun who is studying you intently. "Jihyun, so much has happened since then. It's been  _ two years _ . I've changed. What I want...what I  _ thought  _ I wanted back then, it isn't what I want anymore." 

"I see…" 

"I think I confused my feelings of gratitude that you saved me for romantic feelings, Jihyun. I was trapped there for eight days. It was hard, it was so scary. And you and the RFA were there for me when I needed you to be. You were there at the scariest time." Placing a hand on his shoulder you continue. "But then you left. And I realized that I was confused. And the hardest part wasn't those eight days...it was  _ recovering  _ from them. That's when I needed the most help. And the members were all so helpful, especially Jumin."

"Jumin?" Jihyun asks.

Pulling your hand back, you settle for mindlessly playing with them in your lap and a smile forms on your lips. "Yeah...Jumin was there. He was always there to comfort me. Sometimes I'd wake up from a nightmare and login to the messenger, and it would be just him and I. Or I'd call him when I was really anxious and he'd tell me what Elizabeth was doing. He'd send me these real cute blurry photos of things he saw throughout the week and I don't even know if he did it to cheer me up, but it did." You chuckle at some of the memories. "He always knows how to make me laugh and remind me that everything is okay now. That I'm safe and healthy, and that everything that happened before is in the past." 

"He always has been very reliable. Although, this is the first time I'm hearing this kind of praise about Jumin from anyone." Jihyun hesitates. "What I'm getting from this is that you have feelings for him."

Turning to look in his eyes again, you speak firmly to leave no room for confusion. "I love Jumin. And I have been for a little over a year now. He and I are together now, and I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to tell you sooner."

For a moment there's a flash of shock in his eyes that quickly shift to a softer gaze as he gives you a sad smile. "I suppose that's my fault...I was away for so long I didn't give you an opportunity to do so. And, although it hurts a bit - I won't lie, I'm happy for you. You and Jumin. This...wasn't what I was expecting, but just know that all I've ever wanted was for all the RFA members to be happy." Looking back towards the horizon he sighs. "Jumin is quite a lucky man...he called me earlier and I said something embarrassing...I didn't know you were with him." He makes a pained expression. "I should give him a call after I drop you off at your apartment."

"Actually, I was hoping you could drop me off at Jumin's. I have to talk to him and I'd rather see him to make sure he's okay." 

"Oh, you mean about him leaving C&R." Jihyun grabs the keys and starts the car. "I could tell he didn't warn anyone about that decision." He says with a small laugh.

"That and a few other things...mostly, I just need to see if he's okay. He's had a rough few months and this past week has been exceptionally difficult for him. I'd feel better if I saw him in person."

"I'd rather not intrude on a happy couple, so I'll drop you off and call Jumin to talk later. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect, thank you Jihyun. I'm glad you're back. The RFA feels a lot more complete now."

"Glad to be back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept writing, deleting, and re-writing this chapter. It was a doozy. I had to put Jumin's normal end and fuse it with Jihyun's final day lmao. Jihyun is a good sport about it all, he is very easy to write because of his personality. I REALLY wanted to get more into Saeran in this fic but it never felt organic for this. I did my best to give all the characters some justice but I will admit that I really left Jaehee and Saeran in the dust which is such a shame!!!


	11. Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jumin's threads wrap so tightly around him to the brink of suffocation. Who ever said "it is better to have loved and loss than to never love at all" was a fool.

"V, you answered." Jumin held the phone to his ear as he stepped into his home, Elizabeth running up to greet him with a chirp. He reaches down at the small cat weaving her way between his legs and gives her a light scratch before walking further in. "I need to meet with you as soon as possible. We should talk about - "

"Sorry, Jumin." His friend says with a laugh. "No can do. Before anything, I should talk to my love. I've kept her waiting far too long." Jumin hears his friend call her name and he hears the sound of her laughing with him.

He ends the call without a word, feeling the weight of gravity crashing onto him.  _ What in the world? _

His love? Surely, he must be mistaken. There is no way she...but at the party she didn't pull away from him when he held her like  _ that _ . When he stroked her cheek like Jumin wanted. She didn't correct him just now in the call - she  _ laughed _ . But there's no way. She already chose  _ him _ . She was just here with him. He just left his position as Director for her, to be with her and not agonize over how his interpersonal business would interfere with C&R. She assured him that she's with him…

_ She didn't correct Yoosung either. _

That's right. He was still upset about that. She didn't tell anyone about their relationship. Sure, she kissed him in front of Luciel and Yoosung, but that was only after Luciel suggested it. He has no idea if she would have done it if he hadn't teased her. She said she cared for him, but was that really true?

If so, why was she with V? 

And V...he's back? The last he heard, V was in Alaska and had not stated any intention to return anytime soon. He was away for  _ two damn years _ and swoops in to steal her away from him? 

No. No, that's not right. She was no object to be stolen or taken away. She is an independent, free-living human...who previously promised to wait for him until his return.

And she did. She picked him over Jumin.

His limbs, weak and trembling, search for something to keep him from falling over. His vision was unreliable and he couldn't breathe.  _ Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to die?  _ Hands grasping onto something, he weakly guides himself to sit, not entirely perceiving the world around him. It felt like everything was spinning and his body was on fire. His chest burned from what felt like knives blades that were resting in the pits of hell stabbed repeatedly at his lungs.

It was happening again. This deep sense of overwhelming agony and despair washed over him, they grew arms and ripped his own beating heart from his pained chest. He tried to reach for it but could only watch in muted horror as the beasts tore it apart in front of him. Once again, he lost to V. Once again, the woman he longs for picked V. 

Didn't she say she wanted him? She never once mentioned V, so why did she pick him? What did he mean to her, and what did V mean to her? What did he do wrong? What does V have that Jumin lacks?

His own voice chokes out past his open lips between heavy pants. "He has...a heart. He...isn't a monster." 

That's right. Jumin was right all along. His whole life he had buried the truth so deep within. His desires for control, for validation, for acceptance - each of them manifesting as blood red threads. All balled up into an unlovable monster in his heart. His anxieties, his fears, his nightmares, and worst thoughts all rage inside that creature - it is his true self. Before, he thought Rika had been able to see the threaded demon inside him, and he thought she accepted him in spite of his horrid, tangled form. This time, he was almost certain you saw it. You must have, you had seen it come out firsthand and yet you still looked up at him with loving eyes and held him so gently in your arms. You assured him that you were going to stay with him. But you lied. And he was wrong. Both of them saw his monster and fled to V. Because unlike Jumin, V had no such monster. This was the fate of beasts like him. There aren't happy stories about princesses falling for the monsters that trapped them in dungeons, so why did Jumin ever expect anything different?

Tremors shook his body as he sobbed, hands holding his head as he hunched over. He was heartbroken. He never felt this much pain before. Because in the past it was pain stemming from the thought that he'd never get to experience love with you, it was that he'd never hear you say you care for him. But this time it hurt so much more than before. Because he  _ had _ experienced what it  _ could _ have been like. What life  _ could _ have been like with you, what loving you  _ could _ have felt like. He saw it as clear as day. He had already planned over two dozen dates he wanted to take you on, he imagined what gifts he'd like to buy you, he thought of ways to surprise you and make you laugh, he dreamed of doing any and everything to let you know how deeply in love with you he was. He wanted to cherish you, to uplift you, to support you, to energize you. He wanted to love every bit of you, even the parts you were ashamed of. He was ready to start a life with you. He threw life as he knew it away, all to be with you. 

And you chose V.

Jumin doesn't know how long he sits there sobbing at his loss. When he runs out of tears, his head aches and he looks around with more clear vision and sees the sun has dropped below the horizon and the moon is starting to rise. His breath was finally slowing and his pants slowly turned to a steady, calm rhythm. A small mewl next to him causes his head to turn and he sees his furry white companion sitting next to him. "Elizabeth…" he reaches a weak hand over to lightly stroke her head. Looking around, he finally takes in his surroundings. He had somehow managed to make it to his couch before his crying fit. He's glad he did or else he would have likely fallen over if he had stayed standing.

The house is silent except for the sounds of his cats' purring and the fishtank's filtering system. She steps over and lays on his lap and he resumes petting her, moving from her head and down the rest of her body. His mind is blank and all he can think is that he's glad he gave her a good bath last night. Jumin feels far more exhausted than he did the last time he felt this way. What, was it only a few days ago? How much has this single week aged him? 

Elizabeth jumps down from his lap and walks towards his bed when there's a knock on his door. Eyes still raw from crying go from his cat to the security guard standing in his entryway looking at him.

"Mr. Han? Your girlfriend is here for you, should we let her in?" 

Before he even realized it, the mere thought of you brought a relieved smile to his face and filled him with ease. He flinches when he remembers that you were the reason for his agony mere moments ago. How is it that your influence remains so strong, always filling him with soft light. 

He clears his dry throat. "No. Send her away. I'm very busy, I have to finalize my resignation." He says as he moves to stand up, you already made your choice there was no need to see you.

"Um...Mr. Han, she really wants to see you…" the man says hesitantly.

Jumin straightens up and crosses his arms, trying to decide what to do. It was unlike him to leave things on vague terms, it was bad business practice to not have clear and well defined actions. "Alright, fine. Send her in. It won't be very long."  _ If she wants a formal break up, then that's what I'll do. _

Moments later you walk through the door and Jumin wants to kick himself for how his heart leaps with joy in his chest at the sight of you. Even when you've hurt him so deeply, he can't help but love you.

You walk in smiling wide and eyes shining, but you stop only a few steps into his home and gasp when you see him. "Oh my god, Jumin. You've been crying, I should have gotten here sooner. Oh, gosh." Placing your items on the floor you quickly rush towards him and reach up to hold his face.

His hands grab your own and pull them down and away before you touch him. "Stop. You've said you have come to see me. Now you've seen me, it's time for you to leave." He says coldly.

With eyes full of confusion and concern, you gaze up at him. "What? Jumin, wait - I came here to talk. I think - "

"Oh, yes. I have something to say." He interrupts as he releases your hands and steps away from you walking towards the kitchen to get water for his aching throat. "We're done. I see very clearly now that you and V are happy together, so there is no need to pester me any longer. Congratulations on your new relationship. Give V my best. Goodbye." 

There's silence and Jumin fights the ache in his heart at his own words. He hears hurried footsteps behind him and a harsh yank on his arm stops him from entering his kitchen. 

"Jumin, what the  _ fuck _ is that supposed to mean?!" You look up at him with a pained expression and anger in your eyes. He's never seen you angry before and a twinge of guilt bursts in his chest for a brief moment. "What are you saying? Explain yourself!"

He pulls his arm from your grasp with a bitter laugh. "Me? Explain myself? That's rich. I've been nothing but clear about my intentions and feelings, if anything  _ I'm  _ the one that is owed an explanation for what you've done."

"Jumin!" Your voice is pleading. "I don't know what you're saying, please."

Scoffing he shakes his head in disbelief. "Is it not enough to ruin me? Is it not enough to break my heart, but now you want to hear how badly you've hurt me? I didn't take you for a sadist." Your eyes look up at him in shock and you push your lips tightly together to stop them from trembling. "Fine, then." He continues. "I thought we were on the same page. I thought we were going to start a life together. I took your advice about my father, about the situation with Glam and Sarah, about Elizabeth. I followed your words because  _ you _ made me believe that you'd be there for me if I did so. And - "

"Jumin, wait." You try to interrupt but Jumin shuts you down taking a step towards you, using his height to tower over you.

"And imagine my surprise when I'm doing what I thought was best for  _ us _ , and I see you in V's arms. But I fight my feelings back, trying not to make any assumptions for fear that I may misinterpret the situation. Only to have my greatest fear come to life when V announces himself as your lover. I cannot ima- "

"He  _ WHAT _ ?!" You shout, making Jumin startled enough to take a step back. "Oh my god." Bringing your hands to your face you hang your head down groaning before you continue. "That's what he meant when he said something embarrassing to you." 

"Were you not aware? You laughed right as he said it." Jumin challenges.

"Of course I didn't know, Jumin! I'd never let him get away with that - I was probably laughing at a joke Yoosung or Zen said because they stayed behind since being around Jihyun made me nervous!" You groan and toss your head up pouting with a sigh. "No woman wants a man she hardly knows all over her like that, especially a woman in a relationship." 

Jumin's hard stare with his emotionless expression basically gives you a clear sign that you should explain some more. 

"Jumin. I told Jihyun that you and I are together. That we're committed to each other." Seeing Jumin's eyes widen you feel slightly relieved and continue. "I told him that I realized very early on that I misread my own feelings for him as romantic, and that it was actually me feeling grateful that he and Seven helped me escape Mint Eye." 

"You...didn't pick V." Jumin states in a stunned voice. "You picked me?"

"Oh god, Jumin, Jihyun was never an option I wanted. It wasn't that I picked you over him, it's more like…" you pause trying to find the courage to finally confess how embarrassingly long you've been stuck on the man. "Well…ugh, you're gonna think I'm such a creep."

"It's like what?" Jumin presses.

Heart racing, your anger and confusion was rapidly being replaced with nervousness. You kept the truth pent up for so long and it just didn't seem normal for a grown woman to have such youthful fantasies for as long as you have. "I may have started to, uh,...kinda sorta...fall in love with you...and have been in love with you for like...a year and a half…?" 

You say it like a question, essentially too embarrassed at the fact you've been secretly pining for Jumin for so long and him entirely unaware. What started off as a harmless crush slowly morphed into full blown love not long after you told Yoosung it was "just a crush". At the time it was, but your feelings got deeper and more serious after you finally said them out loud. That was probably the extent that you were willing to admit - you'd rather die than tell him about how you'd daydream about kissing him, or fantasize about holding his hand as you both walk around the city, or when you'd imagine how you'd spend holidays with him, or think up wild scenarios where you'd finally have a chance to confess. You weren't ready to tell him the depth of your feelings. That when he smiled your heart soared, that when he was in pain you felt it too, that almost daily you tried to think up different ways to cheer him up these past few months. "Jumin." You sigh, holding all those memories back and trying your best from having them pour out and you feel ashamed for how badly you wanted the man to be yours. "I'm saying I'm in lo- oh my god you're crying." You say with a gasp.

Before he could do anything he felt your hands cup his face and fingers wipe away tears he wasn't even aware he was shedding. He didn't think he could produce anymore tears after the hours he spent crying before you arrived. But there he was, tears streaming down his face, being coaxed open, and vulnerable in the arms of the love of his life. With a soothing voice you decide to throw it all out there and tell him what you haven't dared to let anyone hear, shoving back all fear and embarrassment. Jumin needed to hear it, needed confirmation of your love and affirmation that he deserved to be loved honestly and openly. No matter how silly it felt to say out loud, he had to know you meant what you said. During your confession, his chest heaves with the force of his deep pants as he tries to calm his heart that is slamming painfully in his chest. Pulling him closer to you, you reach one hand to slip to the back of his head and press gently to guide his ear closer to you as you whisper to him. His arms wrap around under yours and squeeze tightly enough to make you gasp, but not too tightly that it hurts. When you run out of words, you press kisses to his face and repeat "I love you" over and over, letting him hear you say it and hoping to calm him. Gradually his breaths even out and soften, his grip around you loosens and you feel him coming back.

"Jumin?" You whisper in his ear softly hoping he's down to Earth again.

"I am such a fool. I am so sorry." His voice is hoarse and thick from crying, he's probably spent hours crying before you arrived and he spent an extra few minutes crying in your arms just now. The fact that you were the sole cause for his tears made your heart twist painfully in your chest. "When I saw you with him, I just felt these threads again...and then again when he called I…" he takes a shaky breath in and swallows hard. "God...I was so afraid I lost you...that you ran from me." Pulling away to look into your eyes you see how much agony he is in. His eyes tinted red and still wet with a burning face and crumpled in a pained expression you never thought he could ever wear. "I am so sorry, my love. Truly."

_ Threads? He's said something like that before. What does he mean? _

"Jumin, no." Your voice quivers and you feel your bottom lip tremble. "It's my fault. I should have been honest about my feelings so much sooner. I'm a coward, I was so afraid of what might have happened...and I should have made my intentions of being with  _ only _ you more clear. You're right, I was too vague and because of that, I hurt you." You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and Jumin waits patiently for you before you continue. "I should have corrected Yoosung in the chat room, I should have told Jihyun the truth the moment he grabbed me at the party. Hell, I should have told the other members about us after you kissed me. Because I wanted to. I  _ really _ wanted to. After you kissed me, all I wanted was to jump and scream and kiss you some more." You say with a laugh and wipe away some of the tears forming in your eyes. Both hands weave into his hair and he sighs at your touch. "I am so so so sooooo sorry, Jumin. I will work as hard as I possibly can to make sure I never  _ ever _ hurt you this badly again. I promise with all that I am, I will do everything I can to be better to you - I mean it."

Jumin pulls a hand from your waist and holds a pinky up. "Pinky promise?" He asks with a sniffle and tired yet loving eyes. Even now, the man could somehow manage to make you love him even more.

Through your tears you chuckle and wrap a pinky around one of his own. "Pinky promise." Leaning up, you place a kiss against his jaw and begin to feel how heavy the air is around the both of you. You both needed to decompress. "Jumin," you say as you try to clear your throat, "can I get a glass of water? I think all the crying made me dehydrated…" you joke.

Releasing his hold on you, he steps away. "Is that possible? Can you cry enough to become dehydrated?" He asks as he finally enters his kitchen, grabbing two glasses and you follow behind him. 

"Well, I'm not sure...at the very least, crying is  _ suuuuper _ exhausting and I always need to drink some water after crying a bunch. It sucks, I hate it."

"I certainly feel exhausted...I don't cry often. Only a handful of times as a toddler or a little older than that…If I could go the rest of my life never crying again, then that would be great." He says filling the glasses up and you walk towards him to accept a glass he hands you. "I think this night alone I've cried more than ever before…" he frowns and blinks his still puffy eyes.

"...sorry…" You say with a guilty expression. "That's my fault, huh...hopefully, I only make you cry tears of joy." You lightly joke and sip your water still feeling awful. You spent months trying to figure out how to cheer Jumin up and the entire reason why you agreed to visit his penthouse in the first place was because you wanted to help him feel better. Yet, all you've done is make the man anxious, paranoid, angry, and cry. You have a lot to apologize for and it's going to take a while for you to stop feeling guilty. Thankfully, Jumin wasn't the type to hold a grudge - V told you that once while in the hospital. "You know, Jihyun didn't seem too surprised when I told him about us. He said, 'of course, Jumin was so reliable with you'. I didn't really get what he meant by that...Did you tell him you liked me?"

"No, I didn't. He might be referring to the promise he made me make." He says before taking a few gulps to prepare himself for the reaction he knew you'd have at the news.

"Promise? What promise did you make?"

"To take care of you while he's away." He says knowing full well he's about to get an earful, and he's right.

You pace back and forth across his kitchen practically ranting about how old fashioned and outdated that is. Jumin pours himself more water and alternates between nodding and humming in agreement as you continue. He knows that you aren't scolding him specifically, but that you're finding fault with values that don't have a place in the modern era, and Jumin agrees. 

"Ugh! I cannot believe he asked that of you, Jumin. I'm not some - I dunno - houseplant or cat or something! I'm a grown woman! I can take care of myself, if anything  _ he _ needed  _ my _ help with Mint E- "

"I know." He says trying to calm you down before you get any more agitated. He gave you enough time to let your feelings out and any longer would've been less cathartic and more complaining. "You're entirely right and I'm sure he can see that just fine." Placing his now empty glass down, Jumin pauses for a few moments and finally looks into your eyes. With dark, serious eyes that force your attention on him, a heavy air that falls over you both as he speaks. "We'll be fine now. Right?"

Stopping in the center of the kitchen you look at him for a few seconds before dropping your eyes as you think a moment. You want to say yes immediately to reassure him and ease his heart, but you don't want to promise anything for fear of letting him down. Your own fears about the relationship bubble up in your stomach and you nervously play with your hands. Under pressure, you feel your heart beat faster and feel a nervous heat build inside you. It's not like you've been in this situation before, how were you supposed to know if it'll work out? Clearly, you were a bumbling fool who was great at making her boyfriend cry, and he was a romantically inexperienced emotionally constipated man. How on Earth were you both supposed to make it work? It was clear Jumin struggled with trusting you, likely because of all the women he grew up with. Plus, all he's known about romance he pulls from dramas and his dad's relationships. There's no telling how much he'll struggle with actually being with you. Relationships are hard work, they're not always fun and happy. Not that either of you have truly gotten to experience fun in your new relationship - it's been too hectic to fully process everything. Will it work? What if Jumin changes his mind about you? What if Jaehee was right and Jumin is only using you as a replacement for his cat? What if he only wants to own you and not be with you? So many "what if" questions speed through your head, enough to scare you and make you hesitate.

Your mind races frantically until your eyes meet his own again, feeling your heart calm and your fears quiet. Looking at him, you feel like you're standing along a shore gazing into a calm lake with a chilled breeze drifting through you. In his eyes you feel at peace and safe. The dark color is deep and cool, giving you the sensation of brisk winter night skies - immediately extinguishing the fiery nerves inside you. Only Jumin could do this to you, it's been like this for two years now. Even when all is seemingly falling apart, just his presence alone brings tranquility to chaos. He's your rock - no, he's a pillar in your life. Standing tall and supporting you at all times, you feel as if Jumin is your safe harbor you were blessed enough to find after being caught in a storm at sea. He's not perfect and neither are you, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the sense of security and your love for each other.

A calm smile forms on your lips as you speak, "Of course we will. I know this is new to you, being in a romantic relationship. But things like misunderstandings, disagreements, and even petty arguments happen and that's fine. It isn't perfect all the time, but what matters is that everyone involved is happy and they add to each other's lives." 

Eyes still on yours, he hums lightly and pauses to fully process your words. Giving you a matching smile, his voice is low and steady, "I think you add a great deal of happiness in my life. And it's very different from what I'm used to, I never considered the idea of having someone like you join my life. It's exciting...and scary."

"It's scary to me too, Jumin. But, I promise - it isn't always like  _ this _ . We'll make it work. I'll make it worth it." You say, giving him a fuller smile. It turns into a grin as you try to recall his dramatic speech. "What was it you said I did? I warmed up your ice cold heart?" You tease.

"My 'stone cold heart'." He corrects as he moves to hug you once again, looking down at you with love in his eyes. "And I meant it. You have, my baby lamb."

"Jumin, I adore you." You hum as you press into him and let his heat warm your own heart. "You were really brave up there. I'm sure it was difficult to make that decision, how are you feeling about it? Leaving C&R and the Glam Choi issue." 

Eyes pulling away from yours, he gazes in the distance and pauses as he continues to hold you in his arms. "I feel...like a weight was lifted off of me. I was always so worried about C&R and how to best help my father with the company, so when I realized that my father was mixing up his personal feelings with our business and stopped caring about our relationship...I realized the most important thing to me was maintaining my relationship with him. And if that meant leaving C&R so that he could abandon talking about how my marriage would affect the company, then so be it. I love my father and I love you more than I love stock prices and business deals." His eyes fall down to yours once again and he gives you a small squeeze.

"You mean, your dad, me, and  _ Elizabeth _ ." You correct and give his cheek a quick peck. "Don't you forget about her or else she'll make you regret it, mister." Looking around you search for the cat. "Where is she anyways? I saw you got rid of the cage, that was a good decision."

"I had some great advice from a beautiful woman." Jumin says before releasing you and walking you towards Elizabeth stretched lazily across his bed. "She kept me company until right before you arrived." 

Crawling onto his bed and laying on your side next to Elizabeth, you stroke her fur softly. "Hey, Elizabeth. Did you hear the good news? Jumin is going to have more free time to spend with you. But, I was kinda hoping you'd be willing to share him with me." Looking at him playfully you continue. "Don't tell him I told you, but I'm in love with him and really want him to spend time with me too. There's this really great ramen place dow- "

"Is this a subtle way of you asking to go on a date?" He interrupts as he crosses his arms and looks down at you from a small distance from the bed.

You shush him and gesture towards Elizabeth's sleeping body. "Jumin, we're having girl talk right now. It is very important. Besides, I hear Elizabeth knows of some good places to have dinner dates since she explored so much of the city while she was out."

Sitting beside you on the bed he places a hand on your thigh and his thumb rubs across your skin back and forth. "Fine, I might as well sit and listen to some of her recommendations. Although, tonight I imagine she wants to eat a peaceful meal at home." 

Looking up at him you smile. "A meal with some wine?"

An eyebrow of his perks up. "I hear that a certain kitten causes a whole lot of trouble when she drinks wine." He chuckles when you pout. "How about we just have a nice evening together, just the three of us. I'll send you home after dinner."

"I can't spend the night?"

Sighing happily he reaches down and pets your hair gently. "You really are trouble, you know that? You're such a problem, in the best sense." He places an innocent peck on your cheek. "If you stay here another night the others will all demand that I release you - even if you tell them it was your idea."

"Next time come to my apartment and we'll see if they complain if I trap you in there." You laugh.

"I think Zen wouldn't hesitate to toss me out." Jumin ponders a moment. "Maybe Assistant Kang too."

"Shouldn't you call her Jaehee now? Since you won't be employed at C&R much longer?"

"Hm. You're right. Oh, on the topic of names - why have you been calling V 'Jihyun'? I don't even call him that anymore." 

"Oh, he told us while you were giving your speech, sorry. I should have said something earlier - I bet it was kinda weird." 

"It was puzzling, I'll admit that. I suppose it is a sign that he truly has ended his photography career and is fully pursuing painting."

"Oh!" You sit up quickly and look at Jumin. "He said he had a gift for you and asked me to make sure you got it!" Springing up from his bed, you hurriedly rush to your things haphazardly laying in the middle of the entryway. "It sounds like wine!" You beam and hold up a long rectangular box wrapped in a bow.

Rising from his position he walks towards you and holds the box in his hands, recalling the call he had with V - no with Jihyun a few months ago. He had promised to return with wine as a gift and the thought made him smile. "I should give him a call after I send you home. I was quite rude to him for ignoring him and suddenly ending that call with him."

The rest of the night passes peacefully. You both chat over dinner, mostly about how Jumin planned his dramatic act at the party. Before leaving, you take the opportunity to remind him yet again how you feel by embracing him and kissing him until you're both nearly dizzy from your mutual desires. You didn't even have wine but the man had quite a powerful effect on you. When you both finally part Jumin can practically hear scissors cutting the threads that had previously left him strangled and gasping for air. For the first time in his life, Jumin Han truly felt free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baby lamb is literally my forever favorite pet name and oh my god if my partner called me that i would MELT!! Reason #2091 why I love Jumin lmao  
> This was supposed to technically be the last chapter but when I finally decided I was willing to post this, I felt like it wasn't enough. The last chapter (and chapter 4) is my favorite!!!!! Thank you for reading this far!


	12. After ending

"Married?!" The blonde haired woman gasps and a hand hovers just over her mouth. The new springtime sun filtering through the leaves of the tree above them both, light hitting her sporadically. Her now shoulder length hair blew slightly with a gentle breeze that passed through the both of you, the distant sound of windchimes making music at the movement. 

Sitting with her on a bench under a tree in the courtyard she often walks through during her free time, you decided to tell Rika about the news of Jumin's proposal a few weeks ago. Not that you could hide it, the evidence was wrapped around your left ring finger and was hard to miss. 

You chuckle lowering your hand from flashing the ring and bringing it to rest in your lap. "No, just engaged. If Jumin had his way, we would have been married years ago." You smile at the memories of playfully yet seriously telling him that he was forbidden from proposing unless you've been together for at least four or five years. You wanted to be positive that it was right. You had no intentions of ever having more than one marriage and Jumin felt the same. Unlike his father who rushed into relationships and never gave the proper amount of time nor effort necessary to ensure the partnership was likely to survive, Jumin and you took it slow. There was a lot to learn, to adjust to, and plenty of talks about what you both want from life. He played it safe and waited four and half years, but he made sure you knew he wished he could have done it  _ much  _ sooner. 

It was weird at first, it was almost like he was playing with a doll. He wanted to pick clothes for you, style your hair differently, teach you different things with the hope you'll adopt them as hobbies. When you told him that if he did all that, he wouldn't be dating you, but that he'd just have a human version of Elizabeth and not an actual loving relationship with you. He stopped trying to change you or make you his after that. It was not easy on his end with you either. You had difficulties adjusting to his lavish lifestyle and he would often have to teach you things that you would later come to find out that most wealthy children knew. It wasn't easy for either of you, but it was easily the most fulfilling and happy relationship you've ever been in. After that awkward period ended, it was clear by the second year in your relationship that Jumin was the person you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. You only asked that he wait because you  _ had _ to be certain it was right. And you knew it was when he gave you his promise to spend the rest of his life with you, surrounded by rose petals that were formed in the shape of a heart around you both and candles that lit a pathway to him from your front door to where he kneeled in the center of your home late one evening. Everyday since then was only an extra day you couldn't wait to finally marry him.

"I cannot believe it...Jumin Han...he's getting married. Hah, I knew it was possible if he just put himself out there, but I guess he didn't even need to do that. You walked right into his life, certainly saving him a whole lot of trouble." 

There's a pregnant pause, Rika likely is thinking back on her previous friendship with your new fiancé. She hasn't seen him since the single time he visited her after the legal matters were settled. You rarely ever spoke about him to her after he told you more about his previous feelings toward her - and (before you stepped into his home) that he projected those feelings onto Elizabeth. It wasn't out of jealousy, no. It was more or less to protect Jumin from her. Strange to say because in reality she had no contact with him nor could she do anything to harm him, but the idea of him existing close to her set off alarm bells in your head. Rika caused enough pain already, you didn't want to give her ammunition to play with at your expense. If she talked about Jumin and she said something to manipulate you, it would only hurt what you've built with the man.

However, after four and a half years of dating with plenty of couples therapy and learning, you know there is nothing Rika could say that would get in the way of your love. Hence, why you finally feel safe enough talking about your soon-to-be husband.

"It hasn't been that long since Zen and Jaehee, right?" She turns her head to gaze at the small garden the hospital has patients maintain. "There's so much love in the RFA now." She says wistfully.

Last year Zen and Jaehee  _ finally _ got married. They got together not long after you and Jumin started dating. Only a few months following Jumin's resignation, all the members encouraged her to quit her position and follow her heart. You all  _ thought _ you were encouraging her to simply change careers from office (slave) worker to small business owner, but then the pair announced their relationship over the messenger. You couldn't help but shout with joy for her. Thankfully, she has the best of both worlds now. Happily married and successfully managing a small coffee shop. Yoosung had told her before you had a chance to, so it was a shock to you that Rika knew about them getting married when she mentioned it off-hand once during a visit last year.

Aside from Yoosung, Saeyoung, and you, all the other RFA members have completely cut ties with her. Yoosung still visits her as often as he can, you try to visit twice a month, and Saeyoung will visit once every other month. Although, no one knows what happens when Saeyoung visits. Unlike you, he only visits Rika alone and when he knows you or Yoosung won't be around. Rika doesn't talk about him, so all you can think is that Saeyoung demanded she kept their conversations private. Yoosung, now much older and more mature, doesn't pry or throw fits about their friends' behavior. Saeyoung and Rika (plus Saeran) had a complicated relationship, he deserved to have privacy when he spoke with her.

"Do you think things could have been different?" She asks suddenly, voice sounding sad. 

"Rika…"

"I've been thinking lately. About everything. About my childhood...Did I ever tell you that my birth name isn't even "Rika"? It's Mina. But my parents changed it after they adopted me. After I left them, I made my own na- "

"Rika." You try to stop her from spiralling. It's been ages since the last time she started to have a melt down while you visited, but even you know recovery isn't linear. "Hey, shh, Rika it's okay now you're safe now." 

Her breath hitches and her small frame shakes as she begins to cry as she continues, "They all left me, you know? Everyone. My birth parents. Mika. My adoptive parents. V. All my friends. The RFA. Everyone. I have no one. I am no one. I was never loved, I never will be l- "

"Rika, stop. You're not alone, you still have Yoosung. And...and you have..." You try to reach for her shoulder, only for her hand to smack your own away and she snaps her head to look at you. Emerald greens damp with the tears pouring down from them, her face is red and she's wearing an agonizingly painful expression. 

"What? You?" She laughs and the sound sends a chill down your spine, making you remember the last time she laughed like that when she imprisoned you back at Mint Eye six or so years ago. "You already abandoned me. All of you. You leave me here to  _ rot _ but visit to alleviate your own guilt. I'm a burden. An unlovable monster."

"You're not a monster, Rika. You're a human. Please, breathe. Remember what your doctor's have said. Deep breaths." 

"You come here and you - ah...!" Her voice breaks and she releases a breathy sob. "You play pretend. Haa...you act like everything's alright. That it's fine. But it  _ isn't. _ It  _ never _ will be.  _ I _ never will be!" She glares at you and for the first time since Mint Eye, you regret voluntarily agreeing to meeting her.

"Rika…"

"Don't call me that!" She shrieks and clutches at her chest and sobs. "Just leave! Leave! Go live your happy life!" 

There's the sound of hurried footsteps and someone behind you shouts, "Hey! What's going on here?!"

"I...I'm sorry. I'll come back another day." You stand up and take a few steps backwards as one of the large nurses steps between the two of you. Another nurse tugs at your arm and leads you away as you see the tortured woman fall apart before you, leaving your chest aching and wishing you knew what to do.

As much as you did your best to gather and encourage all the RFA, even you couldn't deny the importance of personal growth. There are some things you can't solve by working together.

-

"I still don't really get why you go, but I'm sorry you had to deal with...that." Zen sips his drink and joins you in watching people walk down the street passing by the large glass windows of the empty coffee shop.

Toying absent-mindedly with your now empty cup in your hands, you gaze straight ahead, still reeling from seeing Rika like that a few hours ago. It left you feeling rattled and you needed something to calm you down, hence why you were sitting in Jaehee's shop beside Zen as she closed up for the day. 

"I know she has done awful things. I can't ever forgive her for what she did to the twins, to Jihyun, to everyone. It makes me so mad when I think about it." You inhale sharply and purse your lips, stopping yourself from getting too upset about something you have no control over. "I just can't live my life acting like she doesn't exist. I can't explain it. But, she feels like a piece of me that I can't afford to let go. Rika...she's just such a tragic person."

"Yeaaaah, I dunno...when I think of her face, I can't help but imagine her hurting Jihyun and Saeran...I mean,  _ she _ did that. It's still hard for me to comprehend, even though it's been so long." He sighs and shakes his head lightly.

"I understand what you mean. I get like that too sometimes. I think visiting her, talking with her...it's helped me understand everything. I've always just asked the same question over and over.  _ Why? _ Y'know? Why on Earth would she do all of that? Why did she make such radical decisions and why was it never enough? I've learned a lot about her and it doesn't justify or excuse her actions, but I can at least understand what pushed her to do everything." You rest your face against the palm of your hand, elbow resting against the wooden countertop. "Plus...I guess maybe I visit her because I can't help but imagine how terribly lonely she feels."

He hums, either in agreement or understanding - you aren't sure which. 

"She's right. Other than Yoosung and me...she doesn't have anyone. She's all alone." Your heart aches momentarily at the thought. You know what it's like to be lonely, to feel unloved and forgotten. You can't even imagine how much more Rika felt that after everything that has happened. 

"And whose fault is that?" Zen's eyes flick down to you and you tense up. "It's her own fault.  _ Rika _ chose to do all of those things and she chose to destroy the relationships she had with all of us. Don't pity her too much."

"I know. Trust me, I know. The moment Rika raised a hand against Jihyun...that's the moment I stopped seeing her as a victim. Because that's when she decided that inflicting pain was "salvation" or whatever, and that putting good in the world wasn't productive. From that moment...she was the sole cause of all her pain. Not Jihyun, not the world...only herself."

Taking another sip he nods. "Alright, I just needed to hear you say that. I get worried, you know? Like, what if visiting her makes you fall victim to her words...we don't need  _ both _ party coordinators falling apart on us." He playfully nudges you with an elbow and smiles. "You have a  _ huuuuge _ heart. You're a lot more caring than I could be. I feel like her being lonely is perfect punishment for everything she's done. But not you." He chuckles and looks out the window again. "Seriously, you and Jumin are perfect for each other."

With a laugh you look at him. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm just saying! We all basically gave up on the guy, he was such a douche all the time." He tsk's his tongue and shakes his head slowly. "I totally thought he would just marry himself one day, he's still so full of himself." He grumbles into his drink.

"Hey, hey." You jokingly chide, "that's my fiancé you're bad mouthing. Not like  _ you're  _ all that humble, Mr. Perfect Man." 

"So you admit I'm a perfect man?" He laughs and turns in his chair to shout towards the kitchen. "Hey! Honey! The future Mrs. Han just admitted I'm perfect!"

There's a distant shout from Jaehee in a back room saying "She's right!!" And the both of you look at each other and laugh. 

It doesn't take that much longer until Driver Kim arrives, and you say your goodbyes to the couple before climbing into the car and heading home. The streets are still slightly unfamiliar due to the new route Driver Kim has to take to your new shared home. Despite Jumin setting up a new company some years ago in a new location, it took him until a few months ago to find a new place to live. Originally, he was against the two of you moving in together before marriage, but he changed his mind when it was clear that you had practically already moved in over a year ago. You were at his place more than you were at your own apartment and it was silly to keep the charade up.

It was tricky merging your lives together at first. You wanted a real modest place close to public transportation and easily accessible, it's what you've done all your life. Cheap rent, cheap places to eat nearby, whatever could fit your budget. Jumin wasn't keen on giving up the safety of high end apartments or the convenience of living in the city. Money continues to never be an issue for him, so he wanted what he's always had - luxury and peace of mind. House hunting was beginning to be stressful because you both grew up in two totally different worlds. With each listing you brought to him, the more and more you questioned if it would work. If the two of you could truly work long term. The thought of spending so much money made you uncomfortable and just seeing the price tags on some of the places made your wallet hurt. You found yourself questioning the viability of your relationship with him...until you started visiting some of the places and the agent Jumin got referred to you both as "Mr and Mrs Han". 

They assumed the two of you were already married, so it was fun essentially role playing as a married couple when you went to each listing. When they said it, you wrapped a hand around Jumin's beside you to stop him from saying anything - silently telling him to play along. He got the hint. Stepping into various rooms or marveling at the beauty of some of the listings, the agent would say things like "your husband may use this as a home office" or "your wife could make a small home garden here". You tripped when they once said something about a nursery, neither you or Jumin were prepared for that - even in your pretend marriage. A lot of the stress and the disagreements melted away when you both remembered the reason why you were even looking for a place. To be together.

In the end, he won you over by finding a spacious apartment with a spectacular view only about 45 minutes away from his office. When you finally finished moving, you both sat out on the wide balcony and watched the sun slowly fall beyond the horizon and cherish the moment of peace.

Finally arriving home, Elizabeth only greets you with a yawn from her comfortable position. She's getting older now and doesn't usually run to greet you anymore, she only saves that honor for Jumin. Not that you can blame her, you do the same thing each time he comes home from work. Unfortunately, he won't be home tonight. He has yet another business trip this week, leaving you alone with Elizabeth for a few days in your large home. 

> You: I miss you. Hope the trip is going well.

Shooting him a quick text you walk over to the large windows and open the curtains, letting the early evening sunlight fill the space. From the corner of your eye, a small bright colored object catches your attention. On the other side of the room you see one of Elizabeth's toys on the ground, she must have been playing while you were out. Kneeling down to grab it, your eyes catch a vaguely familiar looking photograph resting on the bottom shelf of the large bookcase against the wall. Knees settling on the ground, you turn your attention towards the framed photo and grab it. 

It's the one you saw the first time you visited Jumin's old penthouse. Jumin having a picnic with Rika and Jihyun, you had no idea he kept the photo. They all looked so young, not that any of the three were old now - but the photo must be about eight or so years old. Running a thumb along the edge of the frame you study the trio again with fresh eyes. You see things in each of them you weren't aware of just a few years earlier, they've all changed in their own ways. Jihyun is no longer a photographer and has become a highly successful painter. Still a free spirited artist, he'll announce on the messenger that he has spontaneously decided to go on some new trip - but he doesn't fully disappear like he used to. Rika was...well, Rika. Her hair is much shorter now than when the photo was taken and she styles it differently too. In the photo she looks as happy as she convinced everyone (maybe even herself) that she was, but these days her eyes give you a feeling that she more or less feels at peace. Of course, there are the occasional days like today where that isn't true. Finally, your eyes land on Jumin and you smile at the sensation of your heart fluttering. He's somehow gotten more handsome over the years, his boyish charm still present in his face when he's with you. In the photo he is smiling fondly at the couple, but since joining his life, you have only known him to wear fuller smiles. Maybe that was a testament to the role you play in his life, or maybe it is the fact that the RFA is genuinely happier now than when Rika and Jihyun were together. Replacing the photo to its previous position, you grab Elizabeth's toy and stand, finding yourself at eye level with two newer framed photos Jumin must have added to his collection without you knowing. 

One showed a group photo of everyone at the most recent party. Saeyoung had an arm wrapped around a shy Saeran who was giving a hesitant and awkward smile. Beside them was you and Jaehee embracing and the photo captured you both mid-laugh. Yoosung stood at the edge holding up a peace sign and grinning, clearly trying to hold back his own laughter. Behind you, the tallest members stood side-by-side with smiles of their own. Your eyes travel to the second photo and you laugh - it was a blurry photo of you. Jumin must have taken a picture of you without you knowing, and despite how shitty it was, he still had it printed and framed. You couldn't even tell what you were doing in the photo, but it looks like a photo of you turned slightly away and maybe pointing at something. It's too difficult to make out and you feel your stomach ache from laughing so hard. 

Wiping away a tear forming in your eye and still laughing, you grab your phone again.

> You: I love you honeybun. Please call me when you can, I miss your voice already. 

-

His dark eyes above you lured you in. Pulling you closer and deeper into him. His soft, dark hair falling down tickles your face with each kiss. His voice is deep, yet his loving tone coaxes you open and reassures you of his promise. 

_ For life.  _

Yet you still need confirmation. Greedily, you grasp at his bare back, seeking verification that he was here. Your teeth lightly sink into the skin on his neck and feel for his pulse. You need to know he's alive, he's here and with you. All of your senses need definitive proof of his existence. Face buried into his neck you inhale the scent of his favorite cologne, it's one you've grown familiar with over the years. A broad stroke of your tongue gives you a taste of him, forcing him to cry out - confirming with your ears he's here. Writhing under him, you desperately cling onto him with your legs, not daring to let him go for fear his touch may very well vanish if you ease up for even a moment. Eyes fluttering open you look up at him above you. His head eclipses the moon, blessing him with a lunar halo that matches the heaven you've found yourself in tonight. "I love you, my angel. My beloved. My Jumin." You worship and sigh various praises. Sliding your hands down, you hold his face between your palms and guide his lips to yours. If he truly is an angel, you pray to all the gods to let you have him just a moment, a second, a minute, a lifetime longer. Each sigh and whimper is a beg to ask whoever may be listening to let him stay. To please not take him away. 

Your new wedding band shines in the moonlight, yet another piece of evidence confirming what you have told yourself. But you needed to hear it. Again. And again. And even more.

"Baby lamb, you're crying." The angelic voice says. So merciful, so endlessly caring. He begins to fade and you grasp at him, desperate for him to stay.

"Promise me again. Please. I ne- ah! J-Jumin, please. I need you." You pray to the voice, pleading for him to confirm his existence, his heart, his love once more. 

He creates a personalized hymn consisting of your name, I love you's, and desperate moans. He sings it to you and you feel yourself being submerged in his love. Once he told you that you were his private oasis he wanted to swallow up, yet he was the one who filled you with such adoration and love. He was an endless sea of love you never thought could be real. You felt exalted and cherished at all times, never was there a moment he made you feel anything less than that. He coils around you, squeezing out any fears or anxieties with his tight embrace. Just as the last of your insecurities leave, you cry out in worship full of pure ecstasy. 

"I love you, Jumin." You sigh once you've finally regained your senses. Reality flooding back to you seeing him trying to recover his breath beside you. "So much more than you'll ever know. I love you." 

He smiles and pulls you into his chest, holding you close enough for you to hear his still racing heart. "I love you. I'm so blessed to have you as my bride."

"Your wife." You correct, although a few hours ago he was technically right. 

He chuckles and hooks a finger under your chin to lift your face to him. "Yes, thank you. I am blessed to have such a wonderful  _ wife _ beside me." He plants a tame kiss against your lips.

"You're one and only, honeybun." You tease as you return the kiss. "Don't you ever forget it." You kiss again, deeper than before. "Or else I'll have to remind you…" you sigh as you slip your tongue against his lips. The act earns you a devilish grin from him and a dark gleam in his eye.

"You really are such trouble, kitten." He mumbles against your lips. "Maybe you need some extra training." 

Tossing your head back, you laugh at his attempts to further seduce you. Although he'll be successful, you just know that whatever he originally planned for the first day of your honeymoon won't happen if this keeps up all night.  _ Oh well _ .

Hours later, well in the dead of night, your eyes finally begin to feel heavy. Jumin's head is resting on your chest, using you as a pillow, and you feel his solid weight on you. He's like a personalized weighted blanket that wraps around you and keeps you feeling loved. Your fingers slowly and gently comb through his hair and you hear his long, even breaths and know he's finally asleep. When your eyes close for the final time that night, you dream of something familiar but new. It's a dream you've had before but you forget it the moment you wake up each time you have it, so it feels like the first time you've dreamt it each time. 

It's you, but it also isn't. It's someone you know, but also a stranger. She's you, and you are her. You can't see her face, but she has a phone in her hand. The device is playing some soft jazz melody that you feel like you've heard before. You walk around her sitting on a bed in a small apartment you're certain you've seen a hundred times by now. Looking over her shoulder you see she has the messenger open and a swirling purple heart appears on her screen briefly. She cheers a moment at the action and you feel your heart grow warm. 

Maybe it's a dream, maybe it's a view of another life, maybe it's the future or the past. You don't know. All you know is that today, right now at this moment, he's finally yours. Everyday with him feels like you've reached your happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not including depression-fueled breaks in between, this fic actually took a whole month to write. I poured a lot into it and it was def hard work lmao. It was actually harder working with canon material because I had to incorporate it into this story and I honestly hope it wasn't too forced or anything!!! Not my favorite fic I've written, but definitely the one I worked the hardest on and put soooo much love in.  
> I hope you liked it!! I mean...if you're reading this note then you read the whole thing so you must have enjoyed it at least a tiny bit lol...hoping this fic is ACTUALLY the last long multi chapter fic I write bc I truthfully don't have the time to write big projects like this as grad student orz...I should actually be working on publishing my science papers and not publishing fanfics...haha, oh well! Jumin deserves it!!!  
> I wanna go back to writing Demon Slayer fics lmao but MAN Mystic Messenger still has got me by the throat!!! I don't think I will write another MM fic tho...Pretty funny that Yoosung is actually my favorite because he was my first one LOLOLOLOL Obvi I got a lot of love for Jumin tho! Yoosung is the loml ugh I adore himmmm  
> Enough rambling!!! Thank you so much for reading!!!! Again, this was pure self indulgence and I truthfully don't care if this doesn't get kudos or comments - but it always feels nice to get em!
> 
> EDIT: thank you everyone so much for all the comments and kudos! It warms my heart 🥺 I am having some bad writers block and I am out of fic ideas!!! Pls, my dear readers, suggest some fic ideas to me via my DMs on Twitter (@ChillNoJutsu) ! I don't do commissions bc grad school keeps me busy 🙃 but I am more than happy to consider any and all ideas from various fandoms and different AUs lol thank you again everyone for reading!!


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